Before the 2024 elections, I wouldn't have figured Ndrlea for much of a chance, but now? Anyone's game.
Union man. I write about baseball and make stupid jokes, not necessarily in that order. For a midlife crisis expressed through record collecting, follow me @mystupidrecords.bsky.social
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Before the 2024 elections, I wouldn't have figured Ndrlea for much of a chance, but now? Anyone's game.
It makes sense for Lander to run for Nadler's spot, but it's too early to crown him the favorite. You still have to like the chances of Danler, Andrel, or Endral. (Hot take: Reland belongs in the conversation too.)
The Giants have played .500 ball over their last 138 games.
Just learned that the "high heels and backwards" line about Ginger Rogers came from a Frank and Ernest comic, and I thought "Yeah, I can hear that in their voice." I think I need hypnotherapy to truly understand how much time I spent reading comic strips as a kid.
spoilers
no-really-did-it-happen-like-for-real-tim-tebow-baseball-stats
Oh, wow, were you on McC? What was your handle?
It was.
This has been a test of the How Many MCC Heads Are on Bluesky? system. This was only a test.
How many pitches has Justin Verlander thrown so far?
Please do your best to avoid spreading "fake news", like the rumor that his diarrhea was acidic like a xenomorph's blood and ate clean through the floor in the Oval Office bathroom. That is *not* true. It ate through the marble tiles, but NOT the floorboards. ACCURACY IS IMPORTANT.
they don’t wear pants, how is this so hard for you
men at work
all this talk in the news about ICE, you see this? it gives me the chills. seriously, though, they say ICE is like the brownshirts squared, but that's not right. They're like the brownshirts *cubed*. Brownshirts...cubed. Water we going to do about it? Just try not to freeze up, keep the situation fl
i sleep in a race car. do you?
amazing that it looks like he's holding a microphone and absolutely crushing it at Wednesday At The Improv
shohei kosstani
i'll just text spencer
It feels like he’s been the same age for 45 years
Part of me is convinced that Danny DeVito is aging incredibly well, and another part of me is convinced that he was 20 when Taxi debuted, and he had already aged incredibly poorly as a teenager. I refuse to find out and simply hope he’s immortal.
It’s like the Goofy/Pluto dynamic, a brutal display of systemic hierarchy. One of them gets to use the indoor plumbing, and the other one doesn’t. Shameful.
complaint withdrawn
Keep at it
start with 000-000-0000 and work your way up
like two permutations way from Gunter Sockton
I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith—as there's a long drive spearheaded by Castellanos, it will be 81 yards and make it a 17-7 game. I don't know if I'm gonna be skeeting about college football again.
release the oui oui tape
Every normal person would agree that he should have been chained to the moon and left there. It shouldn’t be political.
Remember kids: a marijuana possession charge from 20 years ago can get a poor person deported to a country they’ve never been to. But recording a sex worker you hired to seduce your brother-in-law and sending the tape to your sister for revenge gets you a full pardon and ambassadorship to France.
Just realized that Mike Yastrzemski is going to be the new Bengie Molina when the Giants and Royals play in the World Series
we could saw off the tops of the flag poles so that they're at full mast and also very small (to honor his fingers)
bryan
and objects
that would explain all of those weird DMs i kept getting after i used those emojis to talk about the Giants and Orioles
that is a variety of different options to choose from, thank you google
was that umpire looking for a contact lens or
The steady improvement of Luis Matos? Tough to say, but people forget how young he is.
maybe you want to read about the importance of luis matos while you're waiting www.nytimes.com/athletic/657...
people are mad at CSPAN because they showed his naked dead body with his spread blue butt flying out of a box?
we're not nothing if not a nation of laws
the worst part is that if it happens, they legally can't tell anybody about it (HIPAA)
i didn't like it one bit
I've been seeing more and more dogs with little booties to protect their paws, and every time I see them I sing "Dogs With Boots" to that melody, and buddy, my teenagers HATE it.
THAT'S THE FEAR (baseball superstars 2027 has Jung Hoo Lee in it 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞)
That MattressFirm commercial has one of the friends from the Hair Like Dog Ears sketch. It’s like watching a prospect climb up through the minors, so proud of him
I write these, like, two years in advance. Definitely a chance.
Orioles really gotta find some new colors
All I know is that the black blobs that collected the bad souls in Ghost were the most terrifying thing I ever saw in a movie when I was a kid, and also I hope they’re real.
book's here, buy it from your kid's book fair
if you're asking if I'm having similar problems of finding TB-themed gifs, well,
rip soviet dolphin, you died how you lived, feverish and yelling about Michael Conforto
[reads article] i will die of a broken heart if jonah tong doesn't make the hall of fame
[reads headline] lmao gtfo [sees picture] i'm listening
I see you’ve played Tino-Langston before
It sure does. And yet ...
this takes like a squirt from guy fieri's carbonated bidet
i want the names and phone numbers of those responsible
"Look, I'm in awe with what he does for our country, but sometimes you get on a necromancer's bad side and ... well, you've seen his hand, right?"
Showing up for my job as the second-in-command at the Unhinged Conspiracy Outlet and saying things like, "It wouldn't be *that* unexpected if he died and I seized power, right?"
If this gets called correctly, the Padres win three championships in four years.
"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
My best friend scored four touchdowns in one game for Polk High in the championship. He was going D1, but he broke his leg, and we lost touch after high school. To this day, I wonder how his life turned out.
by true sickos (literally) for true sickos (figuratively)
This me with my records. If a burglar breaks in, I know exactly what to do: Pull out a promotional record that Pfizer sent to doctors in the '70s that's nothing but the different babies crying, each with a different malady. "Why do you own this?" he says, but it's too late, I've hit him with a bat.
sometimes i forget that you're british, and sometimes i don't
the pregame show for the Golden State Valkyries might be of interest to you
gimme a day
My name is Grant Brisbee, and here's how Casey Schmitt has improved his plate discipline. But first, a big thanks to Chuck Schumer for being "Johnny-on-the-spot" during our current constitutional crisis. He is doing everything he can ... and then some.
Also, you know what, you deserve a follow
How have I never seen this? Amazing that he’s able to manage the Guardians despite still having nausea to this day.
Caleb Durbin had like 12 extra-base hits in eight at-bats against the Giants over the weekend, and they sent up Jake Bauers to pinch-hit for him against a right-hander in a high-leverage situation. This is horseshoe theory, but for Mr. Burns and Moneyball.
Super impressive that the Cubs have had Drew Smyly, Drew Pomeranz and Matthew Boyd on their roster within the last calendar year. Travis Blackley is waiting by his phone.
This is how the US got dragged into the Vietnam War
the worst part about not knowing who is on here now is that I have, like, two skeets a minute going through my timeline. i have so much work to do
I saw Lebowski in the theaters on opening night without reading a single review, and I left thinking it was going to get nominated for just as many Oscars as Fargo
it took me so long to watch Hail, Caesar! because of press and word of mouth that I had legitimate troubles believing how good it was.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Chicken-Fried Snake Eater
It's actually closer to 65,000 hot dogs when you convert them to American hot dogs
This is a horrific story on multiple levels, and while this isn't the point, the painting looks like an Aphex Twin album cover, just give it back, you freaks
so subtle, so fast, so deadly
Rodger, love your tweets, but I think you posted the wrong video. This one is just a bunch of disembodied vests floating around.
i'm just tickled that anyone remembers my very dumbest (and most important) work, thank you
Reminder that anything over an 8.0 is NOT CONDONED by this account. That is the upper limit of BEANS scores we can laugh at.
in seventh grade, a teacher described a fight where a kid with braces bit another kid, and the wound got so infected that they almost had to take the arm. it's not like i was johnny toughstreets before that, but any desire to get in even one fight disappeared
shame your "extra-slow spin kick" button was broken
"Some people might be laser-focused and trying to win the fight. Not me. I know I'll lose. I just need to take one eye or ear to make up for it. Anyway, let's get started."
the guiding principle of my entire life is to not be on the wrong side of an internet fight video, but if it ever happens to me, you can be DAMNED sure it won't feature my Tobey MaGuire-ass frame doing spin kicks without a shirt on
[56 pages deep in a stormfront forum titled "How to Fight"] "When you're ready to escalate, try this special move: Go in close and give a li'l tap-kick to his calf. Keep your arms outstretched like the Cristo Redentor and leave your face unprotected This are absolutely no risks with this strategy."
ring man calmly walking over to pick up the jacket isn't the best part, but it would have been the best part of a lesser video
landing a kick nurtz is the only way to get a perfect 10 in the australian x games
If you showed them a matchbook, they’d carry you around like Ewoks and C-3PO.
Mario puts his hands up and says, “Hey-a, calm down, a-princess. I was-a just telling my brother a-how to spell ‘Mississippi.’”
Peach can’t believe it. She’s absolutely disgusted. “Mario, how dare you. You knew I was standing there, and you still finished that filthy story. How dare you!”
Mario and Luigi are sitting on a park bench. Princess Peach walks up and listens to a story Mario is telling. “Emma? She come-a first. I come-a second. The two-a asses … they come together. I come again, the two-a asses come together again. I come a third time, pee twice, and come one last time.”
