Not Neldra, though. Neldra’s an idiot.
“I did not say what you heard me say. I did not do what you saw me do. I am not who you know I am.” (I’m quoting me. Also “earnest ragging.” Mine.)
54 followers 79 following 459 posts
view profile on Bluesky
Not Neldra, though. Neldra’s an idiot.
And he’s never LOOKED better in his life — whenever THAT was.
“The three safeties I scored are worth just as much as the two field goals you scored!”
Looks like he’s using a wood on a putting green. Do they do that these days?
Those two 2025 rings will look nice in a safe deposit box.
Oo. Well done.
Possibly he’s being animated by all the cockroaches inside.
“In Russia, EVERY Trump shot is mulligan!”
Fabulous!
Or Pussy Tebeau.
They might be giants!
He COULD mean women who coo “Aw, poo’ baby” and get you some Ovaltine. You know, to be fair.
He’s entitled to his own facts….
A gateway demand to TRUMP being in the Hall.
Initially I read that as “Greenwald” and did not know how to react.
Geez, in high school we had to run a mile in under seven minutes just to try out for the baseball team.
I hear he’s reduced war by eighty hundred million billion percent. MAGA!
I’m beginning to think this might not be their year.
A vampichaun?
It’s called a what, now? Oh… shim, you say? Tell me more about this oh-shim.
“Good old trustworthy rock. Nothing beats rock.”
I dunno, man. That might require certain fine motor skills that I just don’t possess. You’d know this if you ever saw me use tools.
I get that one a lot, too. I’m not a lawyer.
How do I get Soros to send ME some checks?
Lugosi, so Dracula, so a cry out to Miller?
That’s MISTER Covfefe to you!
No thanks, he’s got plenty.
She thinks the Inquisition was mainly about asking questions — you know, childlike curiosity.
You could have ended that sentence after “learning.”
If he’s making a deal for Leningrad, perhaps Constantinople is on the table, or all that oceanfront property in Kansas and Switzerland.
They Maybe Could Be Tall.
This sounds… reportable.
“‘Manouychin’ is a very clever jibe that only I understand because I have a very high IQ, even though ’jibe’ is a word I don’t know and would never use, and you know I didn’t say this sentence because it actually makes sense.”
There was a line in “The Two Ronnies” about starting a reign of terror with a balloon on a stick.
Promise?
Thank you for not typing “damnit.”
Why destroy mirrors?
They’ve never been in my kitchen.
Not a shock, given that everyone in his first administration lived in the morbid fear that he’d tweet mean things about them. (No such fear time around, since they’re all basically his clones.)
Someone PLEASE ask him to define “phylum.”
“Also, Louis XIV was an American. Not a lot of people know that he wrote the Internet. And cats are bicycles.”
To be fair, though, he does have lots of followers just like him, judging from the replies to his tweet. You wouldn’t think so many folks could get tapped in the head by the same wrecking ball.
Stalin with a sand-wedge.
President Non Compos Mentis: “Fifty percent of our school kids can’t read. Fifty percent can’t write. And the other five-thirds can’t do math.”
I’d pay good money to see him do a frog stand.
You wouldn’t be the first.
Problem: a troubling noise coming from the engine. Solution: Turn up the radio real loud.
“The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy… does at least make the reassuring claim that where it is inaccurate it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it's always reality that's got it wrong.”
What if he were in a train conductor’s uniform?
Anybody ask who the president DOES want to see enriching themselves off of public service?
Yeah, sure, blame ME.
I guess he should get credit for not saying “pleasure.” For attribution, anyway.
Then AI’s certainly been stealing my writing, ’cause I’ve been using them — probably too often — since forever.
The entirety of human history has never, even once, shown pathological liars to suddenly start telling the truth, never more to lie. But this time will be different.
I can’t see Leavitt coming up with “predicated purely on arbitrary cultural norms” to start with.
It takes a special, clever, witty fellow to come up with the car model names S, 3, X, and Y. Winkity-wink.
Those things are teeth?
What good would that have done? Two new heads would’ve just sprung to life in its place.
For which the whole world get to suffer because life is always so fair.
Oh, I wasn’t disputing anything.
Doubt he suffers from those disorders. Guessing he finds them perfectly delightful.
And fluoride’s going away. Coincidence!
We already know that Trump’s economy screws people it has no business screwing. We don’t need to hear it from someone who’s clearly jealous of the attention Greene and Boebert get for being imbeciles — and so desperate for relevance as to spray-paint hokey profanities in front of her own house.
His “heart.”
To be fair, he also has a 10-year-old’s command of the spoken language, too. If that.
“There’s a SINGER named Eddie Fisher?”
See, I heard of that Eddie Fisher before ever hearing of that Eddie Fisher. Similar Joe Jackson story.
youtu.be/2KdERKn-56Q?...
People who speak English with a foreign accent speak at least one more language than I do or ever will. They’re the folks who are making the effort.
“If I pay $2.5 million, will he remove my LAST name?”
Was it something you said?
Well, sometimes he wears clothing made from more than one fabric.
Almost adequate revenge for Rob Dernier.
He might have meant 90 specific, individual days. All in the future.
Is it Space Agency or Space Force? Or Space Agency AND Space Force?
Well, I, for one, intend to start basing my life on the teachings of Tom Cruise in three… two… one…
Did someone mention a béarnaise sauce and maybe some cauliflower and a mushroom risotto? Pair it with a nice Mr. Pibb — “it goes down good!” Because I certainly did not mention these things.
Also, either that’s an old tweet, his math is bad, or he lies about his age, because he’s 54 — younger, if you can believe it, than Jennifer Aniston.
Yes. At five he thought, “that’s a very Texan foreign policy,” you know, the way all five-year-olds think.
Well, I did mean “deep.”
Don’t tell ME Liberace wasn’t a patriot. Or that he didn’t play his own tough-guy crook twin on “Batman.”
The Washington Post showed its derp commitment to the cause by noting that the term is “viewed” by some as antisemitic.
The rest of us can drink cake.
I remember taking that photo. We had such a hard time getting the lighting right, but the bird was a total pro.
Imagine how much worse it would have been had Trump offered them finger traps and a waffle party.
Pearl being taken.
“They’ve touched us all, Jim. They’ve touched us all.”
“They,” “we” — it’s such a fine line.
youtu.be/8UAzhuiT3k8?...
He’s just smarter than we are, and it’s time we admit it. It’s 50-dementional chess.
What fun is being rich if everyone else doesn’t suffer? That’s a struggle.
But a woman IS a boy. In the 16th century. In Shakespeare plays.
Well… Don Jr…. Eric….
It’s an awfully big word.
“Transwoman” comes from the Greek “transw,” meaning cheesecloth, and “oman,” meaning “a nation with a gulf.” Obviously.
DOES Musk want to go to the Antichrist?
AND she’s 6’3”, we should assume.
Covfefffective.
He’s not doing it unknowingly.