Ever watch a terrible movie and have a voice inside your head making fun of it the whole time? That's me. Patreon: patreon.com/horror4h SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-379697330 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7vgXIsWgHH7axxPvsI4WDa?si=6135
311 followers 145 following 3,494 posts
view profile on Bluesky
I mean we do that because if we actually held those accountable for horrible war crimes, every president and most of our legislative branch and upper echelons of the military would all be at the Hague within the week. Those with the power to enforce it all are the ones doing the war crimes.
all accounts of those on the ship and witnesses it was absolutely intentional. All of the publicly available facts support that it was intentional too. Israel paid over 20 years or so the equivalent of around 85 million to the US (and their budget is heavily padded by our tax dollars).
June 8th, 1967. The USS Liberty. The ship was in international waters helping to monitor the Six Day War. Israeli fighter jets attacked it killing 34 people (one was a civilian) and wounding around 170 others. The US and Israeli governments both officially said it was an accident BUT
I mean Israel literally bombed a US military ship in international waters, intentionally (according to every service member on the ship and the entirety of a Russian vessel that witnessed it). They paid a few million and didn't get in trouble (and that was OUR TAX MONEY that they paid us with).
US over the last several decades: Wow this war on drugs...we lost it bad...wow this war on terror...we lost it bad. Trump ordering the military to kill Venezuelans: Time to combine the war on drugs with the war on terror and murder people not involved in either of those things! But no healthcare.
Don't forget to check out Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.
But if you're just gonna make fat jokes, block me now to save me the trouble of having to do it myself.
Look, if you don't like Pritzker, that's fine. There are valid criticisms of the man. He's a billionaire for one. If you wanna call him out for that kinda shit, please do so. Even as someone from Illinois who likes how he's handling all this, I'd welcome that kind of criticisms.
I am gonna do a rewatch of A Night to Dismember but after watching some of it, I don't think it'll be a riffable venture for me, which saddens me greatly. However I think I've picked October's episode. Might be doing Wishmaster.
Do you think if we all just started referring to him as already being dead and called Couch Fucker President Couch Fucker that he'd get so angry his heart would explode?
Gonna start tagging Catholic churches in posts on Friday with pictures of meat that's not fish like Christians do with pictures of pork to try to insult Jewish and Muslim folks. "Oh look at this steak! It's not fish! And it's Friday! DOESN'T THIS MAKE YOU ANGRY?! YOU CAN'T EAT THIS HAHA!"
Just saw someone say they think the Russians poisoned him and that's what's going on. Look, Putin is a lot of things but an idiot he's not. If they off the president, that's just straight up fucking war. Like full scale war war. Russia can't win that. Unless Putin wants an excuse to throw nukes.
September Episode is up, enjoy Pieces or rather enjoy me not enjoying Pieces. Also here is the Dean so when you get to me referencing him, this is it. www.patreon.com/posts/pieces...
Dear all active duty military members, I have four words for you about your duties and responsibilities and where they all should be at. Major General Smedley Butler
I feel like I could gun to my head but that seems something silly to put a gun to my head about.
If you're wondering what you're gonna do tomorrow with a maybe whole day off, may I humbly suggest you spend a little over an hour on the new episode which should be posted before 9 am Central (assuming I wake my ass up that early).
If you think the dems would do literally anything at all progressive if they took back the entire legislative branch then I've got a bridge to sell you.
Democrats don't bring shit to the fights because they don't show up for the fights. They cower and cater to the center and to nazis to try to get votes and money instead of catering to their base.
LOL they won't do a fucking single god damn thing. If you think the dems are anything but compliant and complicit in fascism you're a fuckin lost cause at this point.
Me being able to grow a luscious beard since 5th grade but never being able to grow a mustache:
Jane Wiedlin, one of the founders of The Go-Go's, the rhythm guitarist and a backing vocalist, was the Singing Telegram Girl in Clue.
So the shooter literally was googling shit like "what songs are the best to shoot up a church to" and even more obvious red flag things. Good thing our FBI and law enforcement was busy *checks notes* TRYING TO DEPORT FIREFIGHTERS WHO WERE LITERALLY FIGHTING FIRES This country is fucking stupid.
All I'm saying is if someone asked ChatGPT if it's legal to kill billionaires til it says yes and then went and started doing it...maybe they'd regulate it?
Me walking into CVS: I would like one vaccine and one cigarette please for I........ dramatic pause....... am a smoker!
I feel like this ignores spunk too much. Also you got your moxy in my acumen!
NInety Nine Percent of all mass shooters are cis. Anyone trying to blame trans folks as a whole for this should get the wall.
"And I, I will sell out."
Fully expecting the Trump administration to dig up Benedict Arnold and give him a blowjob on the steps of the Lincoln Monument at this point.
I'm in favor of every dipshit who lives in my town having to retake their drivers test again right now. We had some road construction this last month or two and SO MANY PEOPLE CAN'T FUCKING DRIVE. I've seen at least a dozen people run lights every week. And there's less than 7000 of us here.
10 year old me: so nazis are back? Me: Yes. 10: and the news doesn't care? Me: Correct. 10: But Teen Vogue and Vanity Fair do? Me: Yup. 10: The future is dumb. Me: Right? ...I really gotta stop using my time machine for this shit sorry lil dude. 10: It's ok, you got a lot on your plate.
Vanity Fair staff has more integrity than 90% of the mainstream media services.
LOL they won't. They literally won't. It's a nice thought though.
Just in case you wonder what the bar is for you as a Christian. That. That's the bar. If you want to label yourself a follower of Christ, that's the kinda shit you need to be doing. I should be able to tell you're a Christian by your actions. And your actions should be Christlike. Like that.
I saw a video of a British Christian man getting arrested in the UK for holding a sign saying he agreed with Palestinian Action (the group the UK labeled a terrorist group because the UK is run by sycophantic cowards). He screamed as he was dragged away that Jesus disrupted things for peace.
I mean he literally platformed far right propagandists on his podcast and agreed with them about trans people, like..this year. He doesn't give a shit and nothing short of just pure bribery will change that (and that won't change it it'll just change the optics)
For a moment i thought this mean Newsom was getting that award and I was about ready to shit into the internet in an attempt to spray him with it. Also yup, I'm never voting for him or Buttigieg. You gotta support basic human rights for everyone if you want my vote. period.
Now if you made every single white male between the ages of 12-45 disappear, mass shootings would be reduced by a ridiculously large percent. I don't even know a single thing about the shooter but if I guessed "white dude" I'd have around a 50/50 shot of being right.
I'm already seeing it. Took minutes for it to start up. Mass shootings are NOT a mental health issue. I get why you really want them to be but they're not. If every single mentally ill person on the planet disappeared right now, mass shootings would go down less than 10%. We aren't killing people.
Me every five to ten minutes in the last 5 years:
Finished almost all the editing for September's episode. Just gotta add the theme and it'll be ready, meaning it should be up September first. Now I gotta think about what the Halloween month episode will be. I have an idea but I'm not sure the movie is riffable even for my "talents."
No one talking about how the barrel is back but it's significantly lighter in weight. That barrel had a body in it and it's been fucking dissolving for decades and this was all a cover so the old man could dispose of it properly. WHY ISN'T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!
10 year old me: I bet in the future technology will be super cool! 40 year old me: i have to watch an ad to use a notepad app on my phone. I have to watch. An ad. To use. A notepad. 10 year old me: ....dude.... 40 year old me: Right? Also, should've used my one time travel thing better than this.
One of the great mysteries of the world.
I got a comment removed and the appeal denied on tik tok. The comment that was such a violation of terms and conditions? Someone asked who said a specific quote, i answered. The name? Bud Cubby. tik tok hates halflings apparently.
Boy 80s big boss guys were really having mutagens and like cybertech and mechs and shit and were just like "I know, let me give this god-like power to my second in command who is also the literal biggest dumbest fuck I've ever met and who constantly ruins every plan I've ever made. I am smart."
....does this hurt the grape?
If you offered me a few pieces of plain white bread at 2 am as a snack I'd be like "no what? wtf?" But if you offered me a few plain flour tortillas at 2 am as a snack I'd be like "weird way to propose but ok"
Knew he was goin down when he voluntarily played at Trump's inauguration
There's a Mexican restaurant near me (in the 97.8% white town of less than 7,000) that had the n fall off their sign so for a solid couple months their sign said "OPE" It don't get much more midwest than mexican food in a small town with ope being mentioned.
Don't worry though, I usually laugh during the recording at me stumbling over my lines and then am a lot more forgiving to myself in editing than portrayed here but part of my brain IS like "you fuckin idiot....wtf dumbass....jfc me wtaf?!" It's just not as long as the "lol oh well" part
Time to sit down to edit more. Editing is my least favorite part of the process. Nothing like listening to your own voice fucking up a script you wrote over and over to make you feel good about yourself. Me listening to myself stumble over a line I wrote 8 times instead of just writing a new line:
Dogs howling to "help" ambulances and firetrucks is one of the best parts of life.
Bestest helper ever
I've never really had poutine. What fry for is the best for it? Classic fries? Crinkle cut? Steak fries? Curly seems a poor structural choice but with a fork...? Personally I'm pulling for waffle fries cause I feel like you get a lot of gravy and can have a whole cheese curd just sitting on a bite.
mfw my team in league surrenders even though I personally am winning the game for us and in the lobby after the enemy team goes "why'd you ff? you were winning"
"Pro life" party party that "protects kids" fuckin shameful
Remember as people point out what places have higher crime rates than NY/LA/Chicago that regardless of where the crime rate is, the most efficient and easiest way to reduce crime is to give poor people money and give the homeless homes. It's literally that simple. And neither party does it.
As an American, agreed. We're not safe for foreign folk. I don't want anyone coming here if they can't expect a measure of safety and currently I'm deeply worried for anyone darker than me with a slight tan (I'm very very white).
Florida cops show up cause the crosswalk is painted rainbow. Not for the Nazis that have showed up to Disney. But because a crosswalk. Is painted. Rainbow. And y'all think the left went too far with "defund the police"? lol k.
oh that's that super battered fries, if those were heavily seasoned too I could polish off a ton or ton and a half lol
Me seeing the comment section on "national guard may be deployed to chicago" be flooded with "send the troops in!":
Now THAT'S an endorsement!
I said this a few years back when Florida brought it up, people were cheering and like ok but you know they're gonna target queer folk and people of color right? And they won't execute anyone that's white, straight, and especially they won't execute any religious or law enforcement.
If I had "fuck you" money y'all would get an episode from me every month and nothing else ever. I wouldn't be starting a damn thing.
Can you imagine being rich and being an asshole in public to people for no reason? Imagine having enough money you never need to interact with another human being for the rest of your life and instead you just shit on people (always people who are already oppressed too). Like wtf?
September episode editing has begun. I meant to start a couple days ago but just have felt like absolute shit mentally and sitting there picking apart my own voice does not help when I'm like that lol Thankfully the mental clouds cleared enough today so I got in a solid editing session. Huzzah!
So Jay Mohr is a vampire who somehow orchestrated River's death to feed off his lifeforce. That's clearly the only logical conclusion.
Well to her raping children is appropriate soooooooooooo
Without the regions they love to shit on, there'd be no progressive policies enacted ever. Who do they think lead labor reforms? The south is where the civil rights battles were fought. Blair Mountain ffs. It's all of us or none of us, it doesn't mater what region you're in, you're human damnit.
Me: everything is hopeless and pointless and I hate being alive and want to just leave The internet: The dogs were good again this week Me:
Intel being 10% owned by the government.....still waiting on any of those so called libertarians to do anything other than reinforce the idea that you're just republicans who love weed and hate age of consent.
My two most controversial horror takes (I think) 1. Torture porn as a genre is lacking imagination, it's cheap, has basically no artistic merit, and I hate it (but keep making it because that's just my opinion). 2. Cabin the Woods ruined itself with the monster release scene.
It was very cool to see vampires portrayed as more feral predator than a sexy subversion of puritanical views on sex. Toying with their victims like cats do. The ending was a bit meh for me but overall I really liked it.
I asked chatgpt and it said: youtu.be/r7l0Rq9E8MY?...
We need a citizen funded PAC so we can start bribing, I MEAN LOBBYING, politicians to actually listen to our interests.
They don't even like HIM they like his PR team. Who are constantly using generative AI btw so like...fuck em all
I'm not sure if a half dozen giant potato wedges qualifies as a meal but technically it does because that was my breakfast/lunch. Potatoes. Potatoes good.
Politicians are so cheap but priced just high enough that the public can't buy them.
Water pupper!
Last time I checked to end homelessness and hunger each in the US would cost around 50 billion which means 100 billion total which is like 5-6% of our military budget. Homelessness is a policy choice that both parties agree on.
If we spent 95% of the police budget on homelessness, food insecurity, and healthcare (including mental health) it would do more for crime than any police department has ever done.
Me hearing james dobson died:
He's not getting down and dirty though. His PR team is. He's still platforming horrible people and sharing their opinions on trans folk and also his PR team is constantly using generative AI which is wasteful and harmful to poorer communities. He's blue maga.
Thank you for that. Please make sure your bosses know that this sentiment is big enough to matter and they all need to be looking for better options for the midterms and for the 28 election. I need 2 things from the DNC candidate: 1. Genocide = bad 2. Human rights for all = good That's it.
This reminds me when Ian McKellen broke down on the set of The Hobbit because he wasn't acting with anyone, it was all green screen and he just couldn't keep going because of how awful of an experience it was. If they make Alan Cumming cry I won't ever forgive them.
Society will allow anything but gun regulation apparently. Just have her drop the book on the ground and start kicking it into class, scuff it up, step on it, etc. Then "Oops, I wish I had some sort of container to keep it safe but alas I am forbidden!"
Yea but this isn't fire with fire this is ai slop that literally wastes water and ruins the ecosystems around poorer communities and they're using it (not that there is a justification to use it at all) to what? Troll conservatives, who don't care? It's just masturbation at this point for liberals.
When has that ever stopped the dems before?
Really depends on the size of them all.
I'm kinda tired and have a bit of a headache, can i just screenshot NFTs and piss off the tech bros tonight instead?
HAHAHA BUT FUCK ME FOR WANTING SOME PURITY IN CANDIDATES HAHAHA I hate it here
No but you don't understand, THIS time voting for the lesser of two evils but still very much fucking evil, will TOTALLY work and it's DEFINITELY not the time to criticize or push the party to be better because if you do then the red fascists win and it's YOUR fault. Duh.
Recording for September's episode is complete. editing to start tomorrow. Also holy shit this movie is insane. I do NOT understand how it's as well rated as it is. Every decision by the film makers is baffling at best.
Trump being concerned with getting into heaven is like me being concerned that someday Aurora will see me walking around and jump on me to ride my in public because she finds me sexually irresistible.
Silent k's are the participation trophies of spelling.
Sorry not sorry but if your voice doesn't rise a couple octaves when seeing a cute animal then I don't trust you as a human being. I'm just above a Johnny Cash on the deep voice registar but the second I see an animal I'm a castrato