Playing in the Dark
misandrist, autistic orphan woman, flâneur, psychonaut, deadhead, lesbian n a man's body, architect, Bodhisattva of Chonburi, project mgr, photog, cannavangelist, pacifist, cannabis growr, dirty hippie, Tullamore Dew, Spritz Aperol, Negroni drinker, 🥧❤er
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Playing in the Dark
My body still jerks violently, unpredictably, & painfully, & if you see me out walking, say Hi! and give me money.
Hopelessness Center, it's intolerable to me. If you want to make merit you can support me, Kunga Tsondru, the Bodhisattva of Chonburi nee Steve Cobb, by sending me cash via Zelle at stevenkcobb@gmail.com kthxbye. shit misery life goes on as we fight SSDI a 3rd time for 2 more yrs for my bennies.
Not having a dollar to buy anything, & not having a debit card to try & overdraw to force a purchase through, & not having a mother who is worth a shit, is an awful combo for me. So we walk back to the LRM & see what the Ridge has to say & see where we might lay our head tonight. We can't do the
were forbidden from leaving the white run regressive tax avoidant paternalistic flyover fiefdom of fucked up water rights & useless land. Still looking for a piece of shit lawyer to file a civil suit there & we gotta eat & stay indoors 1st & have more urgent cares & the lawyers never sue their own.
& screaming, from the #ChoiceHotels #QualityInn 'cause the whites didn't like what I was saying about stupid fucking white people, alone in my domicile, while watching Ms. Joy Reid on the #msnbc, when we had tickets & hotels paid for for Dead & Company shows from Cleveland to Phoenix in 7 cities &
maybe tomorrow Mr. James will do the dirty laundry or the Ridge will say I am sufficiently crazy & we go there this afternoon for August. August was also the month we lost in piss poor prison town Canon City in white supremacist Colorado after we were attacked, battered, & dragged, cuffed, naked,
& not the hoi polloi at all. Stacey let me go into the LRM's clothing closet & we got us a new-old Brooks Brothers red polo shirt & we spied a Brooks Brothers 17-33 blue button down & a pair of khaki shorts so we have something to change into, after we spend the night outside on the ground, &
Aries girl Tricia in Canon, but we showed up, then met with Stacey to see if she can get me into a 28-day rehab as a means to getting into some kind of stable housing because the systems the white man has made now are all fucking stupid & only serve the private white corporationpeople insurance cos.
So we're waiting to hear from The Ridge & we have nowhere to sleep tonight & no food & no money to buy anything with. C'est la vie, che ci vuoi fare, life sucks then you die. We met w Kasi for therapy this a.m. at 8:00 a.m., & she sure ain't my pistol packing dirt bike riding eidetic memory having
no ID whatsoever. Over at our cunt of a Mother Wanda's house in Idle Hour there is an original Birth Certificate & our expired Colorado DL, but she refuses to open the door & let me in her house, so that's not much help to me.
it up, and placed it on the foot of the bed, next to where I was sleeping. The *last* thing I did before I retired was take the change out of the pocket of the jeans we got from the Lexington Rescue Mission, & put it inside the bag. So that same change now was in a pile on the bed. So now we have
my Wellcare Medicaid card; an original Social Security card that it took me 10 fucking years to get from the fucknuts of SSA dot gov; & guess what this piece of shit did? He/She/It/They took my Food Stamp card out & placed it in the bottom of the bag. Then, they took about $1.50 in change, scooped
and knocked the fuck out. And we let down our guard for the 1st time in a month, or maybe 5 years, and a thief in the night, reached into all that we have left on earth & stole my Ghurka passport cover; my passport; my new Lexington Public Library card; my Hopelessness Center ID; my 5/3 debit card;
rest." It was only a matter of time before they "caught me", but I never do anything wrong, I was just doing what's right for me, Ain't nothin' but a G thing baby... So we had 4 2 oz vodka shooters, our 2nd round for the day, when we got there, and we were in a blackout, & then we took our Zyprexa
in, but if you have a drink of alkeehall, after 30 years of the fakakta Treatment Center Mentality having infested the Courts & Society, you gotta go to Detox. So I was like, "Sweet! I'll get a bed a bed in a room where the lights are out & not a filthy plastic mat on the floor, & maybe get some
him. So I did. He asked, "You been drinkin'?" "Yep.", I said. So out came the breathamahlyzer white tube to blow in & I scored a 0.2. So off to Detox Unit we go. Now, these psychos inside this place can be shooting dope, smoking crack, snorting heroin, or eating meth, and still get a bed to sleep
a break, away from the general population of cacaphony & blathering idiocy of gen pop, plus, it's their stupid fucking rules, so after I came in through the out door, which may have been my 1st Led Zepplin album, he was down the maze of misery in a jiffy to meet me, and said to come up to the desk w
one described in the brackets, and they went into my bag. Now, granted, this is in the Detox Unit of the Hopelessness Center at 360 W. Loudon Ave. here in LEX, 'cause I came in through the out door, & Mr. Joe, methinks had been watching me go quickly insane & leave my senses, & thought I could use
So we got all our shit stolen again. The thief, who we believe to be the shit staff at the Hopelessness Center, came into my room {WE STOPPED TAKING THE OLANZAPINE BECAUSE IT MADE ME FOGGY & FEEL NOTHING & NOT GIVE A FUCK, AS JOE SAID, AWFUL WAY TO LIVE} while I was knocked out on Zyprexa, the same
Ulysses, aloud n bed at 3016 Dumbarton, 2 blocks off of M, in Plantation Town DC in '96, 2 triple Oh 7, bitches!, where I learned to eat eggplant & caponata & grew nasturtiums n planter boxes, & rosmarino, salvia, timo, & basilico n orange clay pots, but now we're alone & homeless & out of our head.
we talked for a half an hour straight to a moderately hot woman with chest tattoo and moderately large rack and a cubic zirconium in her filtrum. So we've been reading the short stories of the one & only True man Capote & they are exquisite to the ear, just like Paola & We reading James Joyce's
So... Where were we. We just had another assessment with The Ridge here in the white run repugnicunt flyover fiefdom of the bloody Kaintuck, where the whites refuse to pay any taxes and there are no social services to speak of, and you gotta beg and plead your case to get into a fucking rehab &
We're baaaaaack! Since last we left our intrepid traveler Kunga Tsondru, he had all his shit stolen by the crackhead, mentally ill staff of the Hopelessness Center on W. Loudon here in LEX. I made a limerick. pigs in the sky pigs on the ground piggie piggie piggie everywhere you look round in LEX
I miss having a camera and a phone.
Lexington is awash in unwashed misery, just because the whites refuse taxes, same as it ever was.
being homeless sucks being on foot sucks - the walking is killing me being on guard for violent white state terrorist pigs sucks needing to use the toilet & not having one sucks carrying around anti-psychotic drugs that make you psychotic, along with Celebrex, Acetamin, Liprinisil, & Olanzapin sucks
Forced Birth, Death, Surveillance Capitalism, & Moral Bankruptcy, brought to you by Comcast & NBC Universal.
to a planter class, white supremacist, slave holding state, just as everything today is so much worse, in the white run, repugnicunt flyover fiefdoms of hopelessness & no teef, that we see today from plastic polluted sea to fracking fluid polluted sea, in the failed democratic republic of the US of
Been my favorite Kentuckian since Mrs. Asher's 4th grade class at Breckinridge Elementary. We used to take our archi-girlfriends down to his tall red brick manse, down towards Richmond, & when the Revenuer would come to collect taxes, he'd fire a 4# cannon at them, 'cause he wasn't gonna give money
How does such a drunkard even find his office inside the Pentagon?
Peach Trees in Blossom - 1888 #artbots #vangogh https://botfrens.com/collections/46/contents/14355
Tis quite amazing what the self-hating Jew Stephen Miller & white boy Homan from the illiberal cripple's Tej-has have gotten away w since the myopic regressive bigot SCOTUS John gave the orange rapist Fuhrer Full Immunity & arose the pardoned, insurrectionist, balaclava-clad white terrorists of ICE.
University of Vienna Ceiling Paintings (Medicine), detail showing Hygieia #artbots #klimt https://botfrens.com/collections/109/contents/28526
Lots of insane people blathering nonsense in this town, or, as Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says, "Make friends with all of it because no one is coming to save you." I never bought it being a chronic, progressive, fatal illness. We sure miss weed though after carboxylating it 4-12 X a day for 9 years.
really pissed; & a 10 year old boy who held all the shame; & a 12 or 13 y.o. boy who wears a light grey hoodie & is wearing Risky Business Wayfarers & holding a very large kitchen knife, like Michael in Halloween. Look out y'all, Kunga Tsondru is back in Lexington to settle the score. Hahah.
wasn't the right Rx for what ailed me." "OK, so back to me.", this is something AAers do when hanging on the sidewalk after a meeting. It's done in jest & with dead seriousness at the same time :) Turns out I had Internal Family Systems "split selves" & an 8 y.o. girl I locked in a closet, who was
got their trip." To quote Ram Dass. I said to Tricia, my pistol packing, dirt bike riding, eidetic memory having, Lego stealing, Aries girl therapist n a Nephrologist's office, "Why do you suppose I had 7 1st year anniversaries in the Double A?" And she smiled & I answer my own question, "Because it
never gave yourself a choice. You just drank." My drinking has helped me tremendously to smooth out the body shenanigans & Complex PTSD, & split selves, as Bill Wilson said, "Alcohol is but a symptom of the disease." And it's all just karma running off anyway. "That's just your trip, man, everyone's
I had literally never had that thought before or not finished a drink, & it was like the stories told of how the world is an illusion & somebody made a cylindrical mirror with me in the middle of it. It cracked & shattered violently, and fell down into a black abyss. And the next thought was, "You
the way, it's quite easy to outgrow your alcoholism, or whatever else, since it's just excessive craving, & you can drink freely, & it's not an issue. The moment came for me one night as I was sipping a whiskey in East Harlem. I went to take a drink, & thought, "No, I want to feel good tomorrow."
I throw 1 out of every cigarette butts onto the ground just to not be a perfectionist; you can just eliminate the object, or judgment & the notion that continuous, long term sobriety is not really anything, since every 7 years every cell in your body is different, & if you work on yourself along
Eastern Point Light - 1923 https://botfrens.com/collections/173/contents/3104650
Henri Matisse, View of Notre Dame, Paris, quai Saint-Michel, spring 1914 #artbots #moma https://botfrens.com/collections/14377/contents/1134866
Premonition https://www.wikiart.org/en/remedios-varo/premonition-1953
Everything we wrote for 25 minutes vanished when we went to smoke, like somebody deleted it all,
room, with the wooden scroll across the top, & she'd say, "You see that look in my Mom's eyes? She imagining how beautiful our babies are going to be." Oh! So we thought that we would read some Capote aloud on Main Street, for the ignorant of the last 2 generations, who no longer read,
My neck hurts like a mother fucking, sitting here hammering away. so we're gonna grab the last of whatever this shit is I'm drinking, & go outside & imbibe, & have a smoke. Hopefully, they won't steal my shit, I'm too lazy & forlorn to carry it. 27:38 remaining on the clock. Ciao! Ci vediamo dopo!
well as Nietzsche, since I am the Superhuman of whom the mad professor of Basle is always screeching. Once you've punched through the void, to the world of emptiness, where it's all completely filled, you realize what Thich Nhat Haan said, in the 12 links or is it 14? links of dependent orgination.
4 40 years, since the sainted Reagan fired all the Air Traffic Controllers, so we sat on our bench in front of the Courthouse, and read Capote aloud, and we have to quote some & skyte, tm because the writing is stupendous, even the way describes clouds. And we are living our his stories now, as
now that the Monarchist's Nativist Mick FauxNews Murdoch Silo Disinformation Propaganda Netowrk, & its related ecosystem of RWNJ Hugh Hewitts, Alex Joneses, Roe Jogans, & Sinclair white jesus, is the only media they ever see, and they finally dismantled the Dept. of Education, as they've been trying
room, in Richmond, w the wooden scroll across the top, & she'd say, "You see that look in my Mom's eyes? She imagining how beautiful our babies are going to be." Oh! So we thought that we would read some Capote aloud on Main Street, for the ignorant of the last 2 generations, who no longer read,
fence, or open up the gate. Our 1st lesbain exgf was just off the 6th Floor pysch ward at St. Joe's, they'd decided she was just a drunk, and not really Borderline. It was effortless, being around that woman; she was 4 week sober & I was two. And we'd sit on the big Victorian sofa in the living
who were just emerging then, & we read James Joyce's Ulysses aloud in bed, but I don't recommend moving in with someone 5 weeks after you met 'em, unless you're a lesbian, of course. They show up with their truck full of stuff on the 2nd date, but when it comes to me, I seem to kick 'em over the
who I never heard from again. She had a Medici education & a degree from Italy, & a Masters n Foreign Service from Georgetown, & worked for the World Bank, doin economic & infrastructure development n Belarus & Ukraine, & for very hundred million they spent 40 million of it would go to the Oligarghs
due to the richness of our manure, and the grass is green & delicious, and we have houses better than 90% of the humans, & they make us fuck all the time to make more of us. She works hard for the money. So we've been reading Capote aloud on our bench, & it's taking me back to Paola on Dumbarton,
#thedetailisthevesselofmeaning
really good across the street from my black slotted metal bench n front of Mr. CJF & K. Norman Barry's renovated Courthouse, here in Lexington, the Horse Capitol of the World, where MCW & We have spent many lifetimes together, as fillies in a Bluegrass field, where the soil is made for growing weed
10:39 a.m. 9/8/2568 in the year of our Lord Indra, banging the keys at the Lexington Public Library, after 3 2 oz. shooters of something called Fris, a malt beverage maybe it's like vodka?, who the fuck knows, & a small coffee w cream from Greenery, Thailand coffee sucks giant donkey dicks, it's
It's a wonder these whites still know how to breathe.
Cheeto lies and everybody dies in the failed democratic republic.
where we pulled many a young lass away from her baking or waiting on tables next door at Ramsey's, & down the hill to 280 E. High w our wrought iron balcony & 3 room studio painted Mondrian red, blue, & yellow, for hours of sexual body shenanigans. 4 minute warning. Computer gonna time out my 1 hr'
everywhere you turn, but now we don't have to worry about charging a phone or keeping up with it. I've long said that I want to return to 1994, when cellphones were $1,500 Motorola bricks & mostly didn't exist, & we read 7 books at a time, while we drank free coffee at Missy's Pies on Woodland,
plastic mats. I find the place intolerable so we're gonna go to a rehab we don't need, just so that we can buy 28 days of freedom away from that fucking place. Life was already stupidly hard & comically ridiculous enough, what with gay boy gun nut Peter Thiel's 2-factor authentication horseshit
such a dearth of help in the bloody Kaintuck, & now it's ever so quickly drying up to a trickle. So we lost our phone the other night when we slept on the sidewalk someplace downtown until around 3:00 a.m. & then shlepped back to the Hopelessness Center and fell down onto the floor on their dirty
kinda like the myopic regressive bigot John on the bought & paid for Leonard Leo Six Koch whores of SCOTUS. The rehabs, community health centers, sober living houses, & free phones, are already starting to close, here & now, BE HERE NOW, said Richard Alpert before he learned yoga, there was already
unwashed blathering masses at the LRM, today we heard a guy say that he was going to blow up Voices of Hope, because they had 20 people inside it sitting in cubicles, sucking at the teat of gubbermint & playing games on their phones. He thinks that all of it should be burned down & started over,
SSDI have denied me twice in 5+ years, this last time, after 28 months of waiting, & Mr. Fernando n the Federal Benefits Unit in Manila having lost my paperwork for 8 months & threatening to close my case. It's hard out here for pimp. So, yeah, listening to the ignorance & stupid opinions of the
outside, after the cop trauma & the Complex PTSD, & the "split selves", & the anxiety disorder, & the PTSD w Somatic Response, started coming out after we left NYC in December of '17, & then did our ~220 Medicaid therapy sessions w Tricia, & for lack of an income, since the niggardly whites who run
drugs at you, and call it "medicine" & practicing it poorly, but they & Medicaid always pay, so they keep doing the same shit they've always done per the CPT Codes that work best, & there are no resources for people who just need a stable environment, & less interaction with the dangerous & chaotic
Sober Living kind of arrangement. I keep screaming at the top of my lungs, using my inside voice, that drugs & alcohol ain't my problem, my body, my mind, & trauma by the violent white state terrorists of Fremont County in white supremacist Colorado are, but all they wanna do is throw allopathic
were all the rage. So it seems in the world today, the only way to find housing if your family abandons you & they are a pair of untreated ACOAs & OCDs & covert narcissists, who always make you the scapegoat & enemy, is to check yourself into a 28-Day Rehab & then go to some faith-based horseshit
in downtown Lexington. We came upon the Lexington Public Library from the north, recalling when it was built & 1st opened w its facets of pink granite panels. It was poorly scaled & badly detailed, but it was the days of PoMo, so everything was back then when Michael Graves & Bob Stern's "caryakids"
restless, they need somewhere to go, as lady & I look out tonight on, Desolation Row" We walked a different way today w our maladies & pain, as we used to do in the City, when we'd always try to go a different way somewhere & back, when we were out & about, & loved life. So many gorgeous old houses
most impoverished, worst off, of the hoi polloi. All the grant money has dried up, so you can't find an Obamaphone anywhere now. And after a decade of fascist violent rhetoric, the whites who run the repugnicunt flyover fiefdoms have made it illegal just to be homeless,🎵"& the riot squads, they're
at the 8 terminals here in the Lexington Public Library are homeless & stinky. It's interesting to hear the convos of the years homeless talk at the Lexington Rescue Mission & watch in real-time the effects that the Strom Thurmond Cheeto Mussolini regime's decimation of Medicaid is having on the
Death, Surveillance Capitalism, & Moral Bankruptcy. I was struck by how brief his stories were, just a few pages. He must've written them a few minutes & then drank & drugged & whored for months on end after the advance money or book sales money rolled in. Every single one of the 7 men sitting by me
pretty much every single one of the untaxed unregulated unpublisher of amygdala driven hate machine algorithm ad revenue private white corporationpeople datamining surveillance capitalism apps & such, because they control free speech now in the failed democratic republic of the US of Forced Birth,
do it. I told my pistol packing dirt bike riding eidetic memory having Aries girl therapist Tricia that I'd been trying to create a new form of literature since at least 2014, because secondo me, what we have today that passes for literature, sucks giant donkey dicks, but we've been thrown off of
10:05 a.m. 8/8/2568 in the year of our Lord Indra w the ghost of On Kawara sweating our ass off here at the Lexington Public Library. Ya know, after diving back into Capote in this collection of short stories, I'm more than convinced that I would write them as well as he did, if I had the place to
The whites here in white trash Lexington are so white trash now that they won't even scoop their pooches poop. I've never seen such awful behavior from whites, anywhere, and we certainly don't act like this in New York, as a smelly homeless woman w bed bug bites on her back, sits down next to me.
Amazing what the white LE will overlook when it comes to prosecuting the white trash from Jan. 6th
Even Lev Parnas got a book deal in the #dirtyrussianmoney Cheeto Mussolini Colludy Rudy, Rod the ultimate swamp creature Rosenstein, Harry Potter Walrus 1st regime of the orange rapist pathological narcissist regime that ended the failed democratic republic of the US of Forced Birth, Death, & Survei
house of abuse, neglect, & ignoring, is all about making me the problem rather than you. Your lesbian daughter in a man's body, Steven AKA Kunga Tsondru, the Bodhisattva of Chonburi
or get the fuck out of my life once and for all, because every single time I rely on you, you fail me & I get my teeth kicked in. It's just not worth doing this dance with you any longer over money. Need you to go 5/3 today & put $200 in it. Can you? Will you? Probably not, because Wanda's
holes of #SSDI who have denied me twice. Can you do that? Can you, Wanda Cobb, do as I ask for one god damn time n your life, without making up some bullshit excuse or crying poverty or infirmity or whatnot? I am at the Lexington Public Library using their computer and I need you do to as I ask
Keith Cobb, born 5/11/61, have engendered, by not providing me a place to live & to try to be OK, when I needed it. You simply seem incapable of understanding me, & unable to do what I need you to do when I ask, and you are unwilling to try, without argument and bullshit you make up, always having
stingy, stubborn, stupid, & selfish Mom, who always called me "mean, hateful, nasty, & selfish", so that's what we became, and even after 20years of yoga & meditation & therapy of all kinds, we go insane now and they take me to the psych ward at Eastern State for 23 hours. This is what you and your
now, as a result of growing up with you and John Easy Roger Roger Yolk, and the passively neglectful Father and the encroaching Mother, which you are and always have been, and it's awful for me, so we keep having psychotic breaks with reality and winding up in the psych ward, because you are too
& not done to me, but it is what it is, as they say. We know that you, as a pathological covert narcissist, will never behave any differently than you choose to, such is the nature of your disease, along with the untreated ACOA & OCD & whatever else is wrong with you. So we suffer greatly
now every 3 or 4 days and hope we survive it. It is a shame for me that you are so completely ignorant of what's wrong with me and you refuse to communicate even in a rational, limited way, and help me the way I need. Wanda telling me to "Get over it" is as abusive as everything you've ever done
live in your own skin, after treating you daughter so abhorrently, the only time I ever needed you in the last 3 decades, but I guess it's who you are, which is sad, & we can't stay sane in the Hopelessness Center homeless shelter with my kind of Complex PTSD, and hypervigilance and we go insane
who bore us: We lost our phone and our prescriptions and our one change of clothes, someone stole all my things because we couldn't walk back to the Hopelessness Center shelter in time for curfew, and you have sentenced me to a quick death, and I just don't understand how you sleep at night or can
12:41 p.m. 7/8/2568 in the year of our Lord Indra w the ghost of On Kawara @ the Lexington Public Library and there are violent crazy homeless people all about & our keratoconus won't allow us to see the screen & we're out of smokes & about to go insane, so please enjoy our latest email to the woman
damn data for every single underpaid, gig economy position there is, now that money is speech, corps. are people, & the XX chromones of the species are babymaking chattel w no rights whatsoever, thanks to the bought & paid for Leonard Leo Koch whores of SCOTUS & all the laws in flyover fiefdoms.
Been damn near impossible to get a job in the last decade, after the advent of SEO criteria, whereby, if you don't hit all 40 keywords somebody wants to fill a shit job with no wages, you go into a black hole and never hear from anyone, despite submitting 100 resumes online and entering all your god
hating Jew Stephen Miller, and white boy Homan from down in the illiberal cripple's Tej-has, harassing, caging, & deporting anyone who dares to speak out against the regressive regime of white men.