No there isn’t Sue. That’s not a match, that’s barely a warm up
Comedian, satirist, writer, actor SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297
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No there isn’t Sue. That’s not a match, that’s barely a warm up
Been out at work all day so thought I’d just check the cricket score. Turns out there isn’t a match today 😬
When your visitor badge looks like it’s calling you a Billy No Mates
Watched Heads Of State - very daft thriller but enjoyably so. Reminded me of the similarly fun White House Down. A clunky moral of the story about the need for global cooperation felt like it was written specifically to persuade Trump - although I doubt he has the attention span for it…
Holy shit
Yes!
We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.
The government's "take the fight to Farage but never in any way criticising any of his stances" thing is going swimmingly, I see.
Thank you Anne!
There was so much more
Damn thumbs
He’s really not drunj
This came after a long and enervating discussion about his attitude to contraception (not in favour) and his attitudes to abortion (not bothered) and having a kid (if it happens it happens). I don’t see a hugely long future for them but I may be wrong…
Sitting next to a couple on the train. The man is fascinatingly stupid. Her: “I’d like to travel” Him: “but what if there were no aeroplanes” Her: “People travelled before aeroplanes” Him: “No they didn’t. They didn’t” Her: “They did!” Him: “The Irishman was a good movie. It was cinema”
We Have AI Now www.youtube.com/shorts/8-lgJ...
Fascists love their martyrs. The cult is always about violent thugs like Horst Wessel.
I think the more worrying possibility is that he’s not really being played - he’s quite happy to be on their side because all he respects is power and dominance
Russia is interested in peace in the same way I’m interested in Taylor Swift’s engagement. Not at all
"Future historians will surely debate at great length whether it was economics or media culture or simple incompetence that led the Starmer government’s moral compass to break. But they surely won’t debate who, out of the Taliban or the people who fled from their regime, were actually the baddies."
Reform MP says they will negotiate with the Taliban.
Great show, we loved it too (even if my friend did arrive a little late 😬) Thanks so much and bring on the tour!
Thanks Edward! Really pleased you liked it!
So I’ve been in Edinburgh for a week and suddenly there’s some story about flags being everywhere? Do I actually have to work out what this is about or is it just some tabloid bullshit?
Lovely crowd today!
Thanks Stu - and Sunny! 😎
2* elephant remained frustrated
Ah what a lovely show to finish with! A nice crowd and I felt like it came together well. Thanks to everyone there and who’s seen the show this week. Very excited to build a few more bits into the show for the tour. But for now: back to London and normal gigs for a couple of weeks…
This puts a few Fringe reviews in perspective. I think “1* did not wank the elephants” might enter my personal lexicon alongside “3* some funny bits” and “Flawless! 3*” as well as the classic “a bag of…good”
Genuinely saw some protesters outside a show this week and couldn’t work out if they were real or not. Either way he was sold out so I guess it worked?
My Edinburgh audiences have really erupted across this week (been respectable for a WIP at 12.50 but not exactly selling out) Just seeing if exaggeration will help my PR
Last day of my @edfringe.bsky.social run today. Another beautiful sunny morning and a great day to come to The Mash House at 12.50 and sit in my nice cool room for an hour of laughs. Last chance! (Until the tour) edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
It’s also a symptom of every cold I’ve ever had. I had a covid vaccine booster a couple of weeks ago so not too worried about that. Sorry to hear you’re suffering.
Well isn’t this bloomin lovely? @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social
I’m sorry but no. Protests and demos with dozens or low hundreds of attendees are not especially newsworthy. I’ve seen larger turnouts at a Warhammer event.
This is excellent and should be taught in schools
Congratulations to @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social for winning the Panel Prize this year! As a regular performer for them (including yesterday when panellists were in) I think I can probably put Edinburgh Comedy Award winner on my poster now, yeah?
I strongly suggest you go along if you can. Matt Green is very good.
Very excited about my tour this Autumn - the show has been going well in Edinburgh and I can’t wait to hit the road in October and November. Tickets available here: www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
Just 2 more shows this Fringe! If you’re around in Edinburgh this morning come along to The Mash House at 12.50 and I’ll see you there! Buy in advance or PWYW on the door… edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
god I hate this I hate this I hate it I hate it, I hate that the mainstream right has gone this mad and racist and radicalised, I hate that no one seems to know how to stop it from getting worse, it worries me so much and I hate it all
Thanks Finn!
Farage is content with allowing people to be murdered and tortured. I'm not on that side and never will be.
Just 2 more shows left at the Fringe and it would be lovely to make them sell outs. If you like stand up and political comedy you’ll enjoy my show - and it’s on at 12.50 so barely clashes with anything! Start your afternoon with some laughs… edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
As usual Jess Robinson’s show is fantastic. A well deserved standing ovation for an absolutely barnstorming performance. Elton John like you’ve never heard him before. It’s not often you see an #edfringe show and immediately want to buy the soundtrack, but this is one of those times!
Really enjoyed closing @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social today - as ever the kids in the crowd were a lot of fun. Particularly enjoyed the goldfish called Mark, the cat called James and a boy who would deal with a squirrel in the house by calling the FBI.
Today’s show was good fun after a quiet start - I think a few people were worried that Geoffrey Geoff-Geoffrey was real at first. But that’s the risk of having a right wing support act! Just 2 more shows in Edinburgh this Fringe! Still some tickets left: edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
This is a great show - grab your tickets if you can!
Colin from Portsmouth on Epping Forest
Have fun!
legitimateconcerns legitimateconcerns legitimateconcerns
Final Friday of the Fringe! I’ve written two new jokes for my show so why not come along and see if they stand out… 12.50, The Mash House. Buy in advance or just turn up and PWYW! See you there! edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
Did Tommy Robinson put together this lead story? Half the British press seems to actively want pogroms
My swear jar is filled with IOFUs
Nord VPN’s new advertising campaign is quite impressive
Thank god they got my request for my green room
The last two days are the first time that I’ve performed my show without an eye infection, and I’ll be honest - I prefer it! Turns out being able to concentrate and not having a constant irritant is actually good for the quality of my work. Antibiotics are great.
💯 I know several people who were stuck in hotels for Covid quarantine and they went stir crazy - and that was just for 2 weeks.
Haha! Thanks for coming to the show and hope you get plenty of steps today…
Show 4 done! A really nice crowd and a very fun show. Was slightly thrown towards the end when I heard a buzzing noise but couldn’t work out what it was. After the show a man admitted it was his Fitbit telling him to move… The robots are trying to sabotage me!
When I was five, learning about Louis Pasteur at school, I was absolutely terrified that if I ever went abroad, I would be bitten by a wild animal and catch Rabies the very second I stepped off the plane. These fears were absolutely *genuine*, but they were not remotely *legitimate*.
Was reminded of this quote from King Lear today - quite tempted to pop it into my show “Legitimate Concerns” at some point just so I feel like my English degree wasn’t entirely wasted. Might need a bit more of a punchline though
Thank Niall! See you then.
Legitimate Concerns?
Beautiful sunny morning in Edinburgh. This might be a good moment to remind you that my venue is air conditioned and nice and cool. It’s also up 3 flights of stairs, but at least it’s not a sweat box…
Thanks! And of course - would love to. It sounds like a really fun project.
That’s 12.50 as in lunchtime, by the way. Someone asked me that yesterday. No I’m not doing a super late night show - I’m not sure it would quite fit me or my audience…
Day 4 of my Edinburgh run today. A lovely morning and very much looking forward to the show. 12.50 at The Mash House - you can buy in advance or PWYW at the end. edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
I don't know about you but I've had about enough of mainstream media & politicians legitimising racist anti-asylum protests that terrorise refugees & communities. I had to push back hard, TWICE on BBC yesterday about supposed "legitimate concerns" www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtkA...
Thanks Rich!
Thanks Peter!
Saw Sharon Wanjohi’s debut show after really enjoying her appearance on Off Menu. She’s a total natural on stage, mischievous and entertaining throughout. The show itself is a bit scattergun but she is undeniably a star for the future and I can’t imagine she’ll be in small rooms for long.
Another joke packed show from Glenn Moore this year from the master of call backs, running jokes and structural cleverness. Reminds me of Harry Hill at times with a relentlessly high hit rate. Great to see him in a big room! Well deserved. #edfringe
Got asked to do a last minute podcast reading with @watsoncomedian.bsky.social - lots of fun and exactly the sort of random thing that makes #edfringe so exciting…
Third show today and possibly my best so far. A lovely crowd and I felt good performing it. My favourite thing was that a couple I’d spoken to when flyering last night turned up. They’d said they couldn’t come because they’d booked a play, but came to see me anyway. IN YOUR FACE, PLAY!
Mob rule.
Obviously the smears against this man are incredibly libellous - and it says a lot about access to the law that he wouldn't be able to afford to Lord McAlpine these fuckers - but at what point does the government clock that it needs to get a grip on this raging online fire of fascist hate?
Show 3 of #edfringe today - tickets still available so if you're around at 12.50pm then come along to The Mash House for an hour of laughs with a political edge. See you then! edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
That would be brilliant thanks!
If you're planning a day in Edinburgh you've got to see Matt. Have a look on YouTube and you'll see why.
Thanks Dougie! I'm also back in Edinburgh on tour on October 13th... www.livenation.co.uk/event/matt-g...
Thanks!
edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/
In a sane world his opponent would give up right now
Not entirely sure which if any of those approaches was the best. Most people ignored me but a few took flyers and some of them seemed to know who I was too. So I guess we'll see over the next few days... #edfringe
Was exit-flyering Matt Forde's audience tonight to try and drum up a few more sales for my show. Tried a few different sales pitches: - More comedy and politics! More satire! More politics from a Matt! More Matt-based comedy! More Matt satire! Funny lunchtime show! Matt show! Comedy? Satire! Me!
Another really fun show from @joznorris.bsky.social this year. Always creative, energetic and fizzing with ideas and mischief. Some absolutely hilarious set pieces and a general sense of the unexpected throughout. If you like silliness with heart then check him out.
I listened to it when it first started and it was fine - then they got some traction on the right and the rest is history!
Top tips on how to do budgets right
Weird to think that almost everyone in UK comedy is now 2 degrees of separation from a war criminal
Really enjoyed Ted Hill’s 110% Normal show at #edfringe. Creative and silly hi tech fun with a poignant subtext and lots of really good jokes. Reminiscent at times of Mat Ewins, which is high praise from me indeed.
Trump definitely thinks a tonne of rocks is heavier than a tonne of feathers
Macron presumably thinking about Versailles- and what happened to the people who lived there
I suppose the question is at what point do you just give up trying to parody this stuff?
This would actually be an amazing idea for a satirical film. Paging @jessearmstrong.bsky.social
Thanks to everyone who made it to my second show today! Another fun one and I even remembered some of the bits I forgot yesterday (although undoubtedly forgot other bits too). The show is in a really good state now so do come along if you’re at the Fringe! 12.50 at the Mash House…
According to 2 weather apps there is currently a 0% chance of rain all day in Edinburgh. Which makes the water falling from the sky rather confusing
I think it's because I use green screen so it looks maybe slightly CGI-d - but the fact that people can't distinguish between green screen and AI generated is concerning!
I get that on my sketch videos quite a lot - "Is this AI?" As though my face is somehow in the uncanny valley
My second show at @edfringe.bsky.social is today at 12.50 at The Mash House. The first one was loads of fun and I've worked on some new bits this morning so today will be even better. Tickets available here edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/ Or you can PWYW on the door. See you there!
that was a particular highlight for me too!