Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) / Redsky

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

…it hurts

2/9/2025, 4:30:24 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

I’m starting to wonder about my dentist. I don’t think a prostate exam is really necessary at EVERY tooth cleaning

2/9/2025, 3:50:15 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Unsolicited ones.

2/9/2025, 2:30:53 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Satan (@thedevil.bsky.social) reposted

2/9/2025, 6:37:36 AM | 1090 120 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Those dead eyes are piercing thru me

2/9/2025, 1:41:21 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

My eyes are getting sore

2/9/2025, 1:39:35 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

He’s saying he has a petite bone…?

2/9/2025, 1:35:28 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

✊🏼

2/9/2025, 12:36:07 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

No, it’s a trap!

1/9/2025, 7:37:21 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That sunlight traveled 92 million miles just to burn you ⛅️

1/9/2025, 6:32:58 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

rax ‘levon honkers’ king (@raxkingisdead.bsky.social) reposted

few songs go less hard than our national anthem just the opposite of a banger in every way

1/9/2025, 2:23:05 PM | 366 20 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

My water bed may have sprung a leak but at least the water sofa and water recliner are holding up…

30/8/2025, 2:56:23 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Ah shit, you beat me to it. That’s it I’m all out of jokes for the week

30/8/2025, 11:53:19 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Moama Mia!

30/8/2025, 11:52:21 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Yeah, bro. I thump these plums too. (Sorry I had to)

30/8/2025, 11:50:54 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

✊🏼 hell yeah

30/8/2025, 11:46:34 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

I just want multiplayer Katamari where the winning roll can collect the losing one if the size difference is great enough.

27/8/2025, 5:14:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m the best at losing. No one loses better than me!

27/8/2025, 5:13:19 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

“Me? Unemployed? Nah, I’m my OWN boss. I gave myself some time off. For the last 4 years”

26/8/2025, 1:07:10 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Surely he can explain lesbian couples if he can explain some of his old lyrics. What a lazy excuse…

25/8/2025, 12:39:39 AM | 12 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

Et tu, Snoop?

25/8/2025, 12:38:01 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

born miserable (@bornmiserable.bsky.social) reposted

BREAKING: Snoop Dogg Locks Car Doors Immediately After Entering Lesbian Neighborhood

25/8/2025, 12:24:20 AM | 629 93 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I hope this doesn’t radicalize me

24/8/2025, 5:20:12 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

No but I might!

24/8/2025, 2:49:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

I don’t know if I want to be THIS informed

24/8/2025, 2:56:23 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Barbara Neuhoff (@barbaraneuhoff.bsky.social) reposted

Neil deGrass Tyson: "How sad it must be believing that scientists, historians, scholars, economists, journalists devoted their entire lives to deceiving you, but a reality-TV star proven in court to be a lying felon is your beacon of truth & honesty"

23/8/2025, 4:26:03 PM | 18256 5429 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I think i’ll open one in my old barn

23/8/2025, 10:58:36 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

You were too OP

23/8/2025, 10:58:13 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

🇨🇦Greg Stefan🇨🇦 (@ih8handles.bsky.social) reposted

🤔

22/8/2025, 5:02:22 AM | 22123 4966 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I love it so much

22/8/2025, 2:46:35 AM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

When I’m ready. Smart.

20/8/2025, 7:37:22 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Show us pls thx

20/8/2025, 4:28:10 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Sometimes her face looks like my voice sounds on whippets

20/8/2025, 10:09:11 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Do a bad job on purpose. That’ll show em

20/8/2025, 10:07:20 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

You got 10 brushes?! Show off

20/8/2025, 10:06:15 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

When the artist shows up with their own brush you let them paint with it

20/8/2025, 12:45:28 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

God (@thegodpodcast.com) reposted

Today he forgot the name of the Pacific Ocean.

19/8/2025, 11:42:23 PM | 7909 1306 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I feel that. And eventually I will lol

19/8/2025, 11:49:05 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s a chocolate gun

19/8/2025, 11:48:18 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Did someone say steroids?

19/8/2025, 10:25:32 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s killing me too but thank you for the ones you do save.

19/8/2025, 1:56:28 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

lol gotta start at the prostate I guess 🤷🏼‍♂️

18/8/2025, 1:50:37 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

But does being a loser make me lose?! I must know…

18/8/2025, 10:11:39 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

And I’m afraid it’s terminal

18/8/2025, 9:53:24 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

All-in on Beanie Babies. They’re coming back!! You’ll see

18/8/2025, 1:28:09 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

So it’s the usual from Russia then?

17/8/2025, 10:54:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That is way better than what I said

17/8/2025, 1:40:04 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

Fireflies are just tiny flying glow sticks and I love it for them

17/8/2025, 10:54:52 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

Spooky Vaginosis

17/8/2025, 1:27:43 AM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

“If you’re Catholic that’s concentrated sin coming out the back of you”

17/8/2025, 1:27:32 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

17/8/2025, 12:06:21 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

You morphed when you shoulda Morbed

16/8/2025, 2:12:48 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

“Summit”

16/8/2025, 12:25:39 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Damn skippy

16/8/2025, 12:25:11 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

He doesn’t read so that would likely work!

15/8/2025, 3:22:28 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Mira of Kyiv 🇺🇦 (@reshetz.bsky.social) reposted

Alaska I wasn’t familiar with your game

15/8/2025, 8:43:12 AM | 6162 1315 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

“Oh are you in a professional setting?”TITS

15/8/2025, 3:11:13 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Syrup (@extremesyrup.bsky.social) reposted

Oh so while I'm at work this app shows me NSFW accounts, but now that I'm in bed it's all politics and Big Brother spoilers (my fault I know). smh you win this round God

15/8/2025, 2:16:44 AM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

me when it’s a “school zone” on a Highway but the school is a mile away and children aren’t walking on the highway

14/8/2025, 3:04:22 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I do words good when no one is listening

14/8/2025, 1:14:54 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

The first 9 beers are rough but then they get easier

14/8/2025, 2:21:43 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That figures. I laugh at juvenile shit.

13/8/2025, 2:58:32 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

You’re testing us? What are we, lab rats? What’s next?

13/8/2025, 12:20:30 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I now have a hankering to rewatch SuckerPunch and also Tank Girl. It doesn’t have to be a great movie to be a fun movie 🍿 🤓

13/8/2025, 12:19:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I love that little shoe! That scene traumatized child me

13/8/2025, 11:45:35 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

It entertained me but I haven’t felt the urge to rewatch it. Well not until right now

12/8/2025, 11:04:31 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

“Cozy forest game” and “blair witch” in the same breath? Ok I’m down

12/8/2025, 11:01:07 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

So school didn’t teach me basic finances but at least I learned that a mitochondria is the power bottom of the cell

11/8/2025, 7:56:53 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social)

Maybe this motorcycle will cure my vertigo?

11/8/2025, 1:25:22 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey go write that book

10/8/2025, 8:16:01 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Schfourteen-teen.

9/8/2025, 1:53:16 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey, some of us want both!

8/8/2025, 9:30:39 PM | 4 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Clankers

8/8/2025, 8:55:01 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

There’s a cutscene playing outside

8/8/2025, 2:35:53 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Can it kick me in the plums?! CAN IT

8/8/2025, 2:34:48 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Hell yeah, Bill Burr sucks!!

8/8/2025, 1:53:59 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Of course, I’m not a monster!

8/8/2025, 1:28:31 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

No……..yes…. Take a week off kiddo

8/8/2025, 1:17:52 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I do this

8/8/2025, 1:11:18 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Rick Benavidez (@rickbenavidez.com) reposted

Et tu, Tim Apple?

6/8/2025, 11:09:58 PM | 281 42 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Hot brown

6/8/2025, 3:27:22 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I think I hear my dad calling me…!

6/8/2025, 1:03:14 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh well YEAH

5/8/2025, 9:03:49 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I have these words hanging on our living room wall

5/8/2025, 8:07:21 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

SpatialKimtamine (@kimmalien.bsky.social) reposted

Men will literally cum on anything

5/8/2025, 2:37:47 AM | 280 46 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

What in the wizarding world of sports….

5/8/2025, 8:02:31 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Don’t forget FB already requiring ID checks at every possible excuse they can find

5/8/2025, 7:05:41 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Kohler if you don’t mind spending a little more up front to save money in the long run on maintenance/repairs.

5/8/2025, 5:28:36 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

No one likes a surprise Inspector Gadget

5/8/2025, 2:16:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

alexis simpson (@amutepiggy.bsky.social) reposted

oh sure when i reanimate the dead it's "an affront to God and all that is human" but when jim acosta does it, it's news

4/8/2025, 9:47:01 PM | 373 42 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

That’s fucking hilarious

4/8/2025, 10:46:21 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

If this is the best God can do I’m not impressed

4/8/2025, 10:45:02 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Kat Abughazaleh (@katmabu.bsky.social) reposted

Wanna help the campaign for free? Share this video or come to any of the events linked underneath it!

4/8/2025, 7:21:10 PM | 1025 400 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

I want this in my mouth

4/8/2025, 12:59:54 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Syrup (@extremesyrup.bsky.social) reposted

Am I social mediaing correctly?

4/8/2025, 12:20:39 AM | 1 1 | View on Bluesky | view

alexis simpson (@amutepiggy.bsky.social) reposted

i'm the GOAT of laying down

3/8/2025, 7:38:21 PM | 112 13 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

You got me there!

4/8/2025, 12:24:15 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Nobody knows

4/8/2025, 12:21:34 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky (@mettleundertension.bsky.social) reply parent

Well you’re here and I’m here so….any moment now some folks will show up

3/8/2025, 1:33:21 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Guy Pistofsky

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