Die Hard with a vengeance works so much better because we see Greene griping about what a piece of shit John McLane is BEFORE we see John McLane
Die Hard with a vengeance works so much better because we see Greene griping about what a piece of shit John McLane is BEFORE we see John McLane
That scene with the snake is baaaaaananas
one of the greats. highly recommended Clearcut (apparently Greene's favourite of his own filmography), a gripping and angry political thriller about the conflict between an indigenous community and a logging company.
Press conferences are just gonna be screenings of the time he showed up on Fresh Prince
Me, from the back: triarchy! Everyone: god just shut the fuck up already Me, banging table: TRIARCHY!!
I saw Clear Cut last year and WOW that guy could sneak up on you with maniac energy
That episode of 90210 where the gang meets an old guy played by Milton Berle and thinks he’s funny but later finds out he has dementia and is incontinent
I think he’s 90% of the reason why die hard with a vengeance works, he brings the perfect tone of what it would be like to be a cop around McLane
The only die hard actor who is believably cooler and tougher than John McLane. Also if you’ve never seen clear cut he is INSANE in that
Man. Always a standout.
I wonder if they’re going to have to goodbye Lenin him and make the White House look like it’s in 1980s Manhattan
Think about it. "Dems were too zealous in trying to prevent the spread of the virus" is, in US politics, a greater disadvantage, a bigger problem, than "Republican lies got hundreds of thousands of Americans killed for no reason." Just a pathetic fucking country. Pathetic.
I never would’ve had the courage to apply to the Onion if you guys hadn’t been such a great presence here on bluesky, thanks!
Yeah damn the government telling us not to work so we can recognize the importance of labor solidarity
… people say that?
Every day I login and see how few people are following me, the best poster, and sadly shake my head
I kept waiting for Emily Oster to just admit “I am comfortable with teachers dying if it means my kids aren’t bothering me on work calls”
“The world needs more dumb goofs” (I rise triumphantly)
The evidence is clear. Trumps golf club employs vampires.
Also one of them is a vampire, that seems poor opsec
Gonna create a new terror movement and name it Blippi
Like Mike Myers does this too with Wayne’s world and Austin powers but the difference is Adam McKay hates you and thinks you should be grateful for his amazing jokes
I’d actually argue that, while I don’t like Zoolander that much, it’s a movie that tries to have fun with the audience while anchorman is more a bunch of dudes joking to each other and assuming you’ll love it too
Bernie was so not dead he was able to host multiple parties all weekend with his two best friends
I’m with your son, my grouchiest comedy take is that Anchorman sucks
Top secret, wet hit American summer, walk hard and Popstar should be home runs
Why else would Luke Evans appear at the end saying “bleeeeehhhhh I’m putting a a SCREAM together BLEEEEHHHHHH!!!”
Here’s to our sci-fi union heroes
Miles O'Brien fan club assemble.
Smithsonian Acquires Rare Photograph Where Whole Family Looks Really Nice https://theonion.com/smithsonian-acquires-rare-photograph-where-whole-family-1819579187/
“The Raid but on a—“ Stop. You’ve already got me.
Noah, learning about asexual reproduction: this is fantastic for my bottom line
I’m remembering a sleepover when I was 11 years old and we watched the “ I like them teeny and toasty“ scene 5000 times
The Cracker Barrel logo was turning your kids black and gay. Now look at them.
I mean Picard was ok with his girlfriend leaving to do scams with a space god
Keep in mind too like half of that fuckin ship was incels. Geordi made a hologram of a real person to kiss, Barclay did that with everyone, Picard doesn’t know what a vagina is, Worf went on to join the Taliban because his girlfriend wore a swimsuit, Riker is the one guy to keep his shit together
In a world of Barclays…
Hey cha cha, these transplants make Robert Moses zoning policies look like actual Moses’s golden calf policies amirite
You know, Internet manners, like block from the right, dunk from the left
wHY WouLDnt YOu wANt tHE prESIdeNTs heLP
Great DC spirit news from @totalvibration.bsky.social and @maustermuhle.bsky.social
The cultural symbol that is D.C.’s Sandwich Guy has made it to the Washington Spirit game today. (Read all about the new folk hero here: 51st.news/the-subrisin...)
The Académie Française pushing to replace watersport with "control of the piss" was not on my bingo card for today.
I just rolled a strike in four spares while holding a baby who is trying to eat my nose. We are not the same.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt less tense than that dumb drawn out scene of measuring the peoples temperature
That movie had one (1) good scene with the zombie showgirls and the rest was absolute garbage
Not to mention songs with titles like “closer like an animal - tool.mp3”
I remember simultaneously liking horns and also thinking it had some of the cringiest lines I’ve ever read
🤦 www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
This is communism. If this is all you aspire to – fuck off
Considering the number of nights I was absolutely hammered in kochi and ended up OK this God is the real deal
KOCHI SHI MENTIONED LETS YOSAKOI MOTHERFUCKERS
Was cleaning the bathroom and before I could stop myself muttered “ooh scrub me daddy”
Raddatz asks how anyone could object to the National Guard in DC because carjackings are down 87%. Brilliant. If they hermetically sealed all DC residents inside their homes, they could get that stat down to nothing at all. Should we do that, Martha?
Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival
General showing map to the president: we suspect Minnesotas are plotting across the globe
Just saw this TikTok from someone in DC.
Is this the character who says the inventor of crazy glue went crazy and had his hands bound with crazy glue?
What? Rapport? Do you mean ripore?
He did anti-union videos for reason magazine!
What is this
This was…really good
Zangief:
This is the craziest dating app tagline I’ve ever seen
I mean that didn’t work for Al Gore
I just don’t understand this, even when Trump was popular everybody hated Vance. What path does he think he has?
I could do better. You don’t know me.
Nutritionists Warn Taco Bell $3 Steak Burrito A $3 Steak Burrito https://theonion.com/nutritionists-warn-taco-bell-3-steak-burrito-a-3-steak-burrito/
Boss: for security reasons we will be banning the use of smart glasses in the office Me, with evil eyeball alien controlling my brain: well yeah that’s just common sense
“ why aren’t people doing stupid unpopular stuff like my dumb brother is doing?”
I dunno Trump looks fine to me
Hell yeah baby the game that introduced me to Rahzel
lev grossmans book about King Arthur, The Bright Sword, is a great dive into this idea too
He brings the exact wacky unhinged energy this movie thrives on
In high school my friend walked into the Taco Bell drive-through making motor noises and when the intercom clicked on he said “can I get a butt?“ and ran away. I want that economy back.
Was Robin Williams as the genie the first big star to do a voice?
“ The killer hid the weapon where no one would ever find it, in the optional reading”
lol the person in the screenshotted post just blocked me for saying that pushing someone in a lake is not murder
If no one has seen this standup special it is brilliant
Ohhhhh man that thread gets fun when they’re like “pushing him in the water is murder”
lol getting pushed in a lake is murder now
I always used the term “ugly babies.” Like yeah I know my baby is ugly, but I’ll always love them
Plus he can carry a stick
Also when someone says “Ghostwriter!” You add “WORD!”
Those courts don’t observe themselves
I don’t know, my life was measurably better after learning he made a hologram of Kim Kardashian‘s dad so it could tell her how great Kanye is
Honestly my favorite scene is when they’re getting ghostwriter ready for a fight so they cut out a bunch of words like “strong” and “powerful” and “stout” for him to read as a pep talk
Oh man it would have made me buuuuurning mad, steeeeeeeaming mad!!!
Also because…Rock was being an asshole with a lame joke
I'm a brainfruiter!
These are not hard problems to solve, people
It only becomes simple once you see the true path
I would simply have a gun and make a big fart noise whenever you shot it and then everyone would be like “hey look that dude who just shot that guy farted, gross” and you’d never shoot anyone again
