The Gary of Notre Dam Steven King’s Gary Gary’s List The Gary Mile Gary and Prejudice
Part of The Circle, a secret organization that has been running the internet since 2000. I AM the woke mind virus.
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The Gary of Notre Dam Steven King’s Gary Gary’s List The Gary Mile Gary and Prejudice
Prohibito El Enema de Blowhole
I'm sorry, but genetic engineering is getting out of hand.
The squirrel used to live at a fraternity house, it’s seen too many keg stands
The dude on the bus was telling me all about his “cool AI chatbot” he “uses for everything” and I kept giving him non-verbal cues that I didn’t care, but he just WAS NOT picking up on them, so I said “This conversation has reached its maximum length and you are out of tokens.” and switched seats.
We thought it was the OTHER Charlie. You know the one.
I live in Portland. Charlie is a lying asshole. Don’t get involved with Charlie.
CEO Has Big Ideas To Grow Company’s Problems https://theonion.com/ceo-has-big-ideas-to-grow-company-s-problems-1819578259/
Look it’s a metaphor for America
She lets you eat first?! Cake would never hear of this. I don’t even get to have coffee before opening her breakfast gravy! 🤣
I can’t take ‘im like that! ‘Sgainst regulations!
AP: “Florida could be on the hook for $218 million… Alligator Alcatraz may soon be completely empty as a judge upheld her decision late Wednesday ordering operations to wind down indefinitely…” apnews.com/article/flor...
Unable to resist shooting Apache degeeri, as always ♥️ #InverteFest
#MSH45 | Aug. 1980 On a mid-August afternoon, a helicopter settles onto the Pumice Plain—the dead north slope of Mount St. Helens, buried by avalanche, seared by pyroclastic flows. Out steps USGS volcanologist Dan Miller, 37. His goal? Cook a 50-lb pig in the ash.
Ungrateful yellow jackets! After y’all been trying to get people to declare a truce with them!
If anyone is an artist and wants to make a Crusty Gnome political cartoon, please feel free. I would, but I can’t draw for shit and don’t want to hurt real artists by using AI to do it. If it makes a bunch of money, don’t send it to me, donate it to housing programs for homeless in SE Portland.
Please! Use it frequently! 😁
JD Vance Asks National Guard Member If He Can Touch Gun https://theonion.com/jd-vance-asks-national-guard-member-if-he-can-touch-gun/
As Trump’s health declines, he seems completely preoccupied with his likelihood of reaching Heaven. Guess what, Donny? It’s too late for you. On the bright side, you’ll spend eternity with your best friend, Jeffrey Epstein.
GOP: why don’t we have colonies on Mars yet?! Also GOP: we are cutting all funding for science that doesn’t involve blowing another country off the gottdam map.
Crusty Gnome is always good for a dumbass sound clip.
How does lava sound when it comes to the surface of the Earth? Listen to a lava flow oozing out of its effusive vent high on the southwestern side of #Etna, 28 August 2025. That day no visits by tourists were allowed on the site, which permitted this (relatively) clean recording
bsky.app/profile/tony...
Pay them to leave? Well genocide is a COST SAVINGS then, so that makes it ok, right?
Is there a number for homeless dog rescue? There’s a camp on the corner (which is not unusual) but they have locked a dog in an RV for 2 days and it won’t stop barking. I haven’t seen anyone let it out to use the bathroom or anything. I’m worried it’s going to die.
“Help me!”
“Uh… just a minute!” Quick, hide the War Crimes!
No matter what @MarshaBlackburn keeps saying, it’s not criminals they’re targeting. www.cnn.com/2025/08/30/u...
I remember those guys! They have no sense of humor.
And the tech community and… the country
Maybe his Democratic Replacement will.
It’s 8:49am but who am I to argue with the Captain? Salud!
So good
But the gap is telling me to do bad things!
Headline: Just Dumb Vance tries desperately to get people to notice him.
Spotify is a horrible piece of garbage anyway. There are so many better audio streaming services out there.
Trans people never stole the entire Social Security database and put every American at risk by uploading their personal information to an unsecure server. But Trump and Elon Musk sure did.
“A 14% price increase” When Trump & @MarshaBlackburn tell you there has been no inflation, they’re lying
The "Ghosts of Vezio Castle" in Lake Como are moulded off tourists who agree to have white gauze and chalk fitted to them. The sculptures are then left to the elements, where they erode. When a new season begins, the ghosts are cast anew.
Maybe instead of reading an AI recap of the meeting, they could, I dunno… Pay attention in the meeting?
I was having a meeting about data security and said “No matter what, we absolutely must NOT do X” and at the end of the meeting someone’s Otter AI Notetaker spit out meeting notes and one of the Action Items was - We absolutely must do X So I banned AI notetakers from meetings.
sorry, could not resist ^^ #spirk #startrek
Is there an onlyfans link, or…
Uh oh
I used to date a girl who loved Organza Blouses & I (of course) called them Orgasm Blouses & eventually we just shortened it to O. She washed a bunch of red Os just before we stopped seeing each other & I couldn’t help but reminisce about afterwards when I was drying clothes and saw the red O lint.
imagine being so maniacally racist that you side with the fire over the firefighter
That guy in Pink shirt looks like my cousin before he blew his dick and left leg off cleaning a gun without unloading it first.
I am scheduled for one tomorrow
Looks good!
If you’re a news broadcaster and you HAVE NOT been threatened by this administration then you are NOT DOING YOUR JOB. start reporting truth, not party lines.
Back in 1946, the KKK was trying to make a major comeback after World War II. Enter Superman — the Man of Steel exposed their secrets and took them down in his radio show. I asked Rick Bowers, author of Superman vs the Ku Klux Klan, what we can learn from this today buttondown.com/charliejane/...
New Quinnipiac Poll — 50% of voters say Israel is committing genocide in Gaza. Includes *77%* of Democrats, 51% of Independents, and 20% of Republicans. 60% of voters oppose sending more military aid to Israel. Includes 75% of Democrats, 66% of Independents, and 37% of Republicans.
23 years ago I became an atheist. I have never once missed being a Christian. Until now. The fact that I don’t believe Pedo Donny will burn in hell for all eternity is a loss. I’d love to believe he’d get what he deserves. But I don’t and so we have to see that he’s punished by man’s law instead.
Oh well that’s what happens when you hire 19 year old NeoNazis named BogBalls or whatever.
Good morning — Today would be a good day to release the Epstein files
I signed. I am a member of the National Academy of Medicine, but more importantly, I am someone who cares about my health and the health of my fellow human beings. Sign! Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho RFK, Jr. has got to go...
“While I do my little thing on the catwalk. I’m too sexy for my fur, too sexy for my fur, too sexy for sure.”
If 30 years ago, you had written down the shit that Pedo Donny, Worms For Brains, and Crusty Gnome said and published it as a novel people would have told you it was too stupid to be anywhere near the truth. “There’s no way the people in charge could EVER be this fucking moronic!” they would say.
The blades hit them as they fly through the air.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know what windmills or whales are. The worm ate that part of his brain.
There were no radioactive spiders handy, How else are you gonna get superpowers?
I don’t know what’s dying faster irony or democracy.
Wanna see a nood pic? Here you go. From Frank’s Noodles.
“An imaginary conversation” @govwesmoore.bsky.social confirms to @briantylercohen.bsky.social that Trump’s claim that Moore told him privately he’s the “greatest president in my lifetime” was a hilariously transparent lie 🤥 (H/T @marcofoster.bsky.social )
I had to disable Eco+ on my thermostat. With PGE controlling my thermostat I used 17% MORE power yesterday than on hotter days when I manually controlled it. I can’t afford the higher bills and don’t want to waste electricity.
Mine is a vampire. I have cameras covering ever square inch of the property. I got an “Attempted delivery” but nobody showed up on any camera all morning! Obviously a vampire!
To Donald Trump and his administration: If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me — not time or political circumstance — from making sure you face justice under our constitutional rule of law.
Working on rebranding America because of Truth In Branding laws. Which do y’all like? 1) America: Freedom Was Overrated Anyway 2) America: Finally a Third World Country for English Speakers! 3) America: *blinks Morse code for SOS while flatly reciting* We Love Great Leader! 4) America: 1776-2025
"You will never find justice in a world where CRIMINALS make the law." Bob Marley
No, they said EPSTEIN FILES and called you a dickhead. You’re just confused because you probably have dementia and you refuse to believe that even Red states can’t stand your fascist ass anymore. SAD. Step down and stop embarrassing yourself TACO.
Man I really hate living in Trumpsucksistan. I miss America and freedom and being able to afford luxuries like food and shelter.
I put up a new website at 3pm. It’s not linked to from ANYWHERE because I’m not finished building it yet. It’s just a login page. OpenAI GPTbot has already been trying to crawl it. I’m seeing all the 401s in the logs as I troubleshoot.
Texas Instruments TI-99/4A Then a Commodore C64. Ours was in the basement. A pipe broke above it. I poured a few gallons of water out of it and the monitor and the printer and then let them dry out and put a new ribbon on the printer and it all worked. I was AMAZED.
I know you, Chicago — and I know you’re up to the difficult time we have ahead, thanks to this President.
Tell Congress: Protect our use of voting by mail actionnetwork.org/letters/tell...
When others are banning books, we’re giving them away for free. Through @aft.org’s #ReadingOpensTheWorld campaign, we’ve put more than 10 million books into the hands of kids and families, because every child deserves the joy of reading. www.aft.org/read
Remember before Trump, when if you saw a grocery store charging $100 for a steak it was Japanese A5 Wagyu instead of a small gristly USDA Choice sirloin?
What about when they are retired? Because that’s how they are officially supposed to be disposed of (there’s supposed to be no touching the ground during burning though)
Damn it! I just saw a squirrel try to walk across my hammock in the back yard (it has wooden poles at the ends so it stays open) and it got wobbly, the squirrel overcompensated and got tossed out on his tail. And I knew it was going to happen but didn’t have my phone with me.
According to many == I made this up while rage tweeting from the toilet
Hey, Portland, I'll be at Powell's in the B word on October 24! In convo with Wicked Plants author Amy Stewart for the trade paperback release of Absolution! www.powells.com/events/jeff-...
bsky.app/profile/kras...
The evangelical loophole to that I was taught is “well if I was a sinner and going to hell, I’d certainly want someone to straighten ME out! So I’m not doing anything bad when I try to make him believe like me.” This is one of the many reasons I’m now an atheist. 😁
I mean why stop at glasses? You still have to put on pants. Nobody wants that. My new VibeBot will LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU so you can sit at home and drool on your phone screen or hey why not just get a tablet since you are never leaving the house or thinking again! VibeBot: For when you’ve give up.
People are saying Cuomo could never pull the type of crowds that @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social is getting at his Scavenger Hunt, but that is UNTRUE! If Cuomo set up a booth to let people kick him in the junk, there would be a line all the way to Philly. 🤣
Remember not being embarrassed to be an American?
Can folks do me a favor? I was on Bluesky early & it was great. Mostly. I hit the eject button in January. I came back, many colleagues are here, but still don’t know I am. I co-created Halt and Catch Fire. I write TV & comics. Here’s two favorite set photos. Repost? I am in the wilderness.
Halt & Catch Fire was great. Excellent work!
Water? Oh. I put out shots of whiskey. The squirrels are drunk as hell. They really enjoyed the bar nuts though.
Remember being able to afford groceries?
Trump Always Chickens Out
Arrested for filming it. And look how excited they all are to get some *action*. 🇺🇸 Watch fascism work.
One of my favourite things about torcs, is that the word comes from the Latin word torquere (tor-kwe-ray) meaning twist, bend or torture. This is also where we get the word 'queer'. So even in its origin, queer meant twisted and wrong, as well as something shiny and fabulous.
They want us fighting so we never notice who is stealing from us all. Don’t get lost in the circus.
reposted this today because the inverse is also true: if you abandon trans people right now, you are abandoning civil rights period. if you can't stand up for trans people when it matters, no one should, or will, ever trust you when the bullseye moves to the next target.
🔥 CHICAGO MAYOR BRANDON JOHNSON: "We're not gonna surrender our humanity to this tyrant… Chicago has a long history of standing up against tyranny-- resisting those who wish to undermine the interests of working people. We're not gonna back down.”
Remember before Trump when the mail worked and you could still get packages? 📦
“If people refuse to talk to you because you’re a tool, Halo will use the images it captured to create a virtual AI avatar of them that you can converse with! It will tell you that you are smart and pretty and not an asshole at all!”
“I was r*ped sometimes 3 times a day on that island… and I was not the only girl on that island… Ghislaine must die in prison, because I’ve been in hell and back for the last 17 years.” Listen to the survivors.