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Travis Klempan

@travisklempan.bsky.social

Author of HAVE SNAKES, NEED BIRDS (Koehler Books) and HILLS HIDE MOUNTAINS (MilSpeak Books)

created October 11, 2023

172 followers 70 following 1,724 posts

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Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“The Best Years of Our Lives” got it pretty well for a film released immediately post-war (even some of the mental health stuff).

2/9/2025, 2:27:02 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

“Oh so you’re a cop” is flagged by Nextdoor as “similar to other offensive content.”

2/9/2025, 1:57:59 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Trying to imagine how addled my brain would have to be to use a gif to explain something to someone in the real world.

2/9/2025, 1:10:52 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Deputized by the president” made me audibly chortle

2/9/2025, 1:06:34 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Surely seven people wouldn’t all be dumb, would they?”

2/9/2025, 1:05:50 PM | 73 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Me, in my VETERAN hat, with my twelve squawling brats in tow, glaring at the TSA agent for not bowing when I present my ID card and for preventing me from carrying my jug o’ water through the line: “Whaddaya mean ‘3 ounces or less’? This is ‘murika, use ‘pounds’ or go back to Commie Europe!”

2/9/2025, 12:58:47 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

LinkedIn and Nextdoor never fail to deliver unhinged content. LI: CEO suggests AI is good because it lets us use our brains less. Includes an image with absolutely zero context. ND: travel agent makes case for using a human to book your trips, uses AI to write her post for her.

2/9/2025, 11:54:35 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Always nice to see a reputable outfit like WotR take time to publish even the dumber opinions out there.

2/9/2025, 11:36:34 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

At least if the connection is lost, Grok or whatever wouldn’t offer some stupid suggestion. “Try using mortars against your enemy’s airplanes. Then ask your combat engineers to dig rabbit holes because rabbits breed prolifically. I’m sorry, you’re right, this isn’t helpful.”

2/9/2025, 11:35:33 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

There’s also the fact that Boromir didn’t fight the Uruk Hai thinking “Ah I’ll give them a jolly ruse and draw their eyes away from Frodo and the Ring,” he just fought them to defend Merry and Pippin because that’s what he had to do as a warrior and friend. Denethor would never.

2/9/2025, 11:32:14 AM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

You don’t get to whine about “constructive dialogue” if you’re not offering anything worth talking about constructively.

2/9/2025, 3:57:31 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“They treated my friend Bill Bellachurk very poorly.”

2/9/2025, 3:55:18 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

No fucking shit

2/9/2025, 3:06:08 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

2/9/2025, 3:05:22 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

He took time away from his day job to respond to me but it still sucked.

2/9/2025, 2:56:56 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Maybe James Dobson was just warming the place up for the next guy.

2/9/2025, 2:37:39 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“I admit that I, too, was a tad curious.”

2/9/2025, 2:37:11 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Pair it with shorts over sweatpants and you’ve got the makings of a 1980s bully.

2/9/2025, 2:14:42 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Hellyer? More like hell yeah.” Or vice versa.

2/9/2025, 1:50:38 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“USA Today opinion columnist-“ Okay gonna stop you right there.

2/9/2025, 1:49:42 AM | 13 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

My son and I were among the last people at the pool on this, the last day of our outdoor public pool being open for the season.

2/9/2025, 12:06:46 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

CGs used to have them aboard (when they carried nuclear TLAMs), so maybe they could fit them. LCS might have the room but that would be a bad idea. DDGs and CGs can land/launch something bigger than a -60.

1/9/2025, 11:58:42 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Bring back MARDETs on cruisers!” (Had to quibble though with moving two 13-Marine squads ashore with a DDG’s embarked MH-60. That’s not exactly feasible, I think.)

1/9/2025, 11:42:57 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Small world. Our ship had a permanent list from the mine hit.

1/9/2025, 9:53:36 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Thanks for taking time away from your day job to personally engage.

1/9/2025, 4:55:03 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Deniz Opal (@selzero.bsky.social) reposted

Fuck social media read books
1/9/2025, 10:45:00 AM | 14467 2244 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Pill the Bony

1/9/2025, 4:49:24 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Constructive dialogue” is a two-way street, bub. It needs something worthwhile to constructively engage. In its absence you get dunks. Or in your case, dunked on.

1/9/2025, 4:37:26 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Scott Whitmore (@scottwhitmore.bsky.social) reposted

Read this. I also want everyone to read "The Surge"

1/9/2025, 4:13:58 PM | 2 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Okay he’s definitely still alive (in the technical sense of the word).

1/9/2025, 4:11:09 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Nash Is Here for It (@nashishereforit.bsky.social) reposted

The National Guardners

image
1/9/2025, 2:14:00 PM | 9413 2548 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

1/9/2025, 3:49:23 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Adam Kovac (@boondock60mm.bsky.social) reposted

"But a book like The Surge – that might stand the test of our time, at least, if enough people read it. I want people to read it. They need to read it. How can I make them read it?" Thanks @travisklempan.bsky.social for this fabulous review. www.wrath-bearingtree.com/2025/09/01/n...

1/9/2025, 3:29:42 PM | 4 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

I have a review of THE SURGE by Adam Kovac @boondock60mm.bsky.social out in Wrath-Bearing Tree today. Get yourself a copy (of the book and the journal) and read it. www.wrath-bearingtree.com/2025/09/01/n...

1/9/2025, 3:24:01 PM | 3 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Honestly the most compelling piece of evidence I’ve seen so far for the “all the assembled ghouls are taking turns using his phone” theory.

1/9/2025, 3:06:01 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

That one guy in every MFA workshop:

1/9/2025, 3:04:24 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Kid’s first words were “Sell the team.”

1/9/2025, 3:02:40 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Good night, America. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill some more of you in the morning.”

1/9/2025, 3:11:56 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“But where does the ‘magic’ happen? (Wink)” “In here.” (Opens a replica hatch from the Titan submersible, inside is a full auditorium with a magician on stage)

1/9/2025, 2:21:01 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

I thought that kind of internet had been taken from us. Must be a relic from the Before Times.

1/9/2025, 2:19:41 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Gotta be some sort of sex worker thing

1/9/2025, 2:19:16 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Dude wears “shoes” inside, immediate fail

1/9/2025, 2:18:10 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Simon HB (@norock.bsky.social) reposted

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

BBC News headline: Frankenstein is monster success at Venice film festival
31/8/2025, 12:07:55 PM | 24441 4597 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

The whole thing would have gone more smoothly but Rudy kept saying to call 9/11 instead of 9-1-1.

1/9/2025, 1:19:19 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Weird thing to claim

31/8/2025, 3:52:25 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Her barbaric yawp confirms she contains multitudes

31/8/2025, 2:27:02 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

I’ve been in the market for a new team to follow (since the Rockies are, have been, and will be garbage). Are the Mariners worth it?

31/8/2025, 2:26:38 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

31/8/2025, 2:24:25 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

This makes me so nostalgic I need to reach for some Kleenex

30/8/2025, 10:09:35 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Daniel Carlson (@danielwcarlson.bsky.social) reposted

We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

29/8/2025, 6:24:12 PM | 16440 5188 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

The instructions are literally in the owner’s manual.

30/8/2025, 8:03:24 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Army lost (yesterday) and Navy won (today). Maybe if West Point wasn’t in the process of re-hanging their traitor photo they’d be able to focus on not losing to a school no one has ever heard of. If Annapolis changes the names of Carter Hall or Farragut House then they deserve to lose, too.

30/8/2025, 7:33:47 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

My sports analysis says: no.

Screenshot of espn dot com showing final score of Ohio State-Texas game 14-7 and a headline that reads “Live updates: Can No. 1 Texas catch No. 3 Ohio State late in Columbus?” with the words “final” and “live updates” highlighted to point out the absurdity
30/8/2025, 7:31:47 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Good contribution to the thread

30/8/2025, 5:02:55 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Samuele ~ ImTheSnack (@imthesnack.bsky.social) reposted

Solar panels are basically wireless receivers for a nuclear fusion power plant.

30/8/2025, 9:56:14 AM | 1139 202 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Ridiculous

30/8/2025, 4:33:03 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“I find your lack of toilet paper disturbing.”

30/8/2025, 3:13:38 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

There’s a joke here about beer and pizza, too.

30/8/2025, 3:09:43 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

According to me, using AI atrophies your brain.

30/8/2025, 3:06:53 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

The twist is that it sucks

30/8/2025, 2:36:07 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

That shed didn’t exist and now it does.

30/8/2025, 2:34:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

No, the predator from The Predator doesn’t only attack people when it’s being attacked. That’s an inaccurate and obtuse characterization of the entire reason the creature comes to Earth.

30/8/2025, 1:42:29 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

The New York Times has a 4-page spread on the “Jaws” Template and totally fucks it up.

30/8/2025, 1:08:28 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

This article is framed oddly. This only really impacts naval aviators in the strike pipeline (a fact kind of mentioned but glossed over halfway through). Plenty of naval aviators earn their wings of gold having never trapped on a carrier.

30/8/2025, 12:42:43 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

It’s the one area where I conform to stereotype

30/8/2025, 3:44:00 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Simple insult or clever?

30/8/2025, 2:48:30 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

No

30/8/2025, 2:28:22 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Well at least Army lost today

30/8/2025, 2:27:03 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

What a dopey question

30/8/2025, 12:54:37 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Weird photo

30/8/2025, 12:49:12 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Hope he spends his weekend eating Big Macs

30/8/2025, 12:06:30 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

*term limited for governor

30/8/2025, 12:04:30 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

France, holding Indochina against its bosom: “There, there. Those mean Japanese imperialists won’t hurt you any longer.”

29/8/2025, 8:07:10 PM | 2 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m not in favor of de-extinction for mammoths and stuff but I’d be up for bringing Lee back just to have him put back in the ground.

29/8/2025, 8:00:05 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Why did they call it “dad bod” when “father figure” was right there?

29/8/2025, 6:59:36 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Yeah the penguin was technically correct but missed the original point

29/8/2025, 4:26:46 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

*Col. Robert E. Lee

29/8/2025, 4:25:33 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Senator or president. He’d have a shot at the former. He’d get blasted out of the primary for potus.

29/8/2025, 4:23:18 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Uh what

29/8/2025, 3:45:51 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Eric L. Robinson (@uticaeric.bsky.social) reposted

They correctly identify the Confederacy as their political and cultural inspiration.

29/8/2025, 11:52:32 AM | 163 34 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Putting a new spin on “Great Mistakes”

29/8/2025, 3:10:36 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

*There’re

29/8/2025, 3:07:03 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

There’s two offices I could see him thinking he could pursue: senator or president.

29/8/2025, 2:51:30 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Wesley Morgan (@wesleymorgan.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

hiddencompass.net/story/portra...

29/8/2025, 3:29:52 AM | 12 4 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Ally McGator Beal Croco-Dale Earnhardt Neil Caiman Gharial Busey Veruca Saltwater Crocodile Nile Ferguson Crocodile Alliga-Tori Amos

29/8/2025, 5:13:03 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Permissive regulatory regimes” like probably child r*pe

29/8/2025, 4:37:13 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

Put quite simply, this is fucking stupid.

29/8/2025, 3:18:27 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Hope Polis has no higher political aspirations because this is disqualifying

29/8/2025, 2:08:51 AM | 488 13 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

I’m curious after reading the plot summary and description. Is it more than an accurate semi-realtime retelling of a combat op?

29/8/2025, 2:05:20 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

A minute closer to his end

29/8/2025, 1:29:21 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

You are such a reliable schmuck

29/8/2025, 12:26:42 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

“If you’re pushing slop or eating it, you wouldn’t read it anyway. You’d ask a bot for a summary and forget what it told you, then proceed with your day, unchanged by words you did not read and ideas you did not consider.”

29/8/2025, 12:21:01 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Faine Greenwood (@faineg.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

There’s an enormous amount of stuff in this book I’d like to highlight, but start with: “What emerges as the most elementary insight is that, since we do not now have any ways of making computers wise, we ought not now to give computers tasks that demand wisdom.”

What could be more obvious than the fact that, whatever intelligence a computer can muster, however it may be acquired, it must always and necessarily be absolutely alien to any and all authentic human concerns? The very asking of the question,
28/8/2025, 10:34:04 PM | 1058 303 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social)

“As a former paper salesman I couldn’t stand watching The Office and its inaccurate and disrespectful portrayal of the paper sales industry.”

28/8/2025, 10:17:25 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Where’d you hide the body?

28/8/2025, 2:39:35 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

What’s the organization system?

28/8/2025, 2:18:07 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Timothy McVeigh to receive posthumous promotion to staff sergeant.

28/8/2025, 2:16:40 PM | 15 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

Yes and yes

28/8/2025, 1:04:59 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

What a weird thing to tweet

28/8/2025, 11:54:42 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Travis Klempan (@travisklempan.bsky.social) reply parent

“Best” is such a meaningless descriptor for political races.

27/8/2025, 10:09:07 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view