When Trump dies the stock market will jump like 1000 points
Licensed plumber. Salt of the earth. Loves animals, native gardens, hillside architecture, punching Nazis.
226 followers 565 following 626 posts
view profile on Bluesky
When Trump dies the stock market will jump like 1000 points
Dead Man Golfing
Ah fuck my lawyer got drunk & kidnapped a woman & then her husband went to save her but he hit my lawyer’s car from behind when my lawyer slammed on the brakes to pull in to a gas station to buy boner pills 🇺🇸🗽
RFK Jr on his way to help Rudy Giuliani
I’m not sure if you really have any idea what you’re talking about? But I like your style! And I feel that I’ve learned something through our conversation. I hope you a say the same! Have a good day sir and madam
Good point friends! Depends on what you mean by self interest. For example, I believe it is NOT in my self interest to live in an an authoritarian, racist, militarized, corrupt, science-denying, nationalist nazi hellscape. So I don’t plan to “sit this one out” in the name of sanctimonious purity.
You should petition for more votes. Seems only fair!
I’d prefer Pritzker to be honest, but the election is a long way off. I’m always amused by the “they’re all the same” crowd, you probably raged against Kamala being a cop too lol
How many votes do you get? How many of you are there?
Settle down people! No one is voting for Nazis here.
Was Rudy’s heroic rescue of a defenseless naïf before or after this
Maybe some of you did. Did you check with everyone?
Yeah the syntax is all off. Not him.
Friend. I don’t know! Rob Ford was pretty high on the Nazi-meter. Higher than Gavin I’d reckon.
Oh, sorry - you’re not American. You people are so literal! I thought you meant it in a metaphorical sense: we’re not “American”. I see now. Where do y’all live?
Whoa there tiger, simmer down! I may be a shitstain but where do you get nationalist from? So you’re not going to vote? I guess it’s easier to bitch and moan if you don’t even participate. 😂
Of all the pictures of himself, he chose to post that one? My god.
Maybe! I’m just curious who you’re going to vote for president in 2028?
So, no.
Do you have a better alternative?
No im going to vote for trump because the dem candidates aren’t perfect
You’re right I’ll vote for trump
Nice
the Wikipedia entry for axolotls reads like a Cake song
The man is insanely healthy. Ear got shot clean off and there it was the next day, grown back like a lizard.
Never forget how the BBC announced the death of the Duke of Edinburgh m.youtube.com/shorts/Xz3pt...
Wut
Som much concern and alarm! I imagine her walking around with her face permanently frozen into Munch’s “Scream” at this point
We can say goodbye to any future help from these heroes.
And fire a few teachers to pay for rent-a-cops at every door
But also utterly lacking charisma. I don’t think he will command obeisance the way Trump does.
Artists depict angels as having one pair of feathered wings like birds, but scientists know they have two pairs of wings like crickets, which they use for stridulation in order to attract female angels or ward of rivals.
Beautifully written, thank you.
imagine being so maniacally racist that you side with the fire over the firefighter
I like it! Succinct. Catchy.
God doesn’t “hate” you. He probably has no idea who you are. Or is just mildly indifferent and annoyed by your bullshit.
38% is still a lot of people who support deploying the US military against its own people.
A departure from long-established norms.
A jury of my peers? TWELVE murderers?!
Omg that’s amazing
Hypothetically. If drinking a quart of urine every day until 2026 meant that Dems would sweep the midterms, would you do it? Or are you so locked in your ideological purity straight-jacket that you’d rather see Trump as lifelong dictator?
Except you’d be making the case from heaven.
I know there's a lot of controversy about the Cracker Barrel logo, so I worked up a new option that should be good with everyone... The barrel is back, but it's now guarded by Scubble, The Cracker Goblin. I also worked up a new slogan for the company!
This speech sounds even better if you read it in a yoda voice
Chins.
Yeah his actual skin tone is the pallor of death
Meanwhile:
Meanwhile:
Those cat donuts are treacherous!
Many benefits to journaling, but it’s time consuming and difficult. ChatGPT can take care of this annoying task in seconds.
I’m a Proud Member of The Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.
Related: rattlesnake bites for men are located in upper extremities (hands and arms) 80% of the time; for women 80% of bites are on feet and legs.
I’m gonna guess the gardener plants a garden
My God is the one true God. Your God is dumb as shit.
wtf dude
*I* don’t give a shit about starvation and genocide in Gaza, therefore these leftists must have some complex transactional calculus for opposing it.
Have you considered Chicken Tartare?
I anticipate a gauntlet of these masked goons at every polling place in blue or purple cities, making sure the next election is “legitimate”.
And do some “poll-watching”
Our process uses no filtration or pasteurization, directly squeezing the snakes with patented rollers to extract the purest non-gmo oils.
OR “resisting arrest.”
I remember having a president that didn’t kiss Putin’s kgb ass.
I miss having a president who isn’t Putin’s little bitch.
And Trump is dumb enough, or compromised enough, to accept them as fact.
MarkWayne Mullin was just afraid someone would steal one of his first names
I normally advise my clients to NEVER speak without a lawyer present, but in this case I feel it’s acceptable.
What we are all experiencing is called "resilience targeting." It is a deliberate attack favored by many of todays shitlords, and is a fairly well known theory in disinfo and climate circles; it's just that everyone seems to be in denial that it's an attack. Today might be a good day to read up
Why not reskeet them anyway?
@simonmaechling.bsky.social
Of course they will. And that astonishingly, insanely huge budget for the Secret Police? All those masked ICE goons are going to be "poll watching" to make sure no ineligible voters try to cast a ballot.
I am skeptical about that.
NEW: The most important scandal of the week is not Trump's Epstein mess. It's the Gabbard-Trump plot to fabricate evidence to set up a sham DOJ prosecution of Obama & others and perhaps show trials. A major abuse of power & a perversion of US intelligence & law enforcement. True authoritarianism.
Worth mentioning that the Fed is paying for its own renovation. It receives no US Gov't funds.
How do I join Qanon? I've got some intel on the current president
Looking forward to House Democrats' failure to capitalize on this shocking failure that literally endangers us all.
Rounding up gardeners, cooks, construction workers, maids and sending them to concentration camps or foreign gulags. Importing murderers. 👍
Me too! I guess we’ll never know.
The pro-genocide thing isn’t a dealbreaker?
“I wisht I had of been there,” Trump said, hitting the ground with his fist. “It ain’t right I wasn’t there because if I had of been there I would of known. Listen lady,” he said in a high voice, “if I had of been there I would of known and wouldn’t be like I am now.”
Foomp!
On the plus side, perhaps we will get lawn darts back
What does this mean in simple terms?
Pretty sure that’s a Russian troll or an AI bot. Block ‘em.
Russian troll or AI bot. Block.
Exactly!
You can be a conservative piece of shit and still endorse establishment democrats.
Considering this from various angles - I respect your dedication but you might be doing it wrong?
How does he keep the drink cups separate from the pee cups?
No way that’s not an AI generated face
You can choose to be snarky and sarcastic but it’s a good point, and to most of the Hoo-raw right wing it IS a novel concept.
In a stunning moment of erotic fervour, calculator demands BOOBS.
“Gender affirming care? A crime against god and nature!” - gym bro freakishly ripped on testosterone and steroids
Ugh. Gross!
Do the Worm!
Now hiring, Chief People Officers, apply within
I try to look for the silver lining in every tragedy.
The kiddie diddler in chief.
Soon after his famous "Ich bin eine Berliner" speech, JFK compounded his error by travelling to Denmark to deliver another speech. "I am a Danish", he thundered at the bewildered crowd.
So much happens every minute of every day with this fast-track authoritarian capture. Sometimes you just have to go back. This is the weirdest written letter. Read this from February by @jasonleopold.bsky.social www.bloomberg.com/news/newslet...
