I am completely incapable of growing any kind of respectable facial hair. If I don't shave every other day it looks like whatever the lions got their fill of, and the hyenas couldn't be bothered with.
I'm *a* Rob. I'm not *THE* Rob. I don't think...
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I am completely incapable of growing any kind of respectable facial hair. If I don't shave every other day it looks like whatever the lions got their fill of, and the hyenas couldn't be bothered with.
Fun story. When I was 16 or so, I stepped into the 80+ mph batting cages. NOPE. F*ck that. I don't know if you know what an 80 mph ball looks like? It's f*cking terrifying. I can't even imagine what a 90 mph curveball looks like.
I would tacklehug Shrek in a second. Giddy, like a schoolchild.
The eyebrows are creepy.
Don't touch my stuff.
If everything had gone according to plan, I would've played 3rd base for the Chicago Cubs from like 1999- 2015. I may need to rethink my career trajectory.
And who parks a golf cart on the tee?
If you were given the opportunity to be an editor for any other author in history, who would it be? And why would it be Hunter S Thompson?
It's always better when you do it in a Cartman voice.
\o/
Guilty. /sorry.
If it fuels you to continue doing what you do, sir? I will champion it. /heroes don't always wear capes //sometimes they drink overpriced caffeinaited drinks (Long time follower, first time commenter)
Secretly we all wish we'd caught some kind of Presidents or Toadies show.
I've never fully understood how half of the internet is obsessed with coffee. I love coffee, as a treat once in awhile. That people can't seemingly get through a morning without it is strange to me.
Isn't living like 78 years WITH sugar better than living 83 years carefully calculating calories and body weight indexes and sh*t" Grab a waffle cone. Who gives a sh*t?
That?... I just, no. Why?
I'M SO CLOSE!!!!
Trust.
The important thing is now the Styx iconic song "Come Sail Away"is stuck in your head. They said, "Come sail away, come sail away Come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away Come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away Come sail away with me, Come sail away, come sail away
Every grown man in America will instantly turn into an 8-year old boy the moment a base runner gets caught between bases. PICKLE!!!! Don't lie, it's one of the few joys we have.
I should have included Sublime in my list.
Cusp Gen-x/ millennial So: Alice in Chains Nirvana Pearl Jam NIN STP RATM Green Day And No Doubt back when Gwen was cool.
Well since I'm billing you, I would recommend you skip the mimosas and instead indulge in Bellinis instead. They suit you better.
I screwed that up.
As your attorney, I recommend you find a place with brunch. And unlimited mimosas
Just a few short hours away from my favorite football team drastically disappointing me.
The majority of the ones you pay $10 for 3 fish to feed to at Seaworld. They're mostly Cownose rays.
The turtle was singing "Come Sail Away" by Styx. I mean, what kind of turtle WOULDN'T follow along?
1, 3, 5, 7, (some kinda prime number thing here?) 8, 17, 19, 20, and 29. The rest are just gibberish.
Probably should've tagged him in here. flavorflav.bsky.social
I just wanted to be witty on the internet. Just once. *sobs* /kidding. Great minds, etc
I mean, if he DOES die? At least he's fully aware that a lot of the world is excited about it. That must be nice to dwell upon.
Thank you, Ollie.
Barack should just start showing up everywhere with his Nobel Prize on a necklace, Flavor Flav style.
Get a volunteer spreadsheet put together. At all times, someone carrying a bucket of large rainbow-colored chalk is slowly crossing the crosswalk each time it turns green. 24-7. Not breaking any laws. But letting them know they can't be stationed there forever.
Pitfall!!
Dammit, I immediately thought this. And was going to google how to spell "chrysalis." *pouts*
I remember in the early 2000's being excited that twenty years later we would be referring to those times as "the aughts." "Back in aught-six or so..." Kinda sad that never really caught on. At least not yet.
You're really going to ask someone to prove a negative?
Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick. Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Has it's own weather system. HEAD! MOVE!
That is where the "fat face" JV Dance thing came from! I didn't actually know that.
I unfortunately have new upstairs neighbors. Who, for reasons I can't fully understand have been in some kind of Ultimate Fighting Championship with their furniture. For 3 days straight.
You should store it on its side so the cork doesn't dry out.
Crap.
Do they still make these things? I get weird cravings sometimes and would eat about 4 of these right now if I could.
She's only ever left the States on cruise ships before, so I need this to all go really well. So anyways in about 2 weeks I'm shippin' off to Iceland. Wish me luck!
Anyways, I have an upcoming R&R. And I've decided to go to... Reykjavik. As kind of a reconnaissance mission. Check out where the condo is, restaurants nearby. Get a lay of the land. I haven't been there in like 13 years. So I just want to make sure my then 74 y.o. Mom is comfortable and content.
It's a direct flight. And happily she's totally on board. Already studiously researching which tours she wants to go on, etc. I also agreed to cover airfare and hotels for the sisters, nieces/ nephews too. But I haven't heard back if they're planning on coming.
So I booked a 2 bed/ 2 bath condo in Reykjavik for the week. Why a 2b/2b? Aug 12th also happens to be my Mothers birthday. So for her birthday this year I called her up. "I'm going to Iceland for the eclipse. I would love it if you want to come, too. I'll pay for your flights, everything.
So, okay long story. On August 12, 2026 there will be a full solar eclipse that passes over Iceland. I've never experienced a full eclipse in my life. A few partial ones. But what better place to witness such an event than against the stunning backdrop and beauty of Iceland?
I just got that it was a fun, self-referential joke.. Sorry
I'm f*cking tired, man. Can we do this another day ?
I should hire an assistant. Their only job will be to occasionally poke me in the ass with a cattle prod and yell at me. "Go do that thing you've been meaning to do!" Suddenly my photos are organized, I have a great credit score. I've done my taxes for the last 3 years. Reconciled with my sister.
Some angry guy is at work right now writing up his findings. No, seriously. We are NOT moving the Discovery Shuttle to f*cking Texas. Ever.
cholula or tabasco?
I would hate to be one of those interns responsible for a social media account for ANY politician, left or right. That has to be like the most painful job anywhere, ever.
"he’s worth about $7 million today" F*ck Chuck.
Step down, Chuck. Go away.
Pretty solid advice. Do you, Chuck Schumer, Minority Leader of the United States Senate have anyone you might know that might act on your proposal? I enjoy screaming into the Void as much as anyone. But seriously we're all tired of your posturing. Fucking do something you wimp.
I mean, some of the people I work with may not love me. But I don't think I've ever successfully pissed off like 50k people.
Does drumph still have that "human printer" lady following him around giving him any positive news about himself she could find? Those are 21 words that never once before have been organized in that particular order.
Due to Trump's tariffs on imported wines, sparkling wines and Champagne from France, celebrations of Trump's death are expected to cost average Americans an additional $1,300 per household. -Reuters
Call on God. But row away from the rocks. HST
Honest question. Can you have Chicago cops follow them around everywhere they go? The moment one of the NG, or FBI, or DHS goons steps an inch out of line, arrest them. Make an example of them. Booked, spend the night in jail, stand before a judge in the a.m. That might resonate.
This picture sums up the terror every parent lives with. This poor woman is running toward the school building where CHILDREN were murdered today.
I love the irony of high Vis jackets over camouflage gear.
Sh*t loke this pisses me off. A bunch of other people wrote a letter...
Any chance you know anyone in a co-equal branch of government that could use laws and the power of the purse enshrined in the constitution and upheld in SCOTUS decisions throughout history to, I dunno? Actually do something instead of whining to the rest of us on social media? GO! Get off your ass.
If I were trying to sound smart, why would you use an even more complicated word in the definition? This is bullsh*t.
Honestly? I'm not afraid of people not being afraid of these things. I'm scared of people that don't pay attention. Because they're comfortable. No need to focus on that. I'm f*cking TERRIFIED of the people that listen to a.m. talk radio and watch Fox/ Newsmax 18 hours a day. They scare me.
And in our new reality, the Emperor would deport the child to a torture prison in another country for exposing his and sycophant followers lies. I'm kinda grumpy. Even HCA didn't dream this up.
Okay.
So, does the WH put out a matching outfit guide each morning. Today: blue suit, red tie. Tomorrow: navy blue suit, maroon tie And everyone just shows up wearing the same f*cking thing?
Does he shape his hair differently each morning just to f*ck with us?
What?! Obviously if some ruler were nude and not wearing any clothing everyone loyal to him would correctly inform him. Right?
You know how all major news outlets have pre-written obits ready to go should any major celeb or public figure pass? I would LOVE to see draft copies of all of them.
And two years from now there will be a dozen "tell-all" books from insiders getting their million dollar advances on books containing information we could've all used YESTERDAY.
Or basically any 3-phase power generation. Coal, NG, etc.
There's at least 4 Earth moons. I can prove it. We've all seen a moon out in the day time, so between us and the sun. That's 1. In the night time, there's one farther from the sun. That's 2. The same thing happens south of the equator. I've seen it. That's proof that Earth has at least 4 moons.
They keep finding all these moons around other planets, and to this day all of these "scientists" and "astrologers" still can't find more than one around Earth? This is BS.
I know an MS-13 tat when I see one.
TRUMP: “A lot of people are saying maybe we’d like a dictator.” He’s saying it. Are you listening? 🇺🇸
Brooks for sneakers, Clark's for everything else not dressy. Dress shoes are situational and really specific to your needs. But yeah, Brooks and Clark's have treated me well for a long time now.
$5 says by the end of 2025 he starts trying to hand out Michelin Stars to restaurants.
Your face is dumb.
No, you!
I'm sorry for your loss, but also excited about the times you were able to share with each other.
Lol, never once in history have those words ever once been typed out in that order. Ever. I'm the first one.
embed.ted.com/talks/terry_...
The hell is this sh*t?
Lol, in my attempt to make a joke I f*cked it up. And somehow managed to leave "whenever" in there. The original joke was WAY funnier. And far more disrespectful.
Honesty? She probably speaks at a third grade level in Croatia or whenever she's from. Does anyone actually know?
That's maybe the wonderful thing I've had spoken about me in yesterday. I don't actually know, what time is it?
Don't let my negativity affect you. You're wonderful. I'm just an asshole.
I'm not particularly fond of much about anything anymore
I could get like Oxford, or Cambridge. Not being dismissive, genuinely curious
Is there much various between like French and Spanish law and the U.S.? I have questions.
I meant to double back on this. Is "studied abroad" in law school a common thing? That sounds really cool.
