lmao the deflated cactus
Jokes @ The Onion lolennui.com
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lmao the deflated cactus
looks great 👍 just overwater it some more
the monarch butterfly subreddit is amazing, every day someone posts the deadest caterpillar I’ve ever seen and goes “is he ok???”
it all began with Mayor Willie McPenis
Here's the video Trump just posted to Truth Social, with the claim that 11 people aboard the boat were killed. There is zero evidence of self-defense here. Looks like a massacre of civilians at sea. Even if they had drugs aboard, that's not a capital offense.
Oh hell yeah, congratulations!!
I think society really fell when people started to pretend posting was work instead of what lazy people did
you'd think the governor of illinois basically going "we're being invaded by an authoritarian" would be something you'd see real easy on the front page of most everything an hour later
Remember a lot of people here are Posts Georg. When nature has reclaimed Manhattan and the pyramids return to dust, still shall they be posting
bluesky hasn’t become massive but it’s not because we’re an echo chamber, it’s because we’re annoying in a ton of other ways and i think that’s beautiful
Only thing I get from this is you can see how a group of privileged white men can turn society against a marginalized group
Imagine how fucked up your posts have to be for the British police to be like, damn, you’ve got a lot of problems.
How's my flying? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
turns out they can safely tag monarchs to track their migration but do you think it’s worth the bullying
how do i explain to my kids two women being married?? how explain sun go away at night but come back next day? how explain magic rectangle show people talk??? HOW
"Amélie Cook An Egg" by Björk
I heard this in Björk’s voice
“Gaza Riviera” is such a uniquely horrifying phrase, contemplating it is like looking at a death mask for the world.
anyone got eyes on Cheney
H. H. Holmes & Gardens
giuliani is gonna sue the hell out of whoever painted a tunnel on that brick wall
If they don’t play Heads Will Roll later then we may as well scrap the whole country
this is the start of a screwball comedy where that guy becomes wide receiver
could not agree more
happy labor day weekend lol
the beauty of MAGA people being nuts is they’re gonna go harder on the body double theories than us lol
labubus but pronounced like it’s Latin
Now I must invent them anew
Terrified I’m gonna wake up one day and there will be no labubus in the world and no one will know what I’m talking about when I ask where they went
this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you guys, you’re glowing
I bet he’s so many colors and textures right now
Ms. Rachel has seized control of the military and begin jailing political opponents (DEVELOPING)
guys this is a textbook long weekend BBL
sorry to post reddit but I’ve laughing at this for 5 business days
This is a poorly framed question. Lots of conservatives would cut off a family member for being LGBT, for example, but that doesn’t clock as a ‘political view’ to them. Also, the narrative that leftists cut off their conservative family members too easily is extremely widespread on the right.
wait I changed my mind, threads is amazing
some of y’all
Our dog is doing physical therapy, and the photos they’re sending us make him look like a Far Side character.
(Small domino) Joe Kennedy Jr. dies in WWII leaving his father’s ambitions on the shoulders of younger brother John Fitzgerald (Big domino) HHS Secretary RFK Jr concedes the flesh eating screwworms make some good points
RFK Jr looks like an Eli Valley drawing of himself
normal guy at a party: hey man how’s it going Charlie Kirk: I will outbreed you
I’m a big reactionary about big game hunting. If you want a rhino head that’s fine but you have to go get em with a spear lol
if you need a crazy gun to hunt are you maybe just really bad at hunting
It absolutely does mean they're anti-trans, you freak.
I think it’s mean they haven’t told Lorne Michaels he has enough money to retire
now begins our nightly ceremony, an innumerable mass of humanity chanting “BEAN BEAN BEAN BEAN” in communion with our leguminous god
Imagine being a Kennedy and telling other people their kids look fucked up
this feels homophobic
Someone ask RFK Jr what he’s gonna do about childhood midi-chlorian exposure
butt 2 butt
It’s pretty striking to me that by scrolling Bluesky’s “Popular With Friends” tab for a few minutes I can get up to speed quickly with the breaking news of the day but if I were to just scroll X’s “For You” page for the same amount of time (or more) I wouldn’t even know there was a school shooting
it's always sad to remember that survivors of mass shootings will also have to pay for a lifetime of medical services, including surgeries for gunshot wounds, therapy, physical rehabilitation, and prescription medications for anxiety, depression, and physical pain
Children have to do mass shooting drills and then media training
“My friend Victor saved me though, because he laid on top of me, but he got hit.” A child had to say these words.
So many adults have to fail a child before he ends up 10 years old telling CNN about the mass shooting he lived through this morning
god. damn.
Very Mussolini, famously the reign that never ended
People think I’m kidding when I say short form video is evil but
inviting your friends over for dinner: a successful friend-maintaining strategy for over 40,000 years
Love Celeste so much, I’ve been following them on insta for a long time and can’t wait to see what they do next
I appreciate that many of the SNL staff departures acknowledge how much of a toll that "dream job" quickly took on them, like how Celeste Yim slept in her office every week and was yelled at by famous people: www.vulture.com/article/snl-...
Every single GOP response to a mass shooting amounts to “I don’t give a shit” and we’re all just supposed to pretend that’s a negotiable difference of opinion
BREAKING: Golden Corral getting rid of glory holes
I DISAGREE
This is sick freak shit to say and it's alright to point that out
Update: it got funny again
"We've created one of the most anti human, pro capital nations on earth. What gives? Why are ppl dying earlier???"
the richest man in the world buying a presidential election, getting run out of the administration for being a weird diva, then pivoting to jerking it to anime cartoons full time is somehow more Roman than anything that ever happened in Rome
ok Dr. Tarantino
lol rekt
ME, wearing dinosaur head: RAAAWWRR I’M GONNA EAT YOUUU 4-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW: um wait that dinosaur is an herbivore
a few hundred years ago this engagement would have ended 5 bloody wars of succession
I think they’re more like the borg
The fucked up part is that Taylor and Travis are both Habsburgs
Millions of swifties around the world freeze and begin molting in preparation
I am the most persecuted minority, a woman who likes Taylor Swift a normal amount
the president of the united states is going to post about her egg count before nightfall
yes I follow politics very closely
Chicago is like “oh fuck, I guess we *have* to talk about me now uuugh”
I had to pause The Oner a few times and just sit with how funny it was
guess I’m at the age where sometimes I just black out and then wake up having bought a shitload of 3-wick candles in festive seasonal fragrances
I've resigned from the jury for the duPont-Columbia Journalism Awards in response to Columbia's capitulation to Trump. www.poynter.org/commentary/2...
I'm hearing that people who last searched for jobs in 1993 still tell their kids to just go to the job store and shake the manager's hand But even the jobs store is out of jobs
does anyone remember the funny post I thought of while falling asleep???
Here he is trying Filipino food. Same, Kent. Same.
My favorite of this genre is the guy from Kentucky who had his mind blown by Indian food www.tiktok.com/@lukefoods/v...
Andy Beshear and Tim Walz both to Newsomes left and are more electorally viable merely by not being Californian lol
“bluesky was mean to me just for being a huge asshole on purpose every day”
Telling my son he may have to be the man of the house if I don’t come home from Operation Giardiniera
Bold to choose one of America’s top sandwich cities
just absolutely mowing down a flower bud
I love this. It's crazy, pretty much everyone I know, everyone I've ever talked to about it, craves some sort of more communal living. *Everyone.* And yet the US offers almost no models -- you have to build it from the ground up.
it rules that every third person out there is too crazy to hold a normal conversation
