Point: Hamlet is a masterpiece Counterpoint: no its not
Tired…so very tired
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Point: Hamlet is a masterpiece Counterpoint: no its not
Gary: a space odyssey
Cant let the sunlight touch him
Needs more goiter
“Oops, i forgot i left all my swords in the trap door cushion room, sorry about that”
Car thoughts and car prayers
New prez, who dis?
It’s working
“Hey y’all, look at me, im going light speed!”
Mmmm… this does go well with the 3 week old beached whale
Thats how Hello Kitty says goodbye
I’LL TAKE THREE!!!
Ha, he was only off by 30 years and… oops I’ve said too much
Ah, is he “speaking for the house” when he says this?
Sounds like a problem for AI
Why aren’t we honoring the British general who burned down the white house? He was much more successful than the J’6ers
Young assistant love is purest kind of love. Also the love of a double scotch at the airport, no matter the cost
Mom and pop political machine
You can’t combine reeses pieces and oreos, their polarities repel each other. Oh sorry thats m&ms
How many ET’s is he trying to catch?
The shiting yourself is the point
This comedian is terrible, and such small portions!
“A voice in my head told me to stop. I didnt listen”
Yeah but the passed the dutchie on the musical youth authorization……………………………………………….aw come on 🤷♂️
So close!
Cant they convert it to the governor’s mansion?
It is odd how its just a few tweaks to go from borderline unlistenable to so good people will be listening to this for 50 years. I think nobody was more surprised than Nirvana they hit so big, they thought they were a shitty sonic youth/pixies imitation, but they got it just right
Maybe we need higher caliber thoughts and prayers, like a high capacity magazine full of them. More tactical, more armor piercing, more automatic rapid fire thoughts and prayers
Its like he said some slur about brown people, and then then the monkey’s paw closed, and now every time he appears on tv he gets browner and browner. Im surprised Fox still talks to him
Oh he’ll love this parade
Zero-g wedding! The bride’s dress will be made out of denim
Doesn’t “RFK jr is in charge of my health care” mean I’m high risk?
They were attacked AT A MASS. Clearly she is blaming the kids and teachers for not praying to not get shot, or maybe she is saying they were praying to GET shot?
I have enough barf, thank you
You can get a degree in only 34 weeks at trump lawyer college to honor the 34 counts
Why have a russia expert when you can just ask putin what he wants
“Every time they bring me the bill and i say “dont you know who i am?” I get the angry looks”
“Doing the right thing is always cheaper than the cost to block it.” - yeah but the free cruelty is priceless
This is insane
Thank god everything i buy is over $800
It will be great when their traffic dies down and they do this all over again. Probably be every 90 days or so
“Tom Clancy’s Fifty Shades of Grey”
What a great place to start spraying gunfire
Haha, business
They can point to the giant statue of “the man throwing the sandwich” on the horizon, but no one remembers why it was built
God this picture hits you right in the face. She must be 100 yards away and you can feel her absolute panic
There’s no money in stopping it, you see
What are we going to do, teach them hem how to live in a functioning society?
True, but there needs to be more of this. They need to ask how he will feel when this happens again, and again, and again….
Thats a very “thats terrible, lets move on” type comment. What a thing to say to the survivors, “the person that loves then the most wanted those kids back. As for you, well, better luck next time!”
Whoa, thats great
“But George, im going to college to be an opinion columnist “ “Too many of those too”
Or going to their immigration meeting. Is there anything more heinous?
“Bang the gang for Christ!”
Huh, i wonder wino(t)?
More American death. Can we get the news to check if these kids had gunshot wounds and were covered in blood before the shooting so i can feel better about this and dismiss this as nothing i can do anything about status quo?
Its not funny its fucking hilarious
True, you’re not throwing your sandwich if its Mike’s way. I said it was a good sandwich, not a great sandwich.
He’s a puppet. That many hands can fit into at once to control
“BOGO coupons to Cracker Barrel for everyone, your welcome” -trump
Let me guess, we are getting trains made of gold?
Lots of mayo so it makes that splat sound
Its not sliced so it stays together better when you throw it
DC is going to be so clean it will look like a European capital. Im sure MAGA will hate that
fair enough
If we are throwing a nice prosciutto soppressatta with some basil, parmesean, and burrata with a drizzle of olive oil then the republic is in real trouble 🤌
I think what everyone is glossing over is that a good sandwich was lost in this battle
Data-“i just drank all the ship’s water to provide that answer “
CEO frantically waving arms “No, it just looks better, the food is still just as shitty as always”
Melt all the gold down and pour the molten metal over his head and say “wear your crown, King”
But eating hamburgers and getting A’s is what America is all about Charlie Brown!
“You like your toast black right? Well you do now” -toaster
The logical endpoint is firing SCOTUS, since there is no such thing as independence
That last guy just came off the links
Don’t worry I brought my Canadian flag
Well we will just have to spend a lot of money until they DO think it helps American business. See how efficient and cost effective this is?
🎶 which one of these things is not like the other 🎶… wait they’re all the same
Thats what i dont get. Who would buy Intel chips now that its part of the US government? No foreign country will, might as well contract directly with the CIA. Few in this country will. So now you have to force people to buy your product, through intimidation or lack of choice. The Russian model
Gosh, i guess its just con men all the way down
So is he saying he’s against locks?
The security guarantees for Ukraine are not for Ukrainian security
I think you can tell who this is just with one eye
How does a cowboy hat stay on in a jeep? Does it have a strap?
Are you no longer supported either?
Not looking forward to the Intel wars…
Its like they all put on their purge masks
“I mean, this isn’t racketball. I dont need a racket, I can just hit the ball with my hands.”
Thank GOD cattywampus isnt on there
Oh god, they are coming after the criminals. What are republicans going to do now?
Nice!
“They are hiding something!Quick, check the insurance actuaries!”
Pretty sure the Dune one is correct. It was right before the “Do the Dune” dance sequence. Though I might be thinking of a different movie.
“Smithers, have Tom Cotton executed”
Dude the rule of law is so 2024, we are on to whims and grudges
I’ll take the one on the left
Is this a “everyone was getting bribes” story or a “hey how come I didn’t get any bribes” story?
The fact that he started with a guy nobody likes is on purpose. All of trumps former (and current) employees should watch their backs.
He enjoys the blues he causes.