I’m gonna follow you for this joke but I don’t feel good about it Thankfully I’m high and this was hilarious
I’m here to perform my dance quintet, you know, my cycle
73 followers 110 following 72 posts
view profile on Bluesky
I’m gonna follow you for this joke but I don’t feel good about it Thankfully I’m high and this was hilarious
The Lord™️ works in mysterious ways
The assumption Trump has an agenda is always hilarious to me
Do you want a stiff neck? Because that’s how you get a stiff neck!
Despite having a 7 drawer tool box full of tools I’ve never actually had the right tool for the job
I sneezed 5 times just thinking about it
This is not including the daily dread we all live in
My therapist told me the other day that this may be the first time I’ve felt truly safe and stable since…college I’ll be 49 in 10 days
Me, switch hitting between a cigar and a joint: I should set up the hookah
To the two people who followed me last : You put me over 69 followers The fuck is wrong with you
Grew up evangelical Rejected hell (and everything else pretty much) a long time ago Last 6 months I’m starting to…warm up (sorry)…to the idea
Perfect. No notes.
Barry Zuckercorn, Esq.
Shit Jeb got more than that
Guess I’m back on here Mediocre as ever
That dude saw his life pass before his eyes
Yeah you could impeach Sec Brainworm but who the fuck you think is gonna replace him? Someone competent? An actual doctor? I mean if you want Laura Loomer as health secretary…
And looks like a nutsack wanted to be a real boy
Zero stake in this outcome but I even screamed “go! Go! Oh shit! Oh SHIT!”
I’ve been led to believe that this is the most transparent administration in history tho
This moment in history calls for Arya Stark
Superman my ass
Gotta hand it to the artist.
Hoosier
There’s a non zero chance that my cause of death will be an anger stroke from yelling at cars riding the passing lane
*grabs frying pan Come here for a sec I’ve seen this work in cartoons
Can’t imagine cows have much taxable income
you could upload the entire contents of these five brains to the Cloud and not even have to pay for the storage upgrade
Look, I don’t know who needs to hear this
Then I’m the most possessed fucker on earth
Well this is helpful
My goal is 69 followers No particular reason I just like that number
I was furious when they cancelled it
🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼
Took two hits just trying that bitch out and felt better than I have in two weeks. Right after therapy so it was even better 😂🤌🏼🥴
Just got my first dynavape and I will no longer be dropping infinite cash on edibles. It was a good run.
How do these fuckers even put their pants on in the morning
Yeah dude looks like a solid communicator once you get past the heavy breathing from standing still and the smell of donut grease
Have y’all heard of this *looks at label* mar…i…juan…a? Really solid stuff.
In your endo
It’s all a reality show to them
The only consistent emotions I’ve been left with over the last 9 years are hate, contempt, distress, and depression. There’s not much else left.
Well the WiFi on the Oregon Trail isn’t very good
Nope but I just looked it up and you had me at necromancer
I would do anything for love but I won’t listen to Meatloaf
Has Herschel Walker been nominated yet
I bet Gaetz wears Brut to homecoming
We should probably just tear the White House down in four years. Just build a new one. This one is gonna be too fucked up.
Trump’s cabinet is gonna end up being The Purge when they all start vying for Orange Daddy’s attention and praise
Shit I didn’t see A Dirty Job. Moore is fantastic. Lamb remains the funniest book I’ve ever read.
Sandman Slim is probably my favorite series ever. I’ve read them all multiple times.
Your mom is a sensual hog and I’m comin’ to slop that hog
In high school there was a saying going around “Save a tree, eat a beaver.” I, being hopelessly naive, did not know beaver didn’t mean, you know, an actual beaver. I just thought the idea of eating a beaver was funny as shit. My parents didn’t laugh when I told it to them.
Gaetz is what you get when Butthead and Eddie Munster have a fuck child which Gaetz would then send money on Venmo
Working nightshift is just living in America on Australian time
Safe to assume that every appointment will be a security risk
Wonka gave the factory to Charlie so he could flee to a country with no extradition to escape the murder charges
And they’re all as competent as Doug
175 million people explains quite a bit actually
*calls mom Not mine. Yours.
So we’re just putting pedophiles in charge of everything now huh
Myne Kindle doth runneth over with more goddamn books than I can read in several lifetimes
I’m two fisting a couple books right now Metaphorically speaking
Some paint with words
Actual ACTUAL lol
Pretty high so this landed just about right for me
This is one the hardest jazz pics I’ve ever seen Monk Mingus Haynes Parker
Since November 5 I’ve watched nothing but SpongeBob on tv so at least something good will come from the election
…with a sad attempt at an erection while I’m at it because fuck read receipts
When you know you’ve come to the right place
I’m new here I bring with me my midlife crisis, topped off with existential dread, and a having just made the mistake of trusting a fart I’m married Couple human boys I’m 48 and don’t like it The Girls say hi
