NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of a mother who reads a shit load of books, said when interviewed “moi thinks ma mère should read again to moi ‘We're Going on a Bear Hunt’ it is un classique, et then ‘La tale de Handmaid’. Moi’s likes ma mère doing reading reading to moi.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, resident of Ealing, said when interviewed “moi had a très lovely promenade et saw un pesky chat. Moi is maintenant in moi’s jardin, pour l’avoidance of doute moi did not make that wet patch. Moi is une lady.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, renowned beauty, said when interviewed “being as très jolie as moi is not automatique. Moi has, bien sûr, d'excellents gènes, mais moi also needs très bonne nourriture, beaucoup de promenades et the right to go sleepy bobos whenever moi likes. Moi is so worth it.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, devoted daughter, said when interviewed, “mon père is away in Écosse so moi is taking super care of ma mère by being très close, besides la kitchen smells amazing et moi might get a tasty tasty.”
We are calling this "Raise the Colours (or, The Ballad of Little Bobby Jenrick)" www.youtube.com/watch?v=87bY... It's a musical commentary on #raisethecolours, celebrating Robert Jenrick's latest social media antics, with a ukelele gradually going out of tune.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, most weather walker, said when interviewed, “moi has moi limits et moi has reached them, mais if mon père thinks Islay is going to be all frolicking on la plage he is going to be surprised. Still moi hopes he has beaucoup de fun et brings moi back un bon cadeau.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, proud daughter, said when interviewed “mon père is très bon at le foot! He is like messieurs Lineker et Shearer at putting le ballon in le net et might need to get un agent sportif. Moi is très chuffed.”
That is so true Ann, Q could whip up all kinds of stuff, Sophie would also like his help with a little something special for the cats for when she’s not on duty.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, investigator, said when interviewed, “moi is super bonne at this. Moi could be la prochaine 007! Moi used to be called 7. Moi thinks le nom Sophie is more jolie et moi likes it beaucoup, mais moi will heureusement use 007 as mon nom de code.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Ealing’s surveillance expert (level 2), said when interviewed, “moi is improving moi’s surveillance techniques, moi has learnt le camouflage et maintenant moi is juste practising having un sneaky look around corners. Moi expects un call from MI5.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of parents who have both been journalists, said when interviewed “moi thinks le massacre de journalists in Gaza cannot be described as ‘une mishap’. When moi has had ‘une mishap’, moi has juste done un pipi sur le tapis. Not the same.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, socialite, said when interviewed, “moi met deux lovely chiens aujourd’hui et moi had beaucoup de fun. Ella is particulièrement bon at le chasey chasey which moi super enjoyed, Finn is un peu more reserved, moi understands that some chiens, not moi, are like that.”
I’m pleased you enjoyed it culcavey. A little giggle is a very good thing.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, census conductor, said when interviewed “in this jolie photo moi is practising le camouflage, sans moi’s harnais et lead moi would blend right in, making it much better for ‘counting’ les chats.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, firm supporter of good against evil, said when interviewed “moi wishes Ukraine a très happy Jour de l'Indépendance, keep it going, tout le monde* stands avec you. Moi aussi thinks that your costume traditionnel is très joli.” *not poo-tin or l’homme d’orange.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, indignant dog, said when interviewed “moi’s manners are parfait (in moi’s tête), mais that chien was rude about moi’s harnais so moi told him he was un grand plonker with no sense of de la mode. Moi is une chienne forte!”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, music fan, said when interviewed “mes parents are going to le concert of le musique de Monsieur Mahler. Moi once thought he was the same as Monsieur Marley. They both write très cracking musique. Moi thinks ‘moi shot le sheriff’ is particulièrement un banger.”
Rory, any time for a picture of the pooch princess?
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, cheese aficionado, said when interviewed “moi très likes le fromage, ma mère knows this, et moi très adores ma mère, mais if she doesn’t do le sharey sharey, moi might need to do le petit pipi pipi super early et let mon père sleep.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, observer of world affairs, said when interviewed “mon père showed moi la couverture du magazine, moi finds it très drôle, vrai et très worrying. Moi thinks l’homme d’orange et poo-tin are super proper evil. Moi stands avec président Zelensky et le peuple ukrainien.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, vigilant conductor of the cat census of Ealing, said when interviewed, “moi saw an autre chat ce matin. Moi wanted to count it off moi’s lead, mais mes parents are still saying non. Moi hopes that demain they will start saying oui. It will improve moi’s research.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, recent Welsh vacationer, said when interviewed “moi has been told by un ami that le drapeau gallois has un lapin on it which is rouge, has flappy flappies et does le spitty de feu. Moi hasn’t seen any of ces super lapins mais moi will keep un oeil out next time.”
Ann, Sophie told me that she is more interested in researching rabbits than cats because they don’t have claws and can’t climb. I don’t know why that is relevant to a census, but she has gone back to researching cats now she’s in Ealing.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of proponents of evidenced based decision making, said when interviewed “mes parents always encourage moi in mon census des chats. If moi knows combien de chats moi can plan et there is un petit chance moi might get un pound or deux pour follow up research”.
Is that a rabbit on the flag?
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, explorer and athlete, said when interviewed “moi went for un run sans lead! Moi had beaucoup de fun et went très vite (faster than any lapin or chat). Moi aussi searched pour les lapins mais moi didn’t find any. Moi is now certain they are une chose galloise.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, hostess, said when interviewed “moi is beginning to love holding soirées, moi’s guests were fascinating, nous discussed les affaires mondiales, le foot et l’absence of lapins in Ealing. They thought moi was très intelligente et une vrai chienne de la Renaissance.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, well known holidaymaker, said when interviewed “mes parents et moi have returned from being en vacances. Moi is in deux minds, moi adores chez nous mais moi super misses les lapins, malheureusement there are no lapins dans Ealing, they seem to be un gallois thing.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, avid watcher of BBC news, said when interviewed “moi thinks poo-tin has no interest in peace he juste wantes bangy bangy until he has un empire.”
Due to current developments as a reminder once again this song by @marshfamilysongs.bsky.social 👇 #Trump #Putin #Ukraine #Alaska 🌻🇺🇦🇪🇺
Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of readers, said when interviewed “ma mère reads beaucoup de livres. Moi is un peu worried about the livre called ‘Guide Me Home’. Moi loves it ici in Pays de Galles mais when we are going back to Ealing moi would prefer to rely on le GPS”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, lady of leisure, said when interviewed “mon père is giving ma nièce et mon neveu their petit dejeuner. Moi has mine après moi’s promenade et avec les adultes. Moi’s petit dejeuner préféré is beaucoup de bacon avec des œufs.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, dog of refinement, said when interviewed “moi is not panicky about la plage, pas du tout! Mais, moi has grande delicate (très jolie) ears et la plage is noisy. Moi aussi doesn’t like getting moi’s paws dirty. Moi is une lady.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, wishful thinker, said when interviewed “all moi wants dans tout le monde is dix minutes off the lead near les lapins! Moi promises to be super bien behaved like those chiens at Crufts or those avec les baa baas on la télé.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, naturalist in Wales, said when interviewed “on moi’s très charmant promenade on le coastal path ce matin, moi met un homme avec un net à papillons. Nous discussed notre amour de la nature (not chats) et les excellent programmes of Monsieur Attenborough”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, Vacationer in Chief, said when interviewed “moi adores being en vacances! Moi has beaucoup de très interesting promenades. Moi loves les bois et le coastal path. Moi doesn’t think moi needs to go la plage, et non, moi is not fraidy fraidy, moi is discerning.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, dog at leisure,said when interviewed “la nuit dernière moi needed un petit pipi which meant moi didn’t get enough sleepy bobos. Moi has had moi’s promenade et moi is knackered, moi will now have les petit somme. Moi doesn’t understand pourquoi mes parents are tired.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, world famous aunt, said when interviewed “moi thinks ma nièce et mon neveu are super d’accord, moi aussi loves mon frère et ma belle-sœur. Moi thinks this is going to be such une très bonnes vacances.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, socialite, said when interviewed “while promenading avec mes parents moi encountered un autre chien whom moi wanted to meet et peut-être play with. Ma mère held moi by mon harnais which regrettably made this encounter impossible. Moi did not hear her say ‘leave’.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, famous dog on holiday, said when interviewed “moi is un peu discombobulated, mais moi très appreciate tous les messages d’encouragement moi have received. Moi had une lovely promenade avec mes parents, it was un très proper hoot. Moi is getting beaucoup d’attention.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, loving daughter, said when interviewed “la famille de mon frère has arrived at chez nous. Moi is un peu unsettled mais it will be d’accord because mes parents will give moi beaucoup d’attention et moi knows moi is cherished. Ma mère might even teach moi Magna-Tiles.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC News and a starter level intellectual, said when interviewed “that RFK Jr. bloke is un proper idiot, moi knows plus about la science than him. La science is très bonne pour tout le monde et he should spend beaucoup de temps playing avec ses crayons”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, visitor to Wales, said when interviewed “moi is uncertain about la grande bleu thing, it moves et makes un funny noise. Mais, on an autre paw, moi is super interested in les lapins, malheureusement mes parents are still saying ‘non’ to moi meeting them (at speed).”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, brave girl, said when interviewed “moi still can be un peu fraidy fraidy sometimes, mais moi is getting plus courageuse. Moi knows everything will be d’accord parce que ma mère et mon père will always look after moi.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, very happy dog, said when interviewed “moi adores being en vacances! Mes parents et moi go on beaucoup de super interesting promenades, les things to see et sniff ici are très fascinating et so différent to les rues d’Ealing avec those pesky chats.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, happy holidaymaker, said when interviewed “moi saw les lapins ce matin, they are a bit like chats mais do les hoppy hoppies et stay on the ground. They do not mock moi like those rude chats. Moi would still like to chase them, mais mes parents said ‘non’.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of a budding food photographer, said when interviewed “moi is feeling better et merci pour all les well wishes. Our promenade was bon (no sign of les chats et les chiens rain) et then mon père took photos of le repas. Moi thinks Nigella will call him soon”.
It was incredibly exciting! Got to admire Woakes such bravery. Roll on the Ashes!
Me too Martha. I also need to do the tinklies loads of times when I have a disturbed night.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, holiday stroller, said when interviewed “moi had a lovely promenade avec mes parents et saw beaucoup de things (no vaches). Moi is maintenant un peu knackered, moi doesn’t know pourquoi, moi is going to have les petit somme après le petit déjeuner.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, slightly discombobulated holidaymaker, said when interviewed “moi was un peu unsettled, les sons are différent ici, moi then started thinking about having un petit pipi pipi beaucoup de fois. Moi is desolée. Moi will try to be better ce soir”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, dabbler in family history, said when interviewed “mon pères père was born in Pays de Galles, which makes moi un peu Welsh. His mère was born in Les Midlands. Moi has not been là. Is it as nice as ici? Mes parents love it ici reading les livres et drinking du vin”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, happy holidaymaker, said when interviewed “moi is en vacances avec ma famille! Moi is super happy et can’t wait to go promenading. Last time moi was ici moi saw les vaches! There are no vaches in Ealing (moi thinks).”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, recent convert to classical music, said when interviewed “moi vrais likes that Bark bloke, moi is aussi très bonne at le barking”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, intrepid starter level intellectual, said when interviewed “après le choque that it can rain chats et chiens, moi bravely went out on moi’s beat to count les chats. Moi checked every jardin, trying to sniff them out. Moi is committed to moving to la prochaine level”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, all weather walker, said when interviewed “moi is confused, ce matin moi heard l’expression ’raining chats et chiens’. Quoi! How does that happen? Où do they go? Moi is worried pour Ealing et that mon census du chats will be ruined!”.
BlackBart it would be so lovely to say that we should all just be optimistic like cats and dogs, but these days it is super tricky. I think that is why we like animal posts so much. Thanks Sophie and all her animal friends (including flappy flappies).
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, optimist of Ealing, said when interviewed “mon père called moi ‘une silly girl’. Moi is not vraiment. Moi knows moi is unlikely to catch un flappy flappy, mais there is une petite chance, et moi has beaucoup de fun trying”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, most famous dog of Ealing, said when interviewed “moi is une socialite moi is starting to be très bonne at le socialising avec autre chiens, moi got un peu excited et mon père said ‘non et calme’ moi is going en vacances cette semaine avec ma famille moi can’t wait”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, super model (in waiting), said when interviewed, “moi can pose pour une photo dans toutes les situations. Moi always looks moi’s most innovative et belle, moi knows moi’s angles, moi could even look un peu bit like Janey Godley at un course de golf”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC News, said when interviewed “moi très likes it quand les femmes get recognised pour their success like les Lionesses at Rue de Downing. Moi hopes that le tour de bus demain is un proper cracker”.
Sophie asked me to reply to you Marlene. Davey is indeed Sophie’s nephew and is formerly known as “le monstre de porridge”. He is also a hopeful model for TRESemmé and other hair care products. He really loves and trusts his sister.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, proud supporter of the Lionesses, said when interviewed, “moi is proper chuffed avec les femmes d’Angleterre, moi is très confident ma nièce, qui moi adores, will proper rock at le foot. Elle is vrai good avec at le management de l’équipe. Davey does what she says”.
Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “moi advised les Lionesses to put le ball dans le net, et they did. Moi doesn’t enjoy le penalty shootouts mais they were magnifique, moi is proud, moi thinks Sarina Wiegman is proper excellent”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “moi très adores it when les femmes d’Angleterre do l’equalising, et moi likes l’expression ‘back of le net’. Moi thinks les Lionesses should de beaucoup of that”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, daughter of an economist, said when interviewed “moi understands why Waitrose does not deliver to chez nous by plane, it’s très expensif et les gens d’Ealing will get hurt or deady. Moi thinks use of les camions is très better pour la distribution de la nourriture”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, recent convert to classical music, said when interviewed “moi thinks mon père should speak to le Brentford FC, et maybe some berocca musique should be played avant le match. Moi thinks it is très inspiring”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, BBC Proms watcher, said when interviewed “ma mère is super right, this berocca musique is très belle et dramatique. Moi vrai likes it”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, proud daughter, said when interviewed “mon père’s (et autres) poddy poddy about le Parkinson’s has been super nominated pour un prix, moi is très proper chuffed. Moi would like une saucisse et beaucoup de fromage to celebrate”.
Excellent work BlackBart. Excellent work.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, live football watcher, said when interviewed “moi is très confused who should moi support so les femmes d’Angleterre do le winny? Moi needs moi’s pères help, ma mère is très rubbish at le foot, she is très excellent at supply et demand thingies et writing livres”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, happy daughter, said when interviewed “moi is très pleased ma mère is at chez nous, moi has beaucoup de stuff to do le parlé, moi would like to confirm bleu is moi’s couleur après les chiens, et moi aussi thinks that doing le starvey starvey dans Gaza is très evil”.
NEWS:Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, indignant walker, said when interviewed “mon père is wrong, those chiens weren’t cheeky they were rude! If mon père could speak chien as well as moi speaks human he would know they said moi’s harness is an ugly couleur. Moi thinks it’s parfait et sets off moi’s yeux”.
Thank you fullerem. I try to tell the truth as does Sophie. Her parents discourage her from suspect water but she likes puddles but won’t drink from rivers. Wow Thames Water, shame on you.
Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of women’s football, said when interviewed “moi thinks this has suddenly become super très exciting”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, responsible citizen, said when interviewed “moi would like to clarify, moi likes l’eau de puddle, mais moi lives à Londres, et moi would never drink from une rivière, moi watches BBC News, les rivières are plein de merdy merdy et that can make you très vommy vommy”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, connoisseur, said when interviewed “l’eau de puddle can be très tasty. Les chiens, moi en particulier, have refined palates, moi thinks that les gens are plus simple in their tastes. Moi asked mon père to at least try l’eau de puddle, mais he said ‘non merci’”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC Sports News, said when interviewed “moi doesn’t get why gens would be meany meany to Jess Carter, moi is beaucoup du coleurs, moi’s derrière is blanche, moi’s visage is blanche, brun et noire. Moi thinks racisty gens should juste do le thinking”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, rational daughter, said when interviewed “ma mère is indeed très hardworking. She is une top intellectualiste et does beaucoup d’intellectuallising. Moi is only une starter level intellectualiste so moi can take it plus easy et hang avec mon père”.
The internet is very fast.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC News, said interviewed “moi would like to clarify moi’s earlier message, moi is not confused about what is happening dans Gaza, moi is confused about what is not happening to stop it”.
Me too.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of BBC News, said when interviewed “moi is confused, moi juste heard that israélien soldiers avec beaucoup de guns felt threatened by un crowd de hungry gens et decided to do les shooty shooty of les gens sans weapons or flour après telling them to go là”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, exhausted watcher of international sport, said when interviewed “moi is going sleepy bobos”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live football, said when interviewed “moi didn’t go et read un livre avec ma mère, this foot is très proper exciting! Moi is supporting les franglaise in extra temps, moi doesn’t know if that is bon pour l’Angleterre or not, mais moi is une Francophile”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live football, said when interviewed “moi is normalement une Francophile, mais moi doesn’t know what is le best pour les femmes d’Angleterre. Moi needs to parlé avec mon père et mon oncle Si or go read avec ma mère et forget about this et be plus clever.”
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, wise planner, said when interviewed “moi was juste trying to get les sleepy bobos in la banque, moi understands that Les Proms start ce soir et is on la télé pour semaines. Moi hopes they do Monsieur Mahler in his jamaïquain phase. Moi adores his reggae style”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “d’accord it wasn’t parfait, mon père is right, mais les femmes did le winney winney not like les blokey blokeys”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “moi really likes l’equalisers. This is très proper exciting”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “moi’s journaliste cliente vrai likes les petits sandwiches avec le cured poisson. Nous want les femmes d’Angleterre to do beaucoup de goaly goaly”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, delighted daughter, said when interviewed “mon père is très proper happy avec le petition. Moi would like to say merci to everyone who did le writey writey. Moi is maintenant going to have beaucoup de snacks de top drawer including des saucisses ”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, kindly daughter, said when interviewed “mon père was une très silly saucisse aujourd’hui. Tant pis! Moi will give him un grand cuddle et beaucoup de la bisses when he comes back to chez nous. Moi will make him très happy”.
Today in 1789 a mob stormed the Bastille fortress in Paris. The spectre of that moment has loomed over incompetent authoritarians presiding over unequal and unjust societies ever since.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, recent enthusiast of different cars, said when interviewed “moi went dans une nouvelle voiture et it was très interesting, it had un smell of autre chiens. Moi knew moi was going somewhere très exciting. Moi had un excellent jour. Moi can’t wait to tell ma mère”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, socialite, said when interviewed “moi had moi’s première soirée avec beaucoup de chiennes. Juno introduced moi to some of her autre amies (moi is, bien sûr, her best amie), moi was un peu shy at first as moi is une Lady, mais it was super fun! Merci Juno!”
I play out Wimbledon 2025 with the classic BBC Wimbledon theme ‘Sporting Occasion’ by Arnold Steck.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, watcher of live women’s football, said when interviewed “moi knows that les femmes d’Angleterre are going to do le winny winny, mais moi doesn’t want les femmes de Pays de Galles to be humiliated”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, diligent census taker, said when interviewed, “moi counted trois chats ce matin! Moi feels that there is more chats in Ealing than moi thought. Zoot alors! Moi will keep counting before deciding on le plan d’action”.
NEWS: Miss S Coyle Cellan-Jones, BBC News watcher, said when interviewed “moi is watching l’homme d’orange parlé about those gens qui drowned in Texas, moi can’t imagine une grander tarte au porc. Moi thinks it could feed tous le gens at coupe d'europe de football féminin et at le concert d’Oasis”.
Ann you are so right, she is only a starter level intellectual but she is wise beyond her years and education. I think she has a greater chance of getting the Nobel peace prize than that orange bloke.