Also there’s some kind of French snowflake-bacteria serum that I can’t stop thinking about
Writer. Raconteur. Sex Icon. Intimacy coach through BestSelfPsych (but not a psychotherapist). Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere. USA born. Living in Serbia. Retired from adult due to difficulties accessing payment for lewd work
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Also there’s some kind of French snowflake-bacteria serum that I can’t stop thinking about
I’m going to go back next week and ask what I have to do to get them to order it
Get the skirt
Should, but we’re still trying to work through fucking vs ducking
In the beauty shop today “You have a wall of Korres. Can you order the bug bite thing? It’s really good” slate.com/life/2025/08... And also “this lash serum doesn’t have the big long word that turns your eyes brown, right?” “The pre-pro-prosta…” “With like four prefixes, yes” “No” “Great”
This *is* useful And there may be other useful bits in the replies to my post, depending on phone software But what I’m complaining about the absence of is a way to tell the phone that, at all times, I will be using a bastard mix of both English and Serbian
I’d expect far more of the characters with little hats (š, ć, č)
Everything in the world, around me, and around the people I love is crumbling (or worse) But In all seriousness At least there is a new Old Man’s War novel soon
How?
There should really be a way to tell autocorrect that you’re going to alternate between two specific languages
Ahh, Labor Day On which I labored Because I live in Europe, where, like most of everywhere else in the world besides the US, we do 1 May. www.illinoislaborhistory.org/the-haymarke...
Fapcyrkla 😹💀
Dobro, dobro. Uživala sam
In that case I absolutely adore this word
So was OP engaging in mockery of the people I was interacting with, or?
Please diagram this word for me because I think I like it
👸🏻🙋🏻♀️👋🏻💞
Thank you, thank you 😸
Aww, shucks—thank you
I was like… the overlap between Polish and Serbian isn’t huuuuge but this is more confusing than usual. Slang, got it. Also hiiiiii
Polski jezik?
Thank you 🥰💕
Just call me Sniffles the Itchy
I’m already on a doctor-prescribed double dose of antihistamines for stress hives (Yes, I rarely comment on the state of the world, my country of origin, or of residence, but boy howdy do I feel the pressure) But the approximately 38 hours in the wilderness has caused an incredible allergy sitch
Never tried it but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in the world has it as part of a recurring burlesque act
I did not notice any sense of nicotine absorption (but, again, no trained medical professional has usefully commented thus far) The shower coffee sobbing smoke feels cooler, the inadvisable pussy parlor performance is just a spectacle.
I mean, yeah, that makes sense
Thank you, thank you
My gut says this is not accurate, but I doubt I’ll ever find a gyno willing to do a comparison
😸
It is a very risqué and obscure party trick Every doctor I’ve ever asked about associated risks reacts like a circuit breaker flipped in their brain So I figured it was probably best not to write, and circulate, a step by step guide Especially when the point was to help someone reduce queefing
I owe someone a pitch for something I am excited to write My eyeballs are burning after writing two HTDI columns for Slate today Including a whole digression into the abdominal movements people use to smoke with their vaginas WHICH, PROBABLY, NO ONE SHOULD DO in the end, I cut that digression
He is SO PRETTY
I spent two days near and in a river I smell like it I am happy And need a shower
😹 just another moment in the cycle of fashion co-opting BDSM
For one night only, I will have physical polaroids from my series Peep Show on display in a secret room full of treasures 💎 Enlarged printed polaroid reproductions will also be on display for the month of September. Copies of my book Polaroid Vol. 1 will also be available for purchase and signing!
@raindegrey.bsky.social
It was fantastic, and is (as of my last checking) totally free on the interwebs
I just told my friends That I am planted (at the particular local bar) like a menstruating palm frond This makes me miss Ian Hill and the Althaar crew Which was a great indie theater podcast about a guy who ends up as roommates with an alien In a universe where Earth is the Ohio of the universe
Right? I empathized with both
Ugh, I just unironically said “sexology”
I read a whole book—‘Magnificent Sex’—in an attempt to understand where the advice seeker was coming from The book shed no insight on the letter, but it was a fantastic read and very affirming of the values I approach sexology with Latest for @slate.com slate.com/advice/2025/...
Bits of the discourse or bits I’ve dropped over the years of my own adventure?
I will not wade into the new wave of social media discourse on homeschooling As of 42 minutes ago I am very busy menstruating And I do not have a current blogging home, and this is really long-form stuff But, ugh, mmmmmph, grrrr, do I have so many things to say
In the year 2025, I think enough people are aware of the private account option on Instagram that it can broadly be assumed to be a choice to leave a personal profile publicly accessible?
Agreed—it’s transparent and outrageous. Exceptions to this dismissal routine are rare I suspect you might enjoy @leshawinstitute.bsky.social ‘s work. I’ve had particularly great experiences with Delphine
There’s the other thing where workers who also have degrees, or even a certain level of educated-sounding speech, are dismissed as too privileged to be worth listening to
Whaaaaaat
I can’t even get into my own steam because I consistently fail the captcha to the point where they block my domain because it looks like a ddos
Since this came out I've been so bitterly amused by how *much* of my stuff is here. Folks have spent so much energy declaring my work inferior and me a "DEI hire"... but then they stole every book, story, and even interview to feed their plagiarism machines. And yeah, I'm adding my name.
My first thought was “I can tell my period is close because I’m chugging water like I’m trying to compensate for a leak” Second thought was “by ‘leak’ I think I mean ‘all the 30-90 second bouts of crying over cuteness, horrors, or itchiness”
It’s already been weird You do strongly resemble Pedro Pascal
This was fairly useful and I appreciate it
My book and my article for Porn Studies Journal are Since I gave up my Atlantic subscription due to too much Trump coverage, does anyone know whether LibGen consented to AI training use?
Ignore it or report it
It’s so fun to me how Slavic languages overlap so much in words but not much in alphabets? And I think my grandma was threatening to whoop the TV dinner’s ass? Or maybe the oven’s?
😹🤭
This is extremely useful, thank you
Nope nope nope total nope
This sounds safer than scissors? Serbia doesn’t necessarily have everything, especially not everywhere, but there’s a pretty good chance I can hunt one down if it comes to it Would you mind describing what a mat cutter does, looks like, any identifying features?
It’s reeeeeally not right. Like, I think about it and my organism does a whole response akin to when I have to deal with a cockaroach
I want to “like” this because it’s a reply from you, but it feels really weird to like the content of this discussion
In case you’re curious, she asked what size of dog and I said “za mačak… dupe” Which translates (directly and with horrible grammar) to “for cat… ass” but it’s like a fairly cute/soft version of ass And dupe was the only Serbian word I knew until 2008. My grandma used to say it in the kitchen. 🤷🏻♀️
It really does kind of seem like they’re headed to, essentially, only the very independently wealthy have agency? Which is concerning to say the least
I am now in possession of both a Furminator and a flea comb… much thanks to the people who replied, here’s hoping one, or a combination, spares the little guy the experience of having his butt shaved by the vet Also ⭐️ for the saleswoman who didn’t bat an eyelash when I said it was “for cat butt”
Widget has some little matted tufts on his butt. He loves having his back and sides brushed but is very against having the back of his rear brushed. I’d like to resolve this before we reach the stage of having the vet shave it. I have been trying to work them out with my fingers to no avail. Tips?
Considering that a year ago my conversational acumen ended at what I would eat, how a person is doing, and explaining that my language skills are limited This is immense progress And they say nothing other than infections and babies are sexually transmitted…
When I have free time I go to the local coffee/sparkling water/wine/rakija shop and talk with whoever has time in my decreasingly horrific Serbian My range of subjects increases but my grammar remains awful I think the best thing I managed to say today was “Ljudi mora da žive u životu”
@maeveynot.bsky.social I just want to say that “being undone and redoing” sounds so much like “unlearning and learning” which has been a cornerstone of my education in a formal way for many many years and it is beautiful
Thank yoooou
I need a pretty sexually adventurous and experienced Gen Zer for the @slate.com How To Do It column that needs to be turned in on Friday I don’t know any Pls halp (This can take the form of volunteering, reaching out to your network back channel, or reposting) Can be anonymous if needed
Oh… that category of self-soothing is being deployed regularly to get me through this time There’s definitely a ultra sized packet of chocolate in the cabinet calling my name, I’m on my third glass of wine because tomorrow is a half-day for work, and I’m currently talking fun topics with friends
I… of all the subgroups of sex workers, by the combined metrics of strength of networking and ability to collaborate, it always seemed like the pro dommes were the most united already?
I will definitely have the treat of doing what I think of as “my actual work” and only that, for some period of time This will be sufficient
I just want to promote the Fleshlights licensed from my body/brand and help folks who are trying to find sex ed info or want to talk out their sex troubles How… *How*… have we arrived at transfer pricing analysis firms?
Apparently my new “hobby”, by which I mean “tasks done after reasonable work hours on top of the day to day labor that brings in payments and supports the organization or function of the company” is risk management and KYC procedures for a firm we need to engage. Entrepreneurship…
Whatever the construction site next door is up to in the past week involves a fascinating and ever changing array of noises Today it is reminiscent of the edge of a tropical storm The daylight is also cool-toned and low
Good morning (from Belgrade, where it is only technically still morning) I have space on my roster for one or two more intimacy coaching clients www.bestselfpsych.com/coaches My How To Do It columns for Slate are a pretty good preview of my attitudes towards sexuality
Isn’t academia supposed to reach higher heights of “we know nothin’ about nothin’” as it progresses?
Having just sprayed (THE spray that I can’t remember the name of) into my hair tonight Knowing the awful wash out is coming tomorrow I might be better off with straight corn starch
Thank you kindly
I didn’t have ten pages worth 🫣
To be clear, the stressor is my cycle and I just find it absurd that the ring can’t connect the dots
It’s… having anything touching my skin for extended periods is annoying, but the data is worth it at this time
Wooot, I love a chance to talk with @chelseagsummers.bsky.social and it’s a bonus that the record will be shared
Oura 3
The biotracker I use to monitor sleep also tracks my cycle It does a surprisingly good job of predicting cycle phase and start of menstruation What it fails to do, though, is draw the connection between “signs of something stressing my body” and the impending menses which it is well aware of
It’s pretty bread-forward and the bread is often good Was I too covid-addled to send you to the Pekara?
Do you consider Serbia to be a “bread country”?
Water fountain is complicated because the supply chain for filters is unreliable here for the model they like, and other models available have been rejected (one was probably due to a very strange blue disco light) I’ve moved the bowl to a convenient spot further from the food Thank you all
Separate entrance, own bathroom with a shower, and high performance sound proofing seem like the crucial minimum aspects here, while little kitchenette seems like more of a would-be-nice
@rajandelman.bsky.social OH. Wow. Yep. This feels very significantly accurate
Now Widj (the cat) is pushing his water bowl out towards the middle of the room This is a new behavior and he’s done it twice today A firm and purposeful relocation motion with his paw It can’t live in the middle of the floor I am open to any thoughts, ideas, or other civil input
I have nothing particularly useful to say in this moment, but you’ve added another layer to something that’s been percolating for years in the back of my mind about languages/cultures/identities/how identities shift in different languages/what different cultures consider identity
I You know I do tend to do that
There *is* a difference in how USAian broadly tend to approach online discourse, and a word for that would be incredible “Hoining” has a kind of feel to it that fits. Onomatopoeia But it needs a dictionary-sized definition of the difference in approach, and my brain is currently pudding
Is it a hyper specific approach that’s missing? Like narrow definition of left plus catering specifically to men who are interested in women? Did he encounter the discoverability problem and not realize it’s happening? Did he favor reaction-inducing in an attempt to circumnavigate said problem?
Since the writer of the article that set this discussion off describes himself as a journalist, I’m surprised that he chose sweeping general statements about complete absence rather than look for, and find at least one of, the many people who do address this topic Genuinely curious as to why
For instance, hello! I’ve been interested in sex for a quarter of a century, working with it in some capacity for two decades, and writing about it professionally for over ten years, and I am just now saying hello to you—a person who says things I find smart and interesting about the subject
This is why I’m hoping it’s a word people use So I can work it into conversations