Heâll be rolled out like Captain Pike from *Star Trek* to announce heâs invading Venezuela
Old Professor from the Smoky Mountains; has read way too many books. Believes history is our future. Can predict the weather & grow better đ than most mortals
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Heâll be rolled out like Captain Pike from *Star Trek* to announce heâs invading Venezuela
âEmerging warfightingly victorious in what shall be evermore known as the Battle of the Bushesâ đł
Bad technique; they may just start blowing up each other
I know I can
Corpus delecti
Iâm a gonna pray on this
Tired of hearing all this fake news about Trumpâs deathâI just saw him on the golf course holding Arnold Palmerâs big balls while talking with the Lindbergh baby & Jimmy Hoffa on his flip phone đ
Not sure we should feel totally reassured by the latest *totally believable* White House press release claiming Trump spent the weekend free climbing El Captain at Yosemite after felling a grove of redwoods with his bare hands, then building a big beautiful coal powered battleship with the lumber
Occamâs razor saysâyes.â But also a very evil moron
Dammit all to hell, if the courts donât stop this latest humanitarian outrage, American citizens better step in & stop it
Best indicator of Trumpâs declining health is the lavish, cringeworthy praise spouted by his minions. These increasingly absurd tributes are in inverse proportion to his actual competence & are designed not to reflect reality, but to prop up his ego as Drumpfâs already limited faculties crash & burn
Sure you Nazis have enough backup to handle this unarmed citizen? He might have a bazooka under that cap
Looking morbid
This incompetent crank needs to be relentlessly hounded out of office before he kills us all
Mobilized the local Militia a la the Minutemen of yore to repel the tyrannical invaders
Getting in shape for upcoming winter offensive clearing out the town dump
In the final climactic scene of Joseph Conradâs novel *Heart of Darkness* (on which *Apocalypse Now* was based), one of the mad Colonelâs minions memorably intones âMr. Kurtzâhe dead.â Posted for no particular reason đ
How will we even know if this ambling, braindead pre-cadaver is dead? đ§ââïž
{this message sponsored by United Infectious Diseases of America, Diphtheria & Measles, co-chair}
Close: heâs one of the worldâs foremost blithering idiots & should be an âexportâ
I know right now. Oui, oui mon amis
Watch for exploding đ©!
Although it seems contradictory, the hypocrisy of âsmall government conservativesâ supporting federal government meddling in state & local affairs is not surprising: the far right objects to government control ONLY WHEN ITâS DONE BY LIBERALS. Theyâre perfectly happy to oppress the freedoms of others
Man currently in charge of our nationâs health
Heâs poisoning Trump, isnât he?
âAccountability on the transgender front?â These people are nothing but raging fascists
Looks like putting God back in schools didnât work out so well. Try putting God back in harder, I guessâand make sure heâs carrying an assault rifle next time
No to all these demands. Counteroffer: get the fuck out of Ukraine
Thoughts & prayers for your sordid soul as it goes straight to hell, lying Baghdad Barbie đđ»
When are we going to start deporting native born white guys instead of brown immigrants? Theyâre clearly causing most of our violence
Is this the National Guard Commandant? My lawn needs mowing & the kids wonât take out the garbageâcould you send over a couple of battalions? I just declared a National Emergency, if that helps
Clearly, we need to arm kindergartners
WE MUST PROTECT OUR PRECIOUS GUNS!
Have a ham sandwich with your box of whine đ·
Understood
In a related development, Department of Defense will be rebranded as âDepartment of Massaging Trumpâs Fragile Ego, Yogurt Shop Security, & Warfighting Trash Removalâ
Among other things, move to Canada
What happens when small children discover the concept of âriversâ
The few, the proud, the pick-up crew
đ€ź
Who are these clowns?đ€Ą
Latest bulletin from the ministry of Doublespeak. Please adjust your Newspeak thought patterns accordingly
Hush, Rasputinâand prepare to retreat to the Urals
Maybe. But sure as hell not this demented, Incompetent old fool
Nobody wears watches anymore, you dorky relic from the 90âs
If they send this guy to Uganda, every single lawless MAGA SOB involved should rot in jail
Dems win by getting down & dirty like Trumpâs fascists
Nahâjust when youâre a POS like Judge Box oâ Whine
Only to Nazi colored đ
Such carnage
Of Cracker Barrel? Call out the toothless Gravy Militia
Lord no. Just that Iâve never seen the Balts so unified & determined, and the EU is supporting them more than ever. I donât thing the steadily weakening Russian Empire can bully them effectively this time
Poke harder; the âbearâ is about to hibernate
Trump U, apparently. Either get this flaming ignoramous the History Channel or demote him to pool boy
Why not just call it âHappy Jolly Rainbow Funtime?â
Not the Civil War. Not WWII. JD Couchhumper is a flaming ignoramus
They donât care; for fascists, the Constitution is just a convenient rag to brandish whenever it suits their partisan purposes
One way to understand whatâs being done to our federal government under Trump is to look at the corrupt business world from whence Trump crawled; itâs a hostile takeover of the federal governmentâs immense âcorporate assets,â & parcelling it out to his cronies (the same way Romney made his fortune)
Why a smarmy sack of đ© âheâs already measuring the White House windows for new curtains
Putinâs not that crazyâhe canât even handle the Ukrainian Army, let alone the enraged, united armies of the Baltic states (plus Finland & Sweden)
Delusional lunatic, đ§ rotting rapidly
âYour spray tan & combover look spectacular today, Herr Drumpfâ
Least entertaining S&M act ever. Geez, Vladâat least throw a bone at Trump once in a while
Been huffing kryptonite, little man of tin?
This is beyond pathetic
Time to jam up the streets in our millions & stop this un-American fascist shit in its tracks. You want to roll up & down our streets in your tanks & humvees? Youâll have to run over us as we jam your treads, cowardly Gestapo thugs
Gestapo monsters in action
âLe etat câest moi,â says the âïž đ
âFascismâ is less an ideology than a set of aggressive power plays, all of which are happening now in the U.S. in real time, right before our eyes; itâs an unholy alliance between corrupt state power, obscenely rich corporations & the religious establishment. Only power of the people can save us
Slavery âno big dealâ is the essence of fascism
Flood away, fascist losers
Thatâs exactly why Trump put a spineless, totally unqualified stooge in charge of the DOD: he expects âhisâ military to enforce his tyrannical rule
Because theyâre cowardly Fascist thugs
Depose, arrest, charge, try, convict, incarcerate
Butt out, Borat
All hail our next Emperor in Waiting, Jimmie Barrow the Exalted Couch Humper
From the American side only. So now immigrants will have a harder time climbing back over the wall, fleeing Trumpâs fascism. Typical Trump âgeniusâ
Then stop being a fascist apologist
Fu*k these Nazi thugs. Why are these cowards wearing hoods & masks in the middle of a hot SoCal Summer?
We know; thatâs why you no longer have a career
More likely under that big old âresolute deskâ over younder in the corner, next to the mop đȘŁ
Iâm much more worried about immigrant ingrates like Little Narco who, after being blessed with the invaluable privilege of admission to the land of opportunity, then selfishly try to pull the ladder up behind them
Itâs kind of job requirement, isnât it? đđ»
Essential in preventing history from repeating itself is to honestly come to terms with the horrors of the pastâand we havenât even come close to facing up to the horrors of slavery. And we sure as hell donât need white folks telling minorities when itâs âtime to move onâ
Not if the fascists keep winning, Senator
I understand Whiskey Pete needs enhanced security to follow him around to drag him out of the gutters, but assigning the entire Tenth Mountain Division to babysit him seems extreme
Fire all Hoagies, Commander Sulu!
In tonightâs episode of *Paw Patrol*: âDeputy Dogshit Soils his Diaper.â In color
Did you hear the joke about James Dobson dying & going straight to hell? Thatâs itâthatâs the whole joke đ
Alternate headline: Putin enjoys good laugh by kicking Special simpering agent Krasnov in the nut shack
Why is Charlie calling Trump a cockroach? Whateves: welcome to the Resistance, Mr. Kirk!
More like âPaw Patrol,â Deputy Dogshit
Nice warm room waiting for him in hell đ„
Smoke if you got âem, Frau Blondi đŹ
Like hell; Most Trump voters wanted EXACTLY what theyâre getting & many still do. Weâre just trying to console ourselves by pretending theyâve had a change of â€ïž
Who would have thought that Bingo Bongo would be the one with a teeny weeny bit of ethics left? Shows you how low Frau Blondi must beâsheâs not only figuratively down on her knees before Daddy Trump, but quite possibly LITERALLY
Stall, stall, stall, and stall some more. If only we had some American diplomats with at least minimal awareness of Russian history & diplomacy
But not nearly enough
Truly terrifying; especially when we realize theyâre just getting started. Hard to see much hope for restoring democracy after another 3.5 years of this runaway tyranny
Fight your way out, Texas Dems; we have your backs. BREAK QUORUM AT ALL COSTS