Budd Dwyer time
Get in the bloody robot bucko
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Budd Dwyer time
For most people, “crime” actually means “seeing a homeless person or a busker”
That guy rules so hard
Rudy Giuliani absolutely did not try to shortchange a sex worker and then was pursued by her colleagues, don’t you dare suggest such a thing
(pointing at my bed like sleepy Babe Ruth)
LMAO that guy was a fucking piece of shit. RIP bozo
My ancestors volunteered to crush people like Ashli Babbitt beneath tank treads, and they were rightfully called heroes for it
What’s the difference between an Austrian and a German? An Austrian doesn’t feel the need to pretend to feel bad about the Holocaust
There should be a philosopher who is also a cool biker dude
I’m running for Congress on a platform of digging up Ashli Babbitt’s bones and putting them on trial
Adam, I hope you and all other Patriots join me in digging up her bones and putting her on trial
[Bill Cassidy looking down at corpse of chicken he has fucked to death]: That chicken should not have been fucked that hard
Fascists are all cowards. Never forget!
Pritzker tells these freaks to get bent and now they’re all so fucking scared
If he wanted to be really funny he’s become a serious member of the Senate, taking initiatives in hearings
It’s going to be so fucking funny when Stavvy either wins an Oscar or becomes a Senator
The call it The Blind because of Robertson’s blindness to age of consent laws
Can confirm!
Trump voters are against it because that would mean they would be held accountable for their actions, and a central tenant of movement conservatism is that consequences are for Other People
He’s never been particularly insightful, but he wasn’t this *consistently* bone headed
Conservative man proudly afraid of cities
I look forward to picketing the funeral of this dumb hick before I throw his body in the garbage in front of his family :)
Governor, please dispatch one of your loyal retainers and a retinue of horse archers to DC
I bet he can’t even dual wield
No I’m pretty sure they’re Republicans
I’ll make an exception for going on long walks, so long as they are doing it on short piers
Pedocon theory remains undefeated
RFK Jr. thinks Parasite Eve was a peer reviewed article submitted to the Lancet
Republicans shouldn’t be allowed to be doctors tbh
After the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, Pope Leo retweeted this from Senator Chris Murphy: “Your cowardice to act cannot be whitewashed by thoughts and prayers.”
Update: it got funny again
Oh I see you haven’t seen the new season
You go apologize to my good friend Bandit Heeler right now
If I had a nickel for every time I had a reason to talk to somebody I barely know about Mennocchio like a hyper kid talking about his favorite Pokémon, I would have a surprising amount of nickels
I don’t think the president who publicly sorts Good Jews from Bad Jews is actually fighting against antisemitism, and it’s insane that anyone takes his “fighting antisemitism” pretext for repression at face value. Looking at you, New York Times, and you, Columbia University.
Losing it to a candidate who, despite her moderation, is a world-class hater of Republicans
From My Cold Cut Hands
It’s good as hell. Gimme that and some MSG and some garlic and that’s a damn party
Marketed *explicitly* as a superior alternative to therapy!
Reeks of Francis actually
I too would tremble before the Son of Tengri and builder of the affordable but luxurious Hyatt Regency of Skulls
This is, for at least many of the “arrests,” absolutely true and Krasner isn’t just talking out of his ass for clout
If I was there they would’ve moved. I DO NOT tolerate this shit
Pritzker makes his speech and an hour later Trump grovels and says he probably isn’t going to send troops to Chicago because of a lack of respect or something
I mean Pritzker may have just scared Trump enough to make him call of invading Chicago which is pretty significant!
Our Khan’s military prowess is so great that he can rout entire armies without firing a single arrow!
chicken $300 fingers $150 rent $800 ketchup ingredients $3,600 utility $150 someone who is good at the budgets please help me. my tallow is dying
Pritzker is describing Trump’s fascist invasion of Chicago with total moral and political clarity. It’s an example that every other Democrat in the country should follow.
Illinois Gov. Pritzker vows to pursue Trump officials who participate in an illegal National Guard deployment to Chicago: "If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me - not time or political circumstance - from making sure that you face justice under our constitutional rule of law."
Elections will also end under the Khan, but they will be replaced by his benevolent rule under the protection of Tengri
Oh heavens no, in America we don’t eat Prime Ministers that would be barbaric
Every neighborhood in the Arlington corridor should be its own state
Broke: American Revolution Woke: Amerimaidan Bespoke: American Beeeldenstorm
Sir I’m sorry but you know some dumb fucking people
That argument came from Ensign himself, right?
Let loose on ‘em! These people do not matter!
If I see someone in a fucking MAGA hat I confront them and say some of the most horrendous things you can think of. And I’m a nice guy!
What we should actually be doing is forbidding Republicans from owning or renting homes, forcing them to live in their natural habitats like sewers and ditches exactly 1001 feet away from school zones
Walz comes across as a genuinely nice guy but it’s clear that he Fucking Hates Republicans (laudatory)
Using a slightly different shade of blue? What if the stripes were eggshell instead of white?
And this assumption is a cornerstone of their identity! They aren’t going to love when it gets thrown in their face!
I was at a karaoke bar in Copenhagen back in November and somebody did Bella Ciao, and let me tell you if we could get three bars full of people with that energy Republicans would be chased out of DC permanently
Red Sox didn’t lose the 2003 ALCS, they were playing the long game and are winning
*can’t
well she did not consider pedophilia inappropriate so what does this even mean
The news about “deportation” broke several hours later
Not mutually exclusive
the regime is weaker than they want you to believe
Their memorials are history. Ours are political. Because as always, there are two sexualities - straight, and political. Two genders - male, and political. Two religions - Christian, and political. Two races - white, and political.
That and mass shootings were bad for morale/were correlated with the perpetrators becoming severe alcoholics
Removing the memorial to the 49 innocent people killed in the 2016 terrorist attack on the Pulse nightclub, because a rainbow is too political. Restoring Confederate monuments and renaming military bases after Confederates because, um, honoring armed treason in defense of slavery isn’t political?
Bill Corbett, legend of public access television, has embraced the Khan. An auspicious year is ahead.
Oh man Kurt would’ve had some stuff to say today
Congrats to Stavvy on his new role and ethnicity
John Cena is incredible at expressing things with his face. Like an all time great at the craft
They thanked me for submitting a tribute :)
IDK how many ways she can keep saying the same thing. She's hoisting the red flag about as far as it's possible to hoist. A SCOTUS member is out there telling you the court is no longer a court of law.
She should honestly probably have her child taken away from her!
Byron Donalds thinks Jesus is the guy in the Cracker Barrel logo
Fascists are cowards who fold when you push back
They will be when I bring my massive projector to his funeral
I shouldn’t have to cross the street to keep a Republican from molesting my kids either, which seems more urgent tbh
it seems like they have thriving institutions and then you look into the Institute for the Abolition of Onanism and Usury ($1b in annual budget) and it turns out that it's just four guys and is funded by Ray Drywall, grandson of the guy who invented drywall
President Mall Ninja
World’s Least Evil Republican
This means serial murdering is *much* more correlated with attending the RNC than with porn consumption
He was a delegate at the 1968 RNC. Hand to God
Ted Bundy was driven to kill because he was a delegate to the Republican National Convention (yes, really!)
Nah he’s too busy being **************************
President Pritzker will Federalize Trump's grave and charge people to piss on it. We'll solve the deficit in a year.
I’m more of a Cadaver Synod kind of guy
He can be buried in an unmarked plot in the middle of the Gobi. It doesn’t matter. I will find it.
One of the earliest targets for deportation during Trump I was Arab Christians!
He’s gotta look up to focus on the family now
Natty Boh is an S-tier dirt cheap beer
James Dobson won’t see your posts celebrating his death. But you know who will? Everybody that ever loved him or respected him. So please keep posting
Immigrant. We Matter. 