Installation of a third flagpole, patio heaters for the Rose Garden, gargoyle roof gutters, and public executions.
Installation of a third flagpole, patio heaters for the Rose Garden, gargoyle roof gutters, and public executions.
In a canoe, while playing football on skis
Imagine a world run by Elon Musk. Then imagine a world where men grew up to be emotionally mature, secure, and well-adjusted.
I'm rooting for that blood clot as much as anyone but I feel we also need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that that major medical event may turn out to be a facelift.
Rudy Giuliani has been released from hospital after doctors realized he just looks like that
I guess the National Guard will be going to quell the mean streets of New Hampshire next.
"We'll make him a hero before we off him" vibes.
A basket of deplorables was way too diplomatic, and a vast rightwing conspiracy, on point.
Judging by the shadows, it's a super loose-fitting hat too, for whatever reason. Like, "Ok grandpa, gonna gently put this cap on your head so it doesn't hurt your sutures..."
It'll be whoever Emperor Palpathiel appoints as his puppet.
ikr? And the shadow suggests a weirdly loose fit, like a fitted baseball cap might hurt him.
As vile as he is, it amazes me even more that a woman looked at that and said, "I'll legally bind myself to you and let you impregnate me three times."
Satan: Welcome, Donald! While I will obviously not be honoring your preposterous request for a massage from Miss Teen USA, I found the perfect person to help you pass kidney stones for eternity. [Snaps finger] Stephen Miller, bring in Harvey Weinstein!
I like presidents who are not so fragile that they can shake hands without bruising. Putin must have a very powerful handshake to have caused that much trauma to his hand.
The extreme mid-ness of her photos notwithstanding, when does this pharmacist/lawyer/civil servant find the time to attend all these events sometimes in the middle of the day? Can you imagine the outcry if Anthony Fauci had had a side hustle as a wedding photographer?
Hm. Can't qwhite put my finger on it.
💯 Trump cares about optics and the optics of this are not good for him. The images will get picked up by media and amplified around the world. That's where the power to get under his thin skin is. I don't know if a general strike is possible at this point, but that would do it to.
And stop subsidizing the red states.
... and Epstein.
Wondering the same thing. CECOT, Uganda, Eswatini, where they can be more easily disappeared.
We'll see how much he loves FL when he has his first real health crisis, if he doesn't fly like a bat out of hell to a city in a blue state. FL is one of the lowest-ranked healthcare systems in the U.S. Good luck with that triple bypass!
The guy golfs every weekend and stays at his own resorts at taxpayer expense. He has full-scale spas on the properties he owns. I wouldn't call it not going on vacation, I'd call it being semi-permanently on vacation.
The little teeny bruise on the little teeny hand holding the scepter 😚 👌
My cartoon for issue 1640 of @privateeyenews.bsky.social, out now
Just on the comparative aesthetic merits alone, he doesn't even do it well.
It's straight up jealousy. Cities have not only NOT declined but flourished, along with minorities who contributed to their success. Those that fled want cities to fail in order to be right. They're too small to admit they might've been wrong about the people and institutions they hate.
Assuming the media and tech oligarchs are going to let us have a free and fair one.
According to a YouGov survey conducted in 2024, about 35% of Americans expressed mixed to positive views of Hitler, so.
Yup. She shook down Netflix for $28 million to pretend they're making a documentary about her that will never be produced. It's just another grift.
Haven't you heard, she's fluent in 5 programming languages, including TreaSON.
Exactly. Pretty sure he's quite familiar with Goebbel's propaganda tactic that a big lie repeated often enough will eventually mislead people into believing it's true. Vance isn't stupid, he amoral to the point of evil.
Imagine the impact on medical equipment. MAGA loves talking about how Dems turned US into a third world nation. Good luck as you stroke out or wait extra months for your diagnosis bc the MRI and CAT scan machines are down for months waiting on a part. Trump didn't hear you say thank you.
Slather a thick, sloppy schmear of some horribly mismatched foundation on his hand and it's perfect.
At this point in our preposterous timeline, I'm half-expecting Trump to threaten to send Russian troops in one of his drug-addled oral diarrhea rants and then to follow through with it. Think it can't happen? Think again.
"Shows little urgency" — nice to soft-pedal the hell out of it and bury the lede.
She's really milking that title for all it's worth isn't she. She really has no shame.
I hope good people are watching over her. She is so incredibly tough and brave but I fear for her safety.
I can't tell if this guy is cynical and playing dumb or is actually just that ignorant. I just know he's the most condescending prick in the administration and that's saying something in an administration that includes Stephen Miller.
Thank you for your service, IV inserter ("Gosh darn, I just can't access the vein, let me try over here...") and Pentagon makeup artist ("I'm sorry Mr. Trump, Mr. Hegseth used the last of the MAGA Tan Mom foundation, but I do have some Juggalo clown paint...").
To be fair, spackle comes in a limited palette.
Sometimes I think that's the most infuriating part of all of this. Not that American democracy came crashing down but that it did so in the sloppiest way possible, at the hands of a few oligarchs who stole power by getting religious nutjobs to worship a bunch of pedophiles.
There's no question whose side Big Hat Font McShitzalot is on, and it's not America's.
And that would just be about Hunter Biden's hand.
I've seen spackle that's a better match. Who applied it better?
Should probably include his super rich dad. Peddles nutrition supplements, obvs, and from the look of his obnoxious bio, apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I will never again wonder how the Nazis happened, how they justified and defended their crimes against humanity as "just doing my job," believing they were doing a service to Germany, and bureaucratic efficiency, or think Americans are above committing such atrocities.
... while in prison with the television permanently tuned into progressive / Never Trump channels. Long may he live in that state.
What is the German word for the feeling of watching an asshole who was happy to trample all over your rights when the going was good, get his just desserts from an even bigger asshole, and not knowing whether to begrudgingly stand up for him or shrug because he had it coming?
South Park, please get on this.
"But sir, we're white."
All this time I thought that was a McDonald's red fry box.
Here, fixed it.
Somewhere in South Park her melted face is chasing after Noem's.
"America sends Joe Jackson's maybe-bastard son to join Russia's off-brand version of Eurovision" may be the most on-brand thing ever for a Trump dictatorship. Just need 1 more stolen election and former allies to boycott the LA Olympics to make MAGA America's status as international pariah official.
I love this for their children once they're old enough to google their parents.
He's not even interested in safeguarding the safety of the American people. His whole purpose is to torpedo the agency. It's an inside job.
💯 And the fact that his ex-wife who filmed porn with him was also a french horn player, and lives in the compound with her current husband. I posted this elsewhere, but I really hope they went by "The Horny Duo" both musically and pornographically.
HBO, Netflix docs already in the pipeline.
His ex-wife and porn partner, who was also a French Hornist and Eastman grad, lives there with her current husband. I just need to know if they called themselves "The French Horny Duo" in their porn days bc if they didn't it really seems like a missed opportunity.
Over under that museums will have to cut a "deal" and use their endowments to purchase $Trump meme coin by 2026?
That's like celebrating streamlined chastity belts.
Speaking of museums, Epstein was active in that circuit, and donated over $300,000 to the Wexner Center for the Arts.
The only thing missing is Liberace furiously masturbating in the corner
Imagine flying 5000 miles to have an audience with this man and having to smile politely as that talking anus proudly shows you his baseball hat collection while your country's existence hangs in the balance. It's really giving Todd Alquist vibes.
😂 My submission: Yeast of Eden
Trump won Ohio three times so don't be so patronizing as to tell them what they didn't vote for. The voted for it. If they regret their vote now, that's a different story. But let's not confuse the two.
How much did they pay consultants to come up with that and will it outlast the Gap logo redesign?
What's below the crop? Is he crouched at the top of a staircase?
I have no idea what this guy is even going on about, but I'm going to guess he doesn't have enough to do on a weekend, no hobbies or interests, no walks to take or books to read or pets to pet or friends or family to occupy his time, that he's going on about whatever this is.
And wears adult diapers and smells like shit. Legacy media won't touch it, but a former Apprentice staffer who worked with him for years has broadcast it all over social media, and litigious Trump and Ambassador Mark Burnett haven't so much as made a peep in protest, so you know it's true.
Someone should do a side-by-side of his and Trump's tweets and be like, "Explain to me. What do you find immature about it? The all-caps? The insults? The bragging? The pettiness? Isn't imitation the sincerest form of flattery? So why do you not consider it flattering?"
Pregnant while MAGA.
Looks like the AI prompt they used for the middle one was "Give me an old timey illustration of Uncle Sam that bears a resemblance to George Clooney but not enough to get us sued."
An empty husk of a person so devoid of intelligence, originality and character that not only did she plagiarize another first lady and leave a subordinate to take the blame for it, she can't even figure out a way to sign her own name without aping her husband.
“He seemed to me very independent, very serious, but at the same time a boy is always vulnerable. He was very sweet. I’ll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture that I made. There was nothing behind it really,” Putin said, smiling.
Call Him Vladdy
We need to dog Vance about it on his vacations too as he goes on his umpteenth holiday. Every vacation is an attempt to distance himself from Epstein and use his family as a shield.
Amateur level: expert
What is this, his family's eighth luxury vacation since he's been in office? He and his wife were rich AF before they entered office, but Americans now have to pay for their entire family to live like Brahmin aristocrats? Let's see the receipts.
Putin is officially 5'7", and that's inflated by 2-5" by most estimates. Even if Trump were standing tall, does he look like he's 8" taller? Here's Putin with Kerry, who's 6'4"
Humpty Trumpty
You go, Alaska. Even if you're not attending a protest, you can wear a blue or yellow shirt today so that even as you go about your day, the parking lots, supermarkets, and malls will show solidarity against fascism.
I'm willing to bet that a good chunk of people faux-concerned over it have Mauviel copper pots in their kitchen for show that they never use. Real cooks, which Harris apparently is, don't criticize other cooks for investing in quality tools.
"Daddy, I want to grow up to be a pencil-necked bigot like you."
Everything is projection with this guy. This entire timeline could've been avoided with one hug from his father and a good therapist.
Weird how it never occurs to them to channel that energy into helping the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers build infrastructure and productive things that builder do, given that we have a Commander in Chief who is preoccupied with all things ballroom and interior design.
Willing to bet that product is also printed on demand and shipped from not-America.
I guess now would be a good time to drive around with your vat of homemade fermenting fish sauce
Is she filming a commercial for Tide.
Or maybe her lawyers just really hate her.
And this doesn't even get to the "MTG shoves Arby's down her pants" part of it.
GChellie 
sundevil.1984 
Carl Gibson 🍉 