Critical care nurse, USMC vet, lousy jiujiteiro, 40K & Necromunda dork, Twitter refugee
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I’m betting on number one. The DC NG ‘deployment’ has been a joke. Lots of soldiers wandering aimlessly around the mall and picking up trash, and none of the drama and bloodshed that ghouls like Miller were hoping for. They’re gonna try somewhere else.
My 48 year bladder loves the ease of my 4am pee with this setup.
Oh he’s ready. Ready to fuck us over and implement Yarvin’s fucking fever dream.
Eh, Miller is using Grandpa Mcranty to push his shitty white nationalist agenda just like the rest of them. He’ll pretend to mourn just like the rest of them and then carry on terrorizing people.
Those national guard non rates are really getting a taste of the active duty life on this dumbfuck ‘deployment’.
It’s gonna be weird as shit.Normal people celebrating, Trumpistas mourning, and Republican leadership being privately relieved while pretending to mourn.
The new Gee Dubya models are gorgeous but man some of them are a pain to assemble. The Bretonian Pegasus lord almost gave me a stroke.
we'll know it's for real when Fox News starts playing Lee Greenwood's rendition of "Swan Lake" on loop
Andrew peaked early. After this… what else is there?
Torn between excitement about his health issues and existential dread about having Peter Thiel’s cabin boy in the Oval Office.
Absolutely.
*Colonel* Lee. He was a Col. in the U.S. Army and an only a general in the traitor riftaf he helped lead to defeat.
Watching an Arliegh Burke run aground in the Potomac might be fun.
The Navy doesn’t even have any vehicles they can bring, other than, like, some forklifts and SeaBee dump trucks. Just rank after rank of disinterested sailors lollygagging along. This parade is going to be hilarious.
If he didn’t like the Army’s sloppy marching, wait tell he sees a gaggle of sailors tying to march followed up by, what, a couple of Seabee dump trucks?
Hopefully Pvt Snuffy, who’s shot a pistol a total of one time on a qual course three years ago, doesn’t ND his P320 into his foot just for the sake of looking more Warfightery for Fox news.
Well that settles it. If there’s someone I would trust not to cover up for a sexual predator, it’s Jim Jordan, moral paragon.
Always fun to see what the grifterati are pretending to be mad about on a given week.
Doubt this will still be going on. I was active duty, not guard, but I’m pretty sure they have to start paying the troops our full-time benefits if the orders go over 30 days, and we know how this administration feels about fucking over the military and veterans.
Good. Private Snuffy should be playing spades and dipping Copenhagen with his buddies while they complain about how stupid ths is, not out in neighborhoods playing untrained cop. This is honestly a best case scenario here.
Whiskey Pete probably to saw his ‘warfighters’ on Fox and decided PFC Snuffy, standing around with his hands in pockets, wasn’t emoting enough ‘warrior ethos’ or some shit.
‘Allowing other federal law enforcement agents to join the FBI after an abbreviated training’ is their way of circumventing the FBI’s more rigorous hiring standards and packing the ranks with bootlickers from ICE and the Border Patrol
Not super familiar with DC, but looks like they’re mostly hanging out downtown and not in neighborhoods?
Good for them for doing some sightseeing. I’d rather they do that than be out in DC’s neighborhoods harassing people. Probably a nice break from investigating actual criminals.
Honestly feeling pretty relieved that we got out of it with just the usual Trumpian mild embarrassment and not, like, Donnie T letting the Russians build a submarine base in Anchorage or something.
He looks like he just got talked into buying a time share condo in Orlando.
To be fair, she needed a home with adequate closet space to store her sizeable collection of Temu plate carriers, 5-11 pants and ball caps.
Lady Elaine. Absolutely terrifying puppet.
Fuck yes. Theee assholes need to feel afraid to leave their guilded cages.
Donnie T getting played like a fiddle, or a balalaika I guess.
Can’t imagine busting your ass to get accepted to the FBI, busting your ass to get through Quantico, only to have to schelp around DC in a plate carrier just to put on a show for Fox News instead of actually, like, solving crimes.
Judo is badass, good for you for starting them young. I started BJJ at age 47 and I’m terrified of rolling against anyone with a judo background.
I can’t decide between making fun of her for firing a rifle from a tripod, or for having the ass of an elderly man.
Jesus fuck. They’re holding an Olympics in our crumbling fascist state? What the hell?
Divination seems like it could be useful just to improve everyday life, maybe use it to pick lottery numbers or cheat at the casino. Evocation would be cool for like 10 minutes, but casting fireball would get old and honestly the local police would probably mag dump on you if they saw you do it.
BRB, heading down to the cafeteria to try my luck
This is weird as fuck. Is it meant boost the morale of their kidnapping force, who know everyone hates them, or what?
You can just say ‘lied’, it’s fine.
Porn is being banned we must start leaving it in the woods again
Gonna be a sad day for surface warfare meme lovers when they finally scrap The Admiral.
Haha fair.
One of my patients had Fox on last night and holy fuck. I don’t watch Fox, or any cable news really, so I forget how batshit crazy it is.
It reminds me of the guy that does the weird Republican paintings that are all, like, Donald Trump, George Washington, a random firefighter, a Native American chief and J.E.B. Stuart rowing across the Delaware River .
It’s really the only thing AI is good for tbh.
You know we’re living in the Upside-Down when the Catholic fucking church is actually stepping in and trying to do the right thing.
If the Epstein scandal pressure keeps up we’re gonna be getting all kinds of cool distractions. Bigfoot, JFK, the Philadelphia experiment, maybe the Mothman.
Dayum.
Grandpa McRanty is gonna need to try harder than this to distract from the Epstein stuff. This tired old shit isn’t gonna do it.
She’s 100% moving to Tennessee because the tax situation will be more advantageous for her. The ‘it’s a tough to raise a family here’ stuff is just her trying dress her greed up in a veil of Christian morality or whatever.
This lawsuit isn’t ever going to happen. This is going to be yet another ‘Two weeks’ situation.
Guy that speaks almost no Russian thought he was going to be a correspondent.
Inshallah
The military’s pivot from Southwest Asia to the Pacific and now to the War on Landscapers, Dishwashers and Day Laborers is giving me whiplash.
In what world are you living in that this week’s discourse has revolved around the Gen Z stare (whatever the fuck that is)? Because I want to live there instead of a country that’s rapidly deteriorating into an authoritarian nightmare so I can feign anger at dumb shit like this.
The last time I watched a late night show I was in junior high school and it was Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon. I feel a little left out of the Colbert discourse.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER is my absolute favorite Trumpian flourish. He’s 100% aping 60 years of collection notices and letters from the lawyers of people that he screwed when he uses it.
When me and my crew roll up on you
I know a lot of people are skeptical of this, but just think how much money rehabbing this prison, which was closed 60 years ago because it was horrendously expensive to maintain and was falling apart, can be funneled into the private prison industry and create value for shareholders?
My top guesses would be contractors, CrossFit gym owners, Vetbro T-shirt guys, and maybe some multilevel marketing schemers.
The whole small business owner to Trumpista pipeline is fascinating. There’s something about owning your own business, no matter how paltry, that makes people buy into the ‘bootstraps’ thing and think they’re really insiders that won’t be hurt by this fuckery.
I was hoping for heart failure or some liver stuff when I saw his cankles, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.
I can’t get over Trump stealing that soccer trophy. Like, I get that it’s small potatoes compared to the policies his administration has been enacting that are quite literally killing people, but it’s just so fucking indescribably bizarre.
Sitting in a dark room drinking his 4th double bourbon, realizing that he was making a lot more money as a fascist influencer than he is in government service, and that his incel followers are quickly losing interest in him.
He looks like the kingpin of a local crime syndicate in a straight to VHS action movie.
I hope there’s a Trump equivalent to the Nixon Tapes and that I live long enough to hear them. Can you imagine? It’s gotta be absolute madness.
‘Proud to be an American’ makes my skin crawl.
Jolly Ranchers are shit-tier candy.
This looks like something Hesgeth would wear.
This has gotta be something *really* weird to make Republicans squirm. They’ll hand wave away just about anything.
Eh, you’re giving her too much credit. She was probably just riding it out until she was vested in her compensation package.
A little kiss of succinylcholine would do ‘em good.
Mexican fruit cups are one of MS13’s more insidious plots, in case you didn’t know.
Impressed by ICE’s ability to ape all of the lame parts of our military, while avoiding all the genuinely cool stuff.
Looks like it touched the ground. That means we have to burn it, right?
I don’t really like horses. They’re kinda terrifying and I, probably unfairly, automatically associate them with terrible Horse Ladies. But I feel bad for them getting dragged into this cosplay bullshit. The should just be in paddock eating apples or some shit, not this.
Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill every fruit merchant that you meet -Thucydides
Why is he dressed like a magician though? Is that the uniform of the day for sex traffickers or something?
I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Hope you were paid in Boef & cheese sandwiches and curly fries
If they keep kidnapping day laborers, dishwashers and ice cream cart guys they’ll eventually trip over one of these MS13 gang members that we’re all oh so scared of, right? Like, one of them must have a side-gig selling Dippin’ Dots.
Weird to see Doocy ask an actual question. He usually sticks with ‘is it true that Dear Leader shot 18 holes in one and can bench 350lbs?’
I’m impressed that he had the follow through to actually have a staffer file this with the FEC. Figured he would forget all about this once the ketamine wore off.
I usually just string them along for a bit before segueing into how the neighbor’s black lab tells me to do terrible things, or about the people living in the walls of my house. Usually does the trick.
Last 4th of July I felt really subdued and reflective. I’m not really one for performative patriotism anyway, but it really felt like possibly my last 4th living in country that, while far from perfect, wasn’t completely fucked. Glad I’m working this year so I can just kinda tune it out.
Hats off to the artist who did the second portrait. He didn’t try to make him look like a normal human like the previous artist. He really captured the weird orange makeup, which I’m sure is challenging, and the unwell glazed over eyes.
My piece of shit Senator, Moreno, is a naturalized citizen born in Colombia. He thinks he’s safe because he’s ’one of the good ones’. We’ll see what happens when he ceases to be useful to them.
Was stopped at a light behind a car with vanity plates that read TREE LWN and a bumper sticker that said ‘Make Tree Lawns Great Again’ and I desperately want to meet this person.
lol cops aren’t giving up their union benefits and pensions. They always claim this shit and nobody ever resigns.
If you were flying into Hopkins on a 747, paying cash for a house in Bratenahl for your family and staff, and gifting your cardiologist a Patek Philippe you wouldn’t be saying that.
Seems awful. I’ve never worked there (I probably wouldn’t last 😂), and never want to.
Oh absolutely. They’ll continue to enjoy their ‘non-profit’ status while continuing to focus on bringing in that Emerati cash money and sidelining the local community.
Oh we all are, maybe Metro more than the rest of us, but it’s gonna be ugly. People are still gonna get sick (sicker because they won’t have access to primary care/meds), and we’ll still treat them, but the hospitals will end up eating the cost.
Pretty excited that we’re about to pump 60+ billion dollars into the agency that makes the people sniffing your shoes at the airport look like James fucking Bond.
Welp guess I’m glad I’ve been pounding out overtime the last few months. If this fuckshow embarrassment gets through the House (and it will), hospitals are going to absolutely haemorhage money.
Wonder how many DEA agents have been pulled off their actual jobs to kidnap taqueria dishwashers and landscapers?
This sounds right up my alley, look forward to it.
