Dollar General 💡
Tw——r, 2009-2020. American, mellotron sorcerer. Don’t blame me, I voted for the cop lady.
378 followers 260 following 3,927 posts
view profile on Bluesky
Dollar General 💡
It tasted STRANGE why did it taste so strange I don’t like the strange taste! Not so good! 🇺🇸
I am sure it is nothing, comrade.
We have to stuff him in the cell first.
I think PAM might be a little salty-tasting on its own, but your odds of contracting an STD from it seem low.
@daaffi515.bsky.social The definition of insanity is bringing in Helsley and expecting a different result. 🤪
They’re following the old Soviet playbook.
“ehhh hhhh hhhhh nasty hhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh hhh sleepy joe hhhhh ehhh koff kaff hhhhhhhhh hhhhhh favorite presimuhhhhhhh” 🇺🇸
Seems a bit late to put one in
“Presley, 42, has a concert stop tonight in Indianapolis before heading home to Memphis for a well-earned rest.”
Boy don’t even have his fake hair on
“Receive a complimentary glass of our least expensive wine when you mention this commercial.”
The Barrel Cracker is officially known as “Uncle Herschel”. (A member of the Tribe? Undoubtedly.)
When Hee Haw moved out of the cornfield and the cast stopped wearing overalls, it was like losing a brother. 😭
1974 was a bad year for sitcom second bananas: Joe Flynn, Ed Platt, Richard Long, Frank Sutton, Agnes Moorehead…
(Addrisi/Addrisi/Busiek)
You’re suggesting he won’t by any means be the last?
When that solid gold lid hits you on the head…
Tanks are rolling into Nashua at this hour
It’s intended to scoop you up and toss you over the balcony. Loads o’ laffs!
Oh christ, he’s married to one of those “let’s-make-smoothies-in-the-toilet” food hack women.
“Gee, that’s too bad.”
Its one week jump from #81 to #7 remains one of the biggest moves in the history of the Billboard Hot 100.
What’s Trump got?
Water finds its own level.
He was airlifted to Mt. Sinai Furniture Warehouse
When it happens, I will personally set foot inside a McDonalds, for the first time in over 35 years, give them my money, say “thank you” and walk out.
If his hand gets any blacker, he's not going to let it vote.
He was taken to John S. Hopkins Roofing & Siding
Were he vacceminated? 💉
@daaffi515.bsky.social
Jimi playing with The Ronettes, 1966
“I FIRED THE LAWNMOWER, I FIRED THE LAWN MOWER, AND I FIRED THE LAWN! Thank me for my attention to this matter!” 🇺🇸
F*cking Blithering Idiot
“Presley, 42, will conclude his current tour with dates in Cincinnati and Indianapolis before he heads home to Graceland.”
Roger Clemens shaved between innings of Game 6 so he’d look presentable for the victory ceremony…
When asked about his future plans, Cross expressed hopes to do some sailing.
Just scale back to one swig a day, in that case. 🍷
I’ve been stuck in Lodi, NJ a few times…usually at the DMV… #AT40
It was jug band music, literally featuring a dude blowin’ some mean jug.
Bobby Womack took the bait and named his backup band Peace. #AT40
Believe it or not, one of these gentlemen is Paul McCartney’s brother:
@thebangles.bsky.social If you’re not listening to the Bangles on 8-track, what are you even doing? @banglesfanclub.bsky.social
“But that fancy New Yorker on the teevee said we’d win the trade war and all our dreams would come true!”
This gentleman turns 100 next March. 👍🏼
“People know the name, sir!” “They certainly do, they burned our factory down.”
Courageous Patriots, every one. 🇺🇸
That’s Ronald Klump, his loser cousin from Ohio.
Just saw an ICE ad on the Mets game on WPIX. Big lies about sanctuary cities and who they’re grabbing. Targeted at “law enforcement professionals.” I hate the idea that MY government is lying in advertising.
hope the kitchen didn’t explode from boiling fat
THE SEA THE SEA THE SEA 🌊
maybe if we sang “Free Palestine” to the tune of “Sweet Caroline” we could get more white people on board
“This is the story of Dxnxld Trxmp, the first US president to be xssxssxnxted because he had lousy ratings.”
How long ago was his Alaska meeting with Putin question mark
Who are these dicks marrying women with tattoos and thinking they’ll suddenly stop getting them?
My look of shock is priceless.
He also announced he would release the Epstein files in TWO WEEKS
First pitch 6:05 pm EST 🇺🇸
that’s a good idea, he should totally add veins to this
his face fell off
What if it was the straw that finally did him in? He should have used plastic! He wiz rite about everthinh!!?!
OMG, it was weeks ago…
He should consider it a win to not get a backhand across the chops
Also, his suits are too nice, which shows disrespect to the average American voter. 🫥
Because he’s 79 and his cholesterol count is 52,000 mg/dL?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=FOQP...
Buffered Pustule
🇨🇦 All-Time Winningest Canadian-Born Mets Pitchers 🇨🇦 Ron Taylor (21 wins) Ken Mackenzie (8) Jim Henderson (2) Ray Daviault (1) 🎇 JONAH TONG (1) 🎇 Rob Zastryzny (0) Zach Pop (0)
UPDATE: Because I’m a functional illiterate and can’t read statistics, I gave you inaccurate information. Paul Blackburn’s combined ERA for the season is 8.07. His ERA for the Yankees is 13.50.
@daaffi515.bsky.social Seventh 19+ run game in #Mets history. 😀 The record is 24. @mets.com
Trump in Good Health and High Spirits, Says Bernie Mac’s Publicist
Might need up to 12 more of these guys, depending on how many classified docs are in that box
Heeeeeere’s HELSLEY!!
@daaffi515.bsky.social The confidence in knowing they’re gonna lose this lead, it’s bracing! 😎 #LFGM
Will this be like a King Tut situation where Loomer gets boxed with him?
Father Damien just checked into the Extended Stay America hotel in Nashua
“HAPPY 600TH BIRTHDAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT!! Playing golf today in Vanceland (formerly Scotland). TREMENDOUS!”
I’d like to see him Mountbattened on his putt-putt cart en route to the third hole
Just lost my vote
As a former member of the Aachen Bold Lobby, I’d like to explain.
The 80s were not the 70s, the 80s were the 50s with tech.
Calcutta with trombones.
Taco Bell water hits different though let’s be real
“Paid for by Stefanik for Mayor” 🗽
(not literally)
I guess this only works for musicians, because nobody remembers Dick Shawn. 🙁
I liked the song he does that rips off the Killers
big story
11:11 worth of highlights! My hat is off.
He looks like he crawled out of a septic tank.
@daaffi515.bsky.social BOY are the Phillies happy to be out of Citi Field
RIP Walgreens
CremaTruck
They were praying to God and not to Trump. Rookie mistake. 🇺🇸
www.espn.com/mlb/boxscore...
