It's a jailbird.
I promise I'll tell y'all if I hit the jackpot or or happen to get born into emerald mines cash. Until then, please use your time and DMs accordingly.
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It's a jailbird.
It's because all the kids lost their sense of taste to Covid.
Go buy his cryptocoin. Nobody* has regretted it!
i'm from the middle ages too.
Clearly the best use of the American 1 trillion war machine.
I've had it with those baseless conspiracy theories. Trump is alive and well, as evidenced by this indisputable live footage of him being very alive and very well this very moment: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLcf...
Don't forget to leave some space for the people who undermined the Supreme Court! Enough blame to go around.
"So there I was, fighting crime as usual..."
*can't plug it in the wrong way" Challenge accepted.
Boomerus Clausus.
Not all that gross. Oh, you meant- yeah, agreed.
Everybody keeps bashing the petticoat until you have to smuggle a team of three to five safecrackers into a casino.
#Whereistrump? In the Epstein files.
What brought this on? Did you watch the Even Specialer Edition of Star Wars where Chewie shaves and it's just Ron Perlman in a bandolier?
Can you hear the Epstein calling?
Does "bearly clothed" imply a certain threshold of clothing items or a certain amount of fur?
Looks... technically alive to me though.
Are elections still on work days in the US in order to minimise the participation of people who have to work to live?
Wouldn't it be just terrible if someone were to hog the spotlight by delivering an even more monumental event that everybody would talk about? Wink. Wink.
Am I going to hell for laughing at that? Sure, but I have to admit that was a good one.
That's a dead giveaway. It's always two weeks.
If there's better proof of health than an unseen person in the White House typing the words "NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE." into a phone and sending that, I don't know.
Oil.
"Proving that everything is perfectly fine and normal, Trump today addressed the press pool with what we assume was a reference to RFK's tastiest organ: 'Braaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnssss. Brrraaaainsssss'."
I bet Biden's team is conspiring to hide his true health status. More on the topic at ten from Jake Tapper.
Months ago, I made a joke I thought was satirically so exaggerated that it was impossible to mistake it as real. Today I saw its exact premise sincerely stated by the new acting director of the CDC. Just saying that I'm bookmarking this thread because I fear I will link to it again.
You mock the lack of effectiveness of thoughts and prayers, but what's the alternative? Demanding special licenses in order to be allowed to pilot cars? Making prospective drivers prove that they are physically and mentally capable of using one responsibly? The people would never stand for it!
Eye contact with a third person though.
That's like a MAGA brain.
Sorry to disappoint you, but he's done with that. Succeeded some time last November when Elon "knew those vote counting machines" well enough that Trump "won" the election.
Not at all - look, we have some live footage of him in the World Trade Center towers.
"I prefer the tasteless, colourless sponge so naturally I must now crusade to extinct all alternatives whom I have deemed deserving of THE BAD WORDS, i.e. woke."
There are many possible amounts I could care less about this, which is to say that I could not care less.
I'm reasonably certain I know what inspired this.
Don't eat yellow snow. Look at their actions, not their words.
War is peace. Ignorance is strength. Make America great again by driving it into a wall.
Since 2016, the US has been an on-and-off vassal state of Putin, even if nobody wants to accept that yet.
Some amazon app keeps pestering me that it needs an update. I have never installed any amazon app whatsoever and I don't even know how or where to find it (and refuse to go through the effort of actually trying).
Isn't it funny how the worst people always think that just because *they're* not the ones ones using it right now, it's "unused"? bsky.app/profile/jswe...
They should invent comics where you just write without drawing anything.
You do ONE little violent insurrection attempting to overthrow democracy om within and you never hear the end of it...
The cybertruck would already start to crumble after being exposed to the amounts of air shown in that photo.
I bet his answer is that DEI did it. And for everybody else in the junta and out there watching the propaganda channels, that will suffice.
Great! Then you can blame them for getting exploited by the system you bought plus blame all your fuck-ups on the ones who can't defend themselves because you kicked them to the ground. It's not a bug, it's a feature for those profiting from suffering.
So yes, it would be great if all Democrats worked towards getting the same results he does. Hell, I'd settle for literally any of them stepping up in a comparable way, but until then, the pickings are sparse. He's by no means good, but he's the only one even in the ring, it seems.
Among all politicians who are currently offering any kind of resistance other than hand-wringing and sending sternly worded letters, his is the most effective. And I don't even mean the trolling, which, while nice, will never reach through MAGA indoctrination. I mean the counter-Gerrimandering.
I was disappointed when i opened the pic and realised whose leg is where, actually.
Better deploy every branch of the military around that poster.
Nah, I don't think he'll get out.
The peak of hypocrisy would be if anybody complained that that is not the right group for that task because the Highway Patrol's job isn't doing that sort of protection detail. Y'know, while the National Guard is sweeping leaves in DC.
Ugh. I don't have time to trawl your entire timeline since inception with this new info. If my boss complains, you better have my back.
She is very concerned.
Consider it an investment in the only form of democratic input you have left to give.
Now that he fears the angels watch him cheat, there's nothing left of his usual tactics.
"Dragons would have descended from the skies and burnt it to the ground! Have you even said thank you once that Our Glorious Savior Trump saved you from the dragons?""
Jake Tapper furiously scribbling on a book he'll publish in four years.
Instead of engaging in introspection and critical thinking with regard to facts, his cultists will naturally continue the grift by blaming everything on their political victims and opponents. Again.
Satire is officially dead. bsky.app/profile/jswe...
HOLY FUCKEDY FUCK OF A FUCK, I was just kidding when I made this joke in December. bsky.app/profile/necr...
Trump's location finally confirmed: he's in the Epstein files.
If there are no other words for it, there's always "ummm" with different intonations.
That's a bit of a reach er.
"Yeah, not like, DO anything against it that costs money. Just blame them. We need the money for tax cuts for the billionaires."
No. Just the schools that teach anything worthwhile. They're perfectly fine with pumping money into PragerU-conducted McPropaganda factories.
Then deport every single Native American working there to some foreign concentration camp because they're not white enough to own the libs even more.
*cue every single landlord whetting their knives*
I have it. If you want it back, send four monies to this bank account: hamster.
Not punching yourself in the face is woke.
"He's alive and well. Well, alive."
That's it, folks. Warhammer is now solved. Time to pack up and go home.
If that's what fate was waiting for, I'd have been fine with it just being one chapter long. Or three words.
Just grab 'em by the flagpole.
Gettin' there.
"Only in theaters January 2026"? Seems like an economically shortsighted decision. Might benefit from a longer run in theaters.
Refusal to let the theft industry get away with theft would ruin the theft industry! RUIN it, I tell ya!
"My job here is done."
"And you know where I'm going to wash this down?" "The CECOT concentration camp?" "Chocolate milk."
Really depends on the difficulty. Give me a piece of paper and I'll make a 2-piecer in a second.
And once again: no consequences for RFK for lying to get the job.
Tackling the horrendous emergency one criminal at a time.
Step one: Imma need a sharper axe
Like, an order to physically gag them?
Give it, like, two months, maybe? publichealthpolicyjournal.com/mit-study-fi...
Sounds great, where can I find this app?
My experiments in fully disassembling and then reassembling a human body are already 50% successful. Step 2 is a bit of a problem.
Would be terrible if sensitive data weren't handled with the utmost care. www.npr.org/2025/08/26/n... I bet 10% of the company stock directly to the Trump crime syndicate would smooth the affair over.
Sounds like the taking-people's-money-and-then-letting-them-die-in-return industry is doing well.
Don't worry, they'll blame literally everyone else.
... *Wickets*
And that's another golf weekend financed.
It was less the family name that got him appointed but that he demonstrated a willingness to dismantle any public infrastructure and divert the funds into the Trump crime family's pockets.
In that case, do something for someone else.
The vultures are circling.
My guess: artificially enhanced gullibility in conjunction with Fox News brainwashing.
The sheer aubaahhcity.
Dementionald J. Trump
Goddammit, reality - stop stealing from satire. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZK8...
