Stephen Miller, Stephen Miller, let down your Herr.
(We Don't Need This) Fascist Groove Thang Coastal Elite® Team Bruise Irony Died on the Down Escalator
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Stephen Miller, Stephen Miller, let down your Herr.
The summit of beauty and love And micropenis is his name
Always knew he was Ferengi
I am reassured that even if SCOTUS rules 6-3 that TACO Dumbbell is immune from an eternity burning in Hell for any official act, that ticket was already punched by the time of the Central Park 5 ad.
Now we know The Four Seasons Women's Shelter makes house calls
Maybe he’s been exposed to cosmic rays?
I’m sitting on a case of champagne in anticipation of the blessed day. It doesn’t improve with age, just saying
Guns don’t kill people, the actions of the Trump administration kills people… along with the guns
The chances she actually wrote that letter are identical to the chances they will award Melonball the Nobel Peace Prize (though the marital hilarity that would ensue would be worth the price of admission, or at least what it cost to mail her to America)
We’re going to spend the first 8 months toppling all the Trump statues
Clowns also have necks.
I'm not worried, I'm hopeful. Prayers down.
is there a GoFundMe for the purchase of cheeseburgers?
If the tariffs go away, it cuts out a major source of bribes for him, could cut his grifting income by up to 4%.
Let’s just call him Bodacious Tata
Proposed new Smithsonian exhibits: (1) the actual cherry tree George Washington chopped down (2) documentary footage (in color!) of slaves happily working on the plantations (3) the quill pen Jesus used to write the Constitution
Thoughts and prayers that when the time comes, everyone has C&C Music Company cued up and ready to play in a time of national unity
I assume Fox News is dropped in Mississippi due to the age verification in order to watch porn?
When Peter Parker was bit by a radioactive spider, he got Spider sense. When RFK Jr. prefrontal cortex was utter consumed by a brain worm, he got Worm Sense and thus can see things only a worm can see. Mostly dirt.
If prayer worked, Kamala Harris would be president
You would figure their consistent take would be she would still be alive if she weren’t DEI. No consistency on the MAGA street.
This is called a job application
Wherever she is, she will be looking up at her funeral, not down.
While prosecutors can get any grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, the same cannot be said of throwers of such a sandwich
Guy throws a better slider than any reliever on the Nationals.
I want to hear their letters home on the inevitable Ken Burns documentary
Go bruise!
And as Trump character witnesses go, she’s a bit above the median
Save all the tapes for the Truth & Reconciliation Commission or whatever out Nürenburg trial equivalent will be in 2029.
Oh Donnie, listed to Kenny Rogers, don’t fall in love with a DeRemer
How about The Department of Jeffrey Epstein Distraction?
He’d name Pete the King’s Hand, but he would need to be bruised up first
In fairness, it only looks large because the hands are so tiny
“Smart People Who Declare they Are Smart People” would not a enough questions for a Jeopardy column.
Moore’s the one who likes women, shocked that TACO got that wrong.
$3.50 per avocado at Safeway. The TACO is anti-guacamole.
Maybe they think it is OK to call each other crackas (no “r”, of course)?
She was handed a note from Trump. “"I just want to find 11,780 fewer underage girls that you saw me with"
They took the cracka away and left the barrel.
Is this why they are showing tractor films on Fox News?
She didn’t say anything about an Epstein spreadsheet
She said it with tears in her eyes, unusual since she’s a big strong man who never cried before
The going hit rate is $25 in commissary or $650,000 in Truth Social stock. Or, in Clue parlance: Bill Barr In a camera less cell With a bedsheet
How would describe the man with the power to give you a pardon? Innocent or totally innocent?
A judge will have a ball with that, if it comes to that point.
Tomorrow's hat is the equally accurate "Trump does not have a micropenis"
I 100% assumed the one who bombed the Justice Gang interview was Dumb Bunny of the Inferior 5. Awkward, man.
math is hard... when you're not free to use your fingers
Those files sure have one cracka over the barrel
Can’t imagine how excited the titmouse was once mammals evolved.
Now I have to buy a Mexican flag decal.
The right has always fetishized vigilante “justice”.
When he loses the House — and he will — we’re in for endless tirades about election fraud. That is, unless Cankle Cancer finally does its job by then.
They have a problem with the logo but not with the “Cracka”?
Wars that Canckles McTaco has ended: Tug of War Kree-Skrull War Man O’ War The Way We War The War on Christmas Warren Beatty An War Sadat The War on Poverty
Merely celebrating the 10th anniversary of irony dying on the down escalator.
In fairness, he only has a TikTok account to post his hysterical fangirl reaction to hearing Taylor Swift’s new album.
Easier to see the ladders that way
even Wily Coyote knows you don't have to paint the whole thing
Sometimes I think 95% of what we hear from right wing pundits is performance art. And by sometimes, I mean all the time.
TACO is famous for not paying his Polish demolition workers in NYC, so the concept of unpaid labor is near and dear to him
We should call them the Epstein Liberation Army, since they are liberating the news cycle from Epstein
she would never talk directly to a law enforcement officer unless they had a Fox New show or a podcast (or did her hair and makeup)
By the end of the day, they will arrest someone for whistling at a white woman
Since the 40 man fascist roster is full, someone will need to be designated for assignment
They knew it was him due to his vanity plate PSYGRBR
In order to gain entry, one must first clean oneself in a golden shower
Alternative disaster plan for the under-30s Breakfast: Postmates Lunch: Uber Eats Dinner: Doordash
on the day Terrance Stamp died? Coincidence?
Tacostilskin cares only about McDonalds, which doesn’t take reservations
Imagine, Mark Halperin taking a heel turn after he took a heel turn?
Putin didn't need the food, he already had Trump for lunch
Florida man, 79, retreats to his safe space after humiliating defeat
Saturday Afternoon Humor 🤪😜🤣
An army from South Carolina sent to a northern city with a large Black population, has no one there ever cracked a history book?
Same guy called Marco Rubio thirsty.
🫛 tape
“Here, Donald, let me pull up the pee tape again”
Some heroes carry heroes
If we take the sandwiches away from the good guys, only the bad guys will have sandwiches
Trumps is asking “didn’t I slap a 50% tariff on Indiana?”
He literally bombed a country as a solid for a war criminal.
The Washington Nationals could use a guy who throws a mean slider, if he’s looking for a new job
From the guy who paid actors watch him come down as escalator, from a guy who pays minorities to stand behind him as window dressing for his racist speeches and the guy who (probably) paid some loser to take a shot at him
As Sam Cooke said, don’t know much about history
Would get someone fired from any private business in the country, exposing sensitive information carelessly
Where's that Van Halen soundtrack?
Putin is playing 3D chess, TACO is playing 1D Chutes and Ladders, and he's afraid of ladders.
ICE is going to arrest any Latino pitcher who throws a slider
Most of his voters are terrified to leave their homes without a gun. A gun that will be unused, unless (of course) they themselves get into a drunker/drug rage, or their kid finds it unsecured in the house and decides to play with it.
Google searches for “Satan lube?”are way up
Gives new meaning to “threw a mean slider”
Slightly diminish a band: “The. Above-Median Strength Clouds of Joy”
And the thumpers with their “Teach abstainance” still love him, because he hates the same people they do.
If only Jeffrey Epstein were alive to see this, he'd be proud that it is now OK with the MAGAs to demand a teenager show a stranger her boobs
Mets don't have starters, they have openers.
It seems the TACO plan is this (1) empty prisons and jails of white violent and non-violent prisoners by way of pardons & clemency (2) refill prisons with non-white citizens and immigrants.
A group of people so cowardly that they are terrified to go anywhere without their gun
