"How about a thank you for all the mornings we DIDN'T do this" ---- Karoline Leavitt....
Here I was worried about microplastics, thanks 2024....
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"How about a thank you for all the mornings we DIDN'T do this" ---- Karoline Leavitt....
MISQUOTE: This was actually RFK Jr...
ALSO the new slogan for the CDC...
"We incited a violent coup to overthrow the government on Jan 6th, but think about all the dates we DIDN'T DO THAT?? No one ever says thank you...
He WAS helping a domestic violence victim... don't tell anybody but it was Melania..
Due to a CLERICAL error, his death certificate was accidentally issued to Donald Jessica Trump....
....was the woman Melania??
..... GAVIN??
OH DEAR, how far the pants have fallen....
Almost like HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE IN HIS CULT AND ONLY LIVES FOR PERSONAL ENRICHMENT AT THE PERIL OF THE COUNTRY...
"Then Pirro and I will toast and go hunt immigrants for sport... please keep interviewing me"....
"Poor marks from Republicans" who then knelt down, let Trump shit on their spineless bodies and cried 'thank you daddy may I have another '...
PLEASE PLEASE say "Have I got ugh news for you" on the show...
(Pirro): DO NOT make jokes about me getting my law degree from Jersey Mike's law school, specializing in boxed wine....
Leave Melania out of this...
(Devil): can confirm...
I'd more likely believe it was him if there were misspellings ...
"Jews bring up the Holocaust too often, come on guys...."
L.A. would be on their knees, just like me....
(IF HE DID): In shocking news, heaven has reported it's first ever lynching today....
Be Best....
If they're eating the dogs and cats in Ohio, WHY WEREN'T THEY SENT THERE FIRST......
.....In Biden's backyard with binoculars????
"IT WILL IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT"---rfk jr....
"I'M FINE!! MY LEGS HAVE NEVER LOOKED BETTER THAN IN THIS SKIRT!!"-- Donald Jessica Trump
Ivana's last words...
CORRECTION: the venue has changed to Four Seasons Landscaping to better suit the CDC....
Fuck the nuclear codes, I'm uncomfortable with him having the code to the bathroom doors...
You mean THEEEEESSSEE GUNS...
If they're eating the dogs and cats in Ohio, WHY WEREN'T THEY SENT THERE FIRST....
"Ma'am, I just asked to see the menu......"
Can we get Obama to stand outside the morgue screaming "I demand to see your death certificate" like the 'birthers' did????
It's adorable you think he's invited to anyone's thanksgiving...
Whereas the Jeanine Pirro diet where you take a shot every time someone says 'immigrant' actually kicks dementia into maga-gear...
Stepping back from doing nothing... so he's joining the Russian front??
"Dearest Josephine.... rations are slim, they're out of maple bars"....
"NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMBING (over)"...
"Should have went harder"...& we're dismantling the Dept of Education...(Yes I know that's not the point but Jesus)
"Republicans came under fire for..." --American children came under fire for.... Republicans....
(Me watching my NFL team that doesn't know I exist); IF YOU MISS THIS KICK I WILL KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE...oh good he made it, let's go to church...
Worked for me!!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, may I introduce the soon-to-be CDC leader....
🤣 thank you! This will help cover the bald spot that appeared over the last 7 months....
Funny/NOT funny how often you can substitute "ICE" and "the current administration" in these sentences...
(Devil): can confirm...
Another Alabama Rep using the back door...
Dear sweet baby Jesus, please take all the pain this man has endured and give it to RFK Jr.... Amen..
(White House): who you gonna believe, the corpses piling up in the street, or US...
Then they'll spray paint it gold and call it good....
Making a 'Go Fund Me' to install one next to the Robert E Lee statue...
Child trafficker rapist comes off as loathsome....(Clutch the pearls and cue Republican gasps)
MAKE THE.HATS.
Wait, could it be possible there are TWO MEN THAT DAMN FINE 🔥
Maxwell isn't done editing them for Blanche yet....
(Republicans only take away): they're clapping for ME!!!!
JoJo paints with beautiful words, and yet that pic of him is more terrifying than her perfect description....
CORRECTION: we apologize for implying ICE has standards....
(Bad ass militia): we've trained our whole lives for this...
Ironically, the complete ruination of the CDC does NOT come with restrictions...
(CUOMO): And I'm thankful for all that 3-day weekend ass I can grab....see? We're the same?!
Can we invent some kind of "Dept" that cared about something like "Justice"??
(MEDIA COVERING MAGA LAWMAKERS): leaders say the skorp is the best hallal and their florkep immigrant helpoc....heil! In other news, Biden is old and Democrats are crazy....
"OUT DAMNED SPOT"....(only posted here, not a lot of Macbeth fans on Twitter)..
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Republicans: HOW OLD IS IT...
Donald Jessica Trump hands looking bigger than ever...
Exception: if the FBI was in on it...
"drunk female bananas 2 for $1"
Remember when the country cared about if it's people lived or died...
USA placed 196....out of the 195 countries that exist....
All those cars had the opportunity to do the best thing ever....
This is actually James Donald Bowman. Who has changed his name as many times as Donald Jessica Trump has filed bankruptcy...
But..."DEFACING COUNTRY ALLOWED"...
.....is it Ivana??
His new jobs report will tout 61,226 open positions...
(SCOTUS): Can Confirm....
💯 but only the current administration can do it with this much style...
QUICK, change the Cracker Barrel logo back....
IT IS....
He can't unfuck underage girls, let's hope we can do better...
Which will the government show proof of first???
As is the desecration of the country...
AUTOMATIC REPLY: I'm currently out of the office, please see Gavin's posts in my absence...
Like a Nielsen rating...
Under Putin's desk.....
OXY-MORONS???
"Mr PussyAssBitch, your approval ratings are through the roof!"
And if ANYBODY knows about being compromised....
Doubtful, but if TRUE that means I only have two wishes left...
😂 I won't believe it's Stafford until he takes the helmet off...
ICE and Stafford..... TAKE OFF THE MASK....
I'll accept this award on behalf of America First...
He's not having ass kissing meetings or threatening everyone... this isn't NORMAL...
BUT... BUT.... Mamdani wants rent control!!
.. he's just resting his spies...
The PREDATORS don't have a choice, but the PREY have a ton...
Is it ok for me to take the dogs to an AA meeting while eating cake...
He MEANT we'll see them in the autopsies..
OR....did the CDC just give us the gift of beating 26000 chances of death...
